Butt Glitter And Rhinestone Dust All In Your Eyes

November 7, 2011 / Posted by:

If 100% of the %1 looked like this, bitches wouldn’t be pissed at all!

This is the sch in my nitzel, Harald Glööckler (government name: THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GNOME CREATURE IN THE WORLD!!!!), exuding luxuriousness and seeping out potent opulence from his pores at the Berlin launch of his new gold dinnerware that is so damn expensive you’re going to receive an invoice in the mail for just looking at pictures of it.

Harald could pay my electricity bill just by kissing the ConEd envelope and leaving a print of his crushed ruby lipstick on it. Harald ups the value of a piece of toilet paper by 10,000% just by rubbing his golden glazed orifice on it. Just look at Harald sitting around poor peons while wearing every jewel from QVC of the Nile and there’s not one bodyguard protecting him. If one of his priceless jewels gets snatched, he’ll just fart out another one.

I bet Harald was a Sweet Secrets Doll in his past life. Bitch IS luxury. Fancy isn’t even a fancy enough word to describe this. The Evil Queen can give up her throne to Harald now, because he stole her look and gave it the diamante-encrusted glamour it needed.

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