Han Solo Married Ally McBeal

June 16, 2010 / Posted by:

67-year-old Harrison Ford became a husband for the third time yesterday after he got hitched to 45-year-old Calista Flockhart in Santa Fe, New Mexico. Yes, that is Calista Flockhart in the picture above. She’s been pulled and pricked more than Gay Al’s b-hole over the years which has left her looking like a damn parched fawn who rolls with bunnies. No grown ass woman should look like Bambi! But back to the happy news…

TMZ confirms that the two were married yesterday by the Governor of New Mexico. Harrison is in New Mexico shooting a movie called Cowboys & Aliens.

Harrison and Calista first started sharing an after-sex Metamucil together 8 years ago. They got engaged last Valentine’s Day. They both have been raising Calista’s 9-year-old son.

I didn’t think these two would ever make it legal. I figured Harrison thought the was too old for that shit, but he probably just said fuckit. And he also agreed to do it because Calista promised him vanilla sheet cake with strawberries in the middle. Oldies live for that kind of cake (ask my abuelita). And Calista hasn’t eaten cake since the 70s so more for him!

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