Maggie Gyllenhaal Has Her Own Vibrator Swap Program

September 21, 2011 / Posted by:

If you ever get a promotional e-mail from a site called Netdix, you can send your complaints to Maggie Gyllenhaal for putting ideas into people’s heads and other places. Maggie is out promoting Hysteria, that movie she did about the world’s first vibrator, and says that while filming it several London sex toy stores sent her enough electro pussy ticklers to fill an episode of Whoarders (and a Scientology men’s sauna). It was like Clitmas for her cooze!

Maggie tells The Cut (via Gothamist) that she has a selfless vagina and wants to gift all of her friends with nut busting goodness so she lends her vibrators out and they use them for months at a time. YES. Maggie shares her vibrators. Do they even make vibrator sanitizer? What about vibrator condoms? This pussy dust sharing nasty bitch!

“By the time I finished the movie I’d been sent maybe 15 vibrators by different people in London with vibrator stores. It was a pleasant surprise. So I have this incredible collection, and I actually use like one or two of them. I lend them to my friends, and they’ll take them for six months at a time. [While shooting Hysteria] I was sent a lot of vibrators from different sex stores in England while we were shooting the movie. I shared them around.”

This mess of words did make me ewwwwwww from every body hole (Hazmat is on their way), but then I thought about it. I mean, I became blood brothers with my best friend when I was a kid. Isn’t this sort of the same thing? If you’re both surfing the red tide at the same time you had dirty silicone sex with the same vibrator, isn’t that like a blood sisters ceremony? Or let me put it this way. Let’s say you and your friend were both new kinds of drunk and a peen landed in front of you, would you lick it at the same time? You’re a shameless whore slut so just say YES. Sharing vibrators is practically the same thing! It’s like prolonged group sex for the lonely.

P.S. – If you ever get that e-mail from Netdix, forward it my way.

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