…….Because The Hollywood Reporter says that NBC might have to order a specially-made booster seat to go on Matt Lauer’s chair. Their sources say that Ryan Gaycrest is considering leaving his American Idol job, his position as the fuckery master on E! and the familiar warmth of Simon Cowell’s furry tit pies to move to NYC to take over Matt’s spot on Today.
Several NBC executives and Today’s executive producer met with Gaycrest earlier this week to talk about filling Matt’s shoes (with the help of a few pairs of rolled socks) among other things. Matt hasn’t officially announced that he’s quitting that bitch, but NBC wants his replacement ready when he does. Matt’s contract is up in 2012 as is Gaycrest’s contract with E!.
The Today Show is basically a high(ish) brow E! News with weather reports and Ann Curry’s manufactured sympathy, so they might as well go all the way with this. Replace Ann with Giuliana Rancic, replace Natalie Morales with the Glam Fairy, replace Willard Scott with Snooki and replace the weather segments with reports on the Kardashians‘ (aka Gaycrest’s Frankenwhore monsters) fart patterns. As long as they don’t touch Kathie Lee Gifford and don’t force her to sober up, I’m in!