From The “How Dreadful” Files: Kesha On Saturday Night Live

This is exactly why I stopped doing Ecstasy and going to raves years ago. Kesha (her dollar sign has been repossessed) brought her flea market fuckery to Saturday Night Live last night, and I don’t know if my system will ever be able to make endorphins again.

At the beginning of that Tik Tok mess (above), Kesha had a look on her face like someone was holding a gun to her head and forcing her to thrust her American Apparel-ized camel toe while a couple of MTV trophies stumbled behind her ass. She was as mortified as all of us. And that outfit. It’s as if Gay Al Reynolds commissioned a Captain America costume for his 4th of July party. If you see the skeleton of Betsy Ross rolling around the streets, you now know why. Bitch rolled out of her grave and kept going.

For her second performance, Kesha took the stage looking like she was the recipient of a lava lamp and glow stick bukkake party in a tepee. This is what happens when you lace your peyote with freon.

And since Shrimp in a Diaper thinks she’s like Native American now can someone send her a smoke signal that reads: “HO STOP!”