Hugh Grant’s “Fleeting Affair” Produced A Surprise Baby

Hugh Grant learned the Benicio Del Toro & Kimbo Stewart way that when you drop a jizz load into your piece and there’s no rubber parachute there to catch it, there’s a chance that in 9 months you’ll have baby piss in your face and a child support invoice in your mailbox.

The dude who perfected the British stutter in practically every damn romantic comedy from the 90s is somebody’s father and his rep makes it clear to People that the lady he thought was a two-week fuck has now turned into someone whose face he’ll see every other weekend when he picks up his kid. Hugh’s rep put it like this:

“I can confirm that Hugh Grant is the delighted father of a baby girl. He and the mother had a fleeting affair and while this was not planned, Hugh could not be happier or more supportive. He and the mother have discussed everything and are on very friendly terms.”

That totally is the white gloves and top hat way of saying, “That bareback bitch raw dog dicked a ho in the back of a rented mid-level sedan again. You know how he does it.”

Hugh’s rep wouldn’t say who the mother is, but the NYDN took a Detective La Toya monocle to the situation and they believe the mother is Chinese actress Tinglan Hong. Hugh fucked around with her for a minute last January and she was looking a little full of fetus-ish back in April. I really hope she is the mother and I really hope Hugh did the right thing by naming his baby friend, son or daughter, Divine. I mean, Divine Hong-Grant does have a beautiful ring to it.