The Meaning Of Elegance Finally Has An Anthem

February 7, 2011 / Posted by:

The Empress of Lucite is already the most beautiful goddess in the world, erotic cinema superstar, portrait of a doting mother, feminist beacon, Anna Wintour’s personal style icon, every flower’s inspiration, the only reason why the sun rises and now she can add musical chanteuse to her resume. TMZ posted a tiny clip of the musical masterpiece that will soon go triple Lucite, climb to the top of every chart and also help to spike sales in Valtrex ear drops. This is what it sounds like when doves ORGASM.

The window into elegant’s soul (or the “music video” as some you non-worshipers might call it) is called “Everybody Wants to be a Porn Star” and co-stars a Playboy model named Anna Garcia. I’m not even trying to listen to you HATING BITCHES out there who are screaming that Shauna sounds like a baby Paris Hilton practicing her French while having a constipated moment on the toilet. YOU LIE. Shauna coos like a nightingale queefing and you can’t tell me otherwise. This exquisite lullaby should replace every church bell and should also be played in all delivery rooms so that every newborn baby immediately knows that the world truly is a beautiful place.

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