TomKat

 

Child experts are concerned that 15-MONTH-old Suri Cruise is still on a bottle. HAHAA! Suri was caught by cameras at the L.A. Galaxy game happily clutching and sucking on her bottle.

 

A baby expert told The National Enquirer, “Liquids containing sugar- including milk, formula and fruit juice- if left in a baby’s mouth, can acidify and become corrosive to the teeth. If the baby lies in bed or sucks on a bottle for long periods of time, both the upper and lower teeth can be subject to decay."

 

Another expert is concerned about the emotional well-being of Suri being on a bottle too long.

 

 

I know this story is sort of lame, but I thought it was funny. I think tooth decay is the last thing Suri needs to worry about. Shouldn't these "experts" be concerned about her father being a told NUT JOB?!

 

 

 

Damn! Katie's got the movies. She's bringing back the "funky chicken!" UsWeekly caught TomKat getting their "ewww" on at the welcome party for Posh & Becks. I'm guessing Tom is so nervous about not looking like a flaming queen on the dancefloor that it's turning him into a sweaty mess. It's ok Tom! Let's the asslips go and have some fun.

 

The people around them are thinking..."Am I in a dream? Why are they the only ones dancing? There's no music on."

  

 

The German Protestant Church isn't happy that Tommy Girl is shooting in their country and they are comparing him to Nazi propaganda minister Joseph Goebbels. The Church is saying that Tommy is using his fame to publicize his "cult religion." 

 

The chuch said Tommy is the “the Goebbels of Scientology." They went on to say “This film (Valkyrie) will have the same propaganda advantages for Scientology as the 1936 Olympics had for the Nazis.”

 

A spokeswhore for Tommy Girl said, “Mr. Gandow's  comments are both irresponsible and wrongheaded."

 

Valkyrie is currently shooting in Germany with homo-director Bryan Singer. God, I hope Bryan will give up some good dirt when it comes time to promote this movie.

 

Source

 

 

Tom Cruise is getting fuglier and fuglier. It looks like his ears are growing while his body is shrinking. It's from all the lies he tells! He should've been the one wearing the heels at last night's welcome party for Posh & Becks.

 

Katie looks like the perfect Senator's wife. It's straight-up creepy. She definitely looks like a White Republican that can keep a secret or two. 

 

 

 

 

Somebody get me the recipe for my very own Suri Cruise. She is the cutest robot baby EVER! She's definitely cuter than that weird Japanese baby robot.  She's so life-like!

 

Suri was a paps dream at yesterday's L.A. Galaxy game. Katie sans Tom looked a little sunkist and although she still looks like a 50-year-old soccer mom, she looks a little fresher without Tom. Suri's gonna hate her ass in 2 years.

 

Posh on the otherhand looked gorgeous. NOT! I can't believe she actually sweats! I'm shocked.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tom Cruise's gay ass will fly back to Los Angeles from Berlin where he's filming that Nazi movie to host a "Welcome to Los Angeles" party for Posh & Becks. More like a "Get Becks Drunk And Then Lick That Ass Party." Invitations went out all over Hollywood and were apprently tacky as hell.

 

A source said, "Invitations went out all over Hollywood. They were printed on red velvet with tacky gold lettering."

 

Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith will co-host with TomKat.

 

I say we crash the party! We'll dress up as aliens and as soon as they see us walk through the door, everyone will get on their knees and start chanting some crazy Xenu shit. We'll loot the bar, take pictures of Tom's sock drawer (which I'm sure has 12" dildos in it) and then we'll skedaddle!

 

Above is Tom trying to be hot in Berlin yesterday.

 

Image - Splash

 

 

 

 

Here we go again! Katie Holmes has started the baby rumors again by showing off a little bump at last night's "Hairspray" premiere in NYC. Last month, Katie was rumored to be knocked up when she was snapped with a minor bump. That rumor was quickly squashed when she papped the next day in a mom bathing suit and no baby bump. Their reps have denied the couple are bringing Xenu's next heir into the World.

 

Silly rabbits! That's where Tom keeps the controls! I wouldn't doubt it though. Look at all the attention they got from Suri. It's a little too soon though. Tom's new movie doesn't come out for a while. Trust that she'll get Chris Klein to knock her up again by then. Tom probably watches and jacks it in the corner. OMG! A Tom jack-off face is not something I want to see.

 

 

 

 

Katie Holmes made a surprise appearance at NYC's Hairspray premiere tonight. She was most likely there to support her fellow alien, John Travolta. Katie actually looks young, fresh and even a little hot. It's amazing what a little time without Tom will do.

 

Unfortunately, Katie is nothing compared to the ultimate hotness, Michelle Pfeiffer. Bitch is almost 50! She really needs to tell me what the hell kind of dead baby cream she's using.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Suri Cruise needs to run her little ass out of there! I'll even lend her a few before she gets on her feet! She can even crash on my sofa, but she better not even think of eating my Ben and Jerry's.

 

Yeah, she won't. Oh well. Suri and Katie Holmes were papped in Berlin where the two are in town for Tom's new movie about Hitler. 

 

 

Armistead Maupin is the author of the extremely homo books "Tales of the City" and according to Holy Moly! gave his theory on closeted gay actors in Hollywood at a book signing in London.

 

Armi said:

 

"...of course the Church of Scientology comes in very handy. (huge laugh from audience) It's the biggest ex gay movement in America. They catch you when you're young and confused, tell you they'll look after you, even provide you with a wife and child... Then of course you have to do what they call an audit, where you confess everything you've ever done into a tape recorder, so they've got the tapes. So once you're famous and successful you have to go along with all their nonsense about people falling into volcanoes... (pause)... then you play a woman in a movie musical, a part created by a drag queen and written by a gay man..."

 

You know Johnny and Tommy have sent their alien minions after Armi. I won't be surprised if next week Armi is married to a pregnant woman and writing books about aliens.