Stephen Baldwin Needs Our Money!!!!!!

On the internet exists a 100% real website (we think) that is completely and utterly devoted to publicly restoring Stephen Baldwin’s good name by taking donations from YOU. Sorry, Haiti, the star of Sharks in Venice needs our coins so that he can pay the lease on his Buick. It’s in the name of God, after all.

The video looks like it was produced by the same bitches who put together that Scientology master(crazy)piece starring Tommy Girl. If the Trinity Network had their own True Hollywood Stories series, the trailer would look like this mess. Speaking of mess…..

The entire website will make you laugh with your fists and fart with your eyes. Example:

Q- Why doesn’t his family help him?
A- His family does not perceive Stephen’s predicament as a matter of spiritual warfare. They see Stephen’s outspoken Christianity as poor choices therefore they will not help.

Q- What happened to his wealth?
A- When he became an outspoken Christian in 2002 his income went down by 70% when he refused roles with gratuitous sex and violence.

Q- If Stephen was not involved how did you get permission to do this?
A- Daniel Southern is Stephen’s spiritual advisor and the President of Stephen’s ministries. We contacted Daniel who gave us written permission to build the site.

The best part is that they are just asking for a small donation of $4.21! 421! The day after 420. This is fucking perfect since on 4/21 I usually feel parched, bloated and hungry for anything that’s batter-based. And that’s exactly how this website makes me feel.

And just because Stephen Baldwin is hard up for a job doesn’t mean he’s the modern day Job. You are not what you need.

via Videogum