It’s Not A Show Without The Crystal Enchantress Of The Ice

June 7, 2010 / Posted by:

The Crystal Enchantress of the Ice has really nothing to do with music or movies, but the producers of the MTV Movie Awards (or the alternatively titled The Jacking Twilight Off Awards) lured him to their party by promising him a lubed-up foot massager named Daddy on his seat because they knew every single rhinestone on every single low-budget celebwhore would not shine unless he was there. True fact: If you see a rhinestone glimmering, it isn’t because the light is hitting it. It’s because it’s winking at Johnny Weir.

So it’s a good thing Johnny showed up, looking like the gay love child of Pee Wee Herman and his giant foil ball, because if he didn’t there’s no way Xtina’s pussy would’ve done the Care Bear Stare:

But seriously, Johnny was probably rolling his eyes in the audience, because his no-no can do that naturally without help from a battery pack or light bulbs. Xtina should leave the pussy blinking to the pros.

Here’s a few pictures of the other bitches at last night’s show. They are: Shaun White and his fur nips, Xtina, Russell Brand, Vanessa Hudgens and Cover Girl Zac Efron, ScarJo, Katy Perry, Snooki, The Guido Don Knotts, Kristen Stewart and RPattz.

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