Hot Slut Of The Day!
Your cousin Ivon Padilla-Rodriguez killed it during a halftime football-throwing contest at the LSU-Georgia SEC Championship yesterday. Ivon went up against a girl who throws like an 8-year-old me during a dodgeball game and it wasn’t even a competition. Ivon took that ho down and then gave one of the greatest victory speeches of the year after Dr. Pepper handed her a $100,000 scholarship check. (Yes, here in the US you either have to throw balls, sell your balls or suck on balls to pay for higher education.) Ivon grabbed the check and took me higher when she said this into the mic:
“Dr. Pepper Is Seriously The Best Thing That Has Ever Happened To Me!”
Now, I have a more refined palate that tends to only tingle for the exotic, so I prefer Mr. Pibb, but I’d say the same thing if Dr. Pepper handed me $100,000. What’s the quickest way to get a ho to declare you as their official life-maker? Present them with a six-figure check. Congratulations, Ivon! Don’t spend it in once place. (Actually, she probably will spend it in one place when she goes to buy books for the semester.)