Open Post: Hosted By The Penis Festival Of Japan

April 6, 2009 / Posted by:

Every year the great people of Japan honor the most important thing ever created: THE PENIS! Hundreds of thousands cum from all over to celebrate wang at the Steel Phallus Festival in Kawasaki. There’s peens to the left, peens to the right. Peens coming out of ears! Peens coming out of the ground. It’s like peen fucking heaven. You can eat peens, suck on peens, ride peens, light peens and wear peens! People from all ages celebrate the peen. PEEN! PEEN! PEEN!

Yeah, why wasn’t I there, right? Well, it wouldn’t be a good thing for all involved. There is such a thing as too much dick. I don’t know how my body would control itself. My ears would start foaming, my asshole would start slobbering and my peen hole would not stop singing. I would go absolutely dick crazy! I’d ride, suck and slap on dick until I went COCK-EYED. I would also lose my fucking voice and the phrase “Cock got your tongue?” would apply! Cock got my tongue and ripped it off! No thanks. I don’t not want to end up a cross-eyed mute!

P.S. – You know I’m lying. You’ll see me perched upon that giant pink peen statute next year! Now you see it! Now you don’t!

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