Escandaloso: Beyonce’s Bump Magically Folds In Half On TV

October 10, 2011 / Posted by:

Sandra Rose posted these hilarious screen shots from Beyonce’s appearance on Sunday Night HD last night and as she sits down for the interview the holy skin cocoon protecting the unborn golden child completely collapses. HAHA. Sandra says that ever since Beyonce pulled the ultimate STUNT QUEEN move by unveiling her bump in dramatic queen fashion at the VMAs, conspiracy theorists have been whispering on the Internet that she’s faking it and Basement Baby’s afro is the one carrying her baby and will give birth to it in February. I grew up thinking that Dynasty was real life, so I love scandalous shit like this, but let me throw out a few theories as to what’s really going on.

1. The unborn golden child is so special that it can only grow in Beyonce’s butt.
2. The unborn golden child is so special that Beyonce has to wear a protective pad to keep it safe.
3. This is just marketing for House of Dereon’s new line of memory foam bumps.
4. Nicole Kidman wasn’t available when Beyonce asked if she could give her private lessons on how a skilled professional wears a pillow baby to perfection.
5. This is completely natural and I have no idea what I’m talking about (as usual) since I’ve only been pregnant with whoopie pie babies that later became poop babies.
6. Stealyonce strikes again and stole this idea from Desperate Housewives!

And here’s the video of Beyonce’s bump in motion. Yeah, I didn’t know J.R. Ewing became Australian either.

See, something in the amniotic fluid ain’t creole! Somebody get MythBusters on the case!

(Thanks to everybody who sent this in)

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