Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

July 26, 2011 / Posted by:

This celebrity couple is pregnant, but both parties aren’t happy about it.

She is all about the family. She loves children and would happily have whole gaggle of kids. But he is just not that into being a husband and father, and was looking for a way out of the marriage. In fact, he already had one foot out the door. Why? Because an ex of his is going to be back on the market soon, and he was excited about giving that relationship another shot. But with another bun now in the oven, he knows he would look like a total jerk if he left his wife within the next year.

Expect the baby announcement to be made within the next three weeks. And expect him to pretend he’s happy about it. After all, his many talents do include acting. (Blind Gossip)

Jennifer Garner, Ben Affleck and JLo? If it is their asses, we should silently gives thanks to that unborn Affleck baby for keeping us from suffering through the second coming of Bennifer 1.0, because their joint interviews are the stuff barf is made of. Thanks for taking one for the team, baby.

When this D List actor dad from a popular, mostly 90′s show couldn’t cut the line on the Indiana Jones ride at Disneyland, he shoved the kid attendant and told him to “Fuck off!” He then yelled at the crowd, “What are you looking at? Don’t act like you people are anything like me. I’ve done things. Don’t fucking look at me!” He stormed out of the ride even though the staff did their best to console him and were polite. Most people stood in shock, but the crowd actually applauded as he left. (BuzzFoto)

Bob Saget was the name my brain first burped up after reading this shit since he was forced to say G-rated words for so long that nowadays all he does is say fuckofffuckofffuckoff on a loop. Dude has a lot of fucks to off since he couldn’t say those words for most of the 90s. But I’m going to guess Alfonso Ribeiro, because it’s been way too long since I’ve typed the name Alfonso Ribeiro.

Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony are not the only celebrity couple who have been able to keep their breakup on the DL. This other dual-celebrity couple has also called it quits after several years of marriage. The husband and wife are each very successful in their chosen professions, though she tends to sample other creative outlets. Both are award nominees/winners, but she is the much more high-profile of the two. The breakup happened several months ago, but they are stalling the public announcement until later this year while the finances and custody arrangements are being worked out. We expect that it will be a very intelligent and civilized divorce (Blind Gossip)

SJP & Matthew Broderick or Fishsticks Paltrow & Chris Martin? If it’s the latter, we should’ve this coming for two reasons: a) Two cunts only work in a lesbian relationship and b) When Fishy talked about how she would rather smoke crack than eat canned cheese, she was obviously making fun of Chris’ dick cheese.

This D list actress has not been in anything in forever. Oh, she still has close to A list recognition which is remarkable considering how little she has done in years. It is that child star thing. It sticks with you. Anyway, her boyfriend was overheard commenting the other night that he only stays with her because she is rich, gives great head and has the best supply of coke anywhere in North America. (CDAN)

That’s my Kimmy Gibler!

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