Even though RPattz’s new wax figure at Madame Tussauds’s in London looks more like a skinny Leonardo DiCaprio with a Yorkie on his head, that isn’t stopping crazed Twihards from trying to lose their virginity with it. I hope the cleaning people know how to remove extra chunky panty pudding crust from wax, because that thing will be covered in it at the end of the day. You know how some park statues are drenched in pigeon poo? Well, it’s going to look like that, but instead of pigeon caca it will be coochie cream. MAN DOWN CODE 10!
And in 9 months, all of these crazies will be giving birth to tealights and shit.