Let Sleeping Harry Belafontes Lie

October 18, 2011 / Posted by:

These are the facts: Harry Belafonte is 84 years old and was forced to pull his sleeping bones off of his Tempur-Pedic to move his tired lips while talking about some HBO documentary to local news stations across the country yesterday morning.

This is also a fact: Reading that sentence probably lulled you into a deep keyboard nap like you just orgasmed while swallowing a cup of MSG. WAKE UP!

Okay, so because of the second fact, you can completely understand why Shari Belafonte’s father slipped into a nap while waiting to talk to Eyewitness News in Bakersfield, CA. Besides, oldies are master nappers. They’re almost better than cats at napping.

They wake up in the morning, sit up, slip their house shoes on and take a quick nap while sitting up. They wake up again, grab a glass of water on the bedside table and take a quick nap with their hand still on the glass. They wake up for a third time, take a sip of water and take a quick nap with the water still in their mouth. They wake up for a fourth time, swallow the water and take a quick nap again. By the time you’ve washed your pits, slipped on your tuxedo onesie for work and ate an entire carafe of coffee, your pepaw hasn’t even gulped one sip of water.

You know what else oldies are good at? Lying about taking naps! Harry’s rep is trying to say that he wasn’t going mimi times, he was meditating. Ommmmmmmmmmmyoulying!

“After weeks of literally hundreds of interviews promoting his HBO documentary [Sing Your Song], memoir and CD, Mr. Belafonte had an early morning satellite TV tour this past Friday. His earpiece wasn’t working, so he decided to take the time to mediate before the rest of his Day-O.

Mr. Belafonte is 84 years young, but sharper and more awake than most who have been interviewing him. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people took a moment to meditate.”

Don’t nap in our eyes and call it meditating! This is like my abuelita saying that she wasn’t sleeping, she was quietly praying to her lord and savior to save my brat soul. Yeah, and I’m sure that wasn’t snoring. The power of prayer blew the holy ghost right out of her nostrils. I know I’m gonna get it for that one….

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