Showgirls: The Sequel

May 5, 2009 / Posted by:

The eagerly anticipated (not really) film debut of Xtina is upon us! Variety says Xtina has signed on to star in Burlesque, a movie written by the chick who wrote Erin Brokovich and directed by Troy from Goonies. The movie was written with Xtina in mind and will start shooting later this year.

As for the plot…. Just take one part Showgirls, one part Glitter and blend together. Pour into a glass and sprinkle just a little bit of Coyote Ugly on top. There you go:

Aguilera will play an ambitious small town girl with a big voice who finds love, family and success in a Los Angeles neo-burlesque club.

If the rest of the cast is also played by drag queens, then this is going to be a masterpiece that could top Showgirls as the cinematic experience of my life. I just don’t understand why they didn’t just save their coins and release Xtina’s home movies instead. I mean, small town girl singer becomes a glorified pussay peddler? That is her life!

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