In This Picture, David Cross Is Dying Inside

Rooney Mara’s Publicly Shitting On Past Jobs Club just found a new member in David Cross. David Cross was in all three Chipmunks movies and tells Indiewire that the last one nearly sucked the life out of his being and left him cursing Alvin’s name.

“This last film was literally, without question, the most unpleasant experience I’ve ever had in my professional life. It’s safe to say I won’t be working with some of those people ever again. Not the actors. And the director [Mike Mitchell] was great. We got along. There were a couple of people, though…it was just a really awful, unpleasant experience.”

Which isn’t to say the entire ‘Chipmunks’ experience has been rotten for him. “I got recognized in China,” he says, listing off the places ‘Chipmunks’ has taken him. “I got recognized in a teeny tiny town in Mozambique. In Zimbabwe. Botswana. It’s crazy.”

What does David expect from some shit called CHIP-WRECKED?! Chip-wrecked is what you get when you snort crushed Lay’s and freebase Ruffles grease, it shouldn’t be the name of a movie. Nothing good can come out of a movie named Chip-Wrecked. That sounds like the name of Satan’s yacht. David should’ve recognized this and pretended that he suddenly developed an allergy to chipmunks that is so severe that he can’t even act with imaginary ones or he’ll hack up pus-filled hive balls. It’s David’s own fault and he needs to shut his WAH WAH WAH hole with all the money he made off of that shit.

And I wonder who he was talking about when he said “a couple of people, though…”? Alvin and that know-it-all cunt Simon, right? They look like total douche holes.