Sadness

Kelsey Grammer and his wife Kayte told everyone earlier this year that she had a double case of the babies. But in a statement released today to People, Kelsey said that one of the twins, a boy, died right after they told everyone. That's the drop of sad news for them. The drop of happy news for them is that Kayte birthed out a baby girl early this morning in L.A. and no, they didn't name her EffOffCamille:

“We are thrilled. Mother and child are in excellent health.

We were ecstatic earlier this year, when we announced that Kayte was carrying twins. Tragically we lost the little boy shortly thereafter. This was not something we cared to make known publicly at the time. It was unspeakably painful and we know that people will understand our desire to keep the news private then, as we know they will respect our privacy in this matter now.

A glorious birth with a lingering sadness is ours today. We choose to celebrate the life that has been given us. We proudly introduce our Faith Evangeline Elisa Grammer, to the world today looking forward to the days ahead and the children yet to come.”

Just add that sadness to Kelsey's Wikipedia page. Have you ever read Kelsey's Wiki? It's like a novella. Tragedy after escandalo after tragedy. Kelsey's estranged father was shot dead, his twin half-brothers died in a scuba accident, his younger sister was murdered by a serial killer and his second wife tried to shoot his ass. There's like a full season of 48 Hours Mystery right there.

I get why the named their kid Faith and I kind of like the name Faith (any name that shares a name with a George Michael song is a good name), but did they really need to give her the initials F.E.E.G. FEEG!

Ernest Borgnine's angel wing eyebrows spread wide and flew him off to heaven today after he died of kidney failure while surrounded by his wife Tova and children at Cedars-Sinai in L.A. Ernest was 95. Ernest's manager issued this statement to CNN about the passing of the original Gappy:

"It's a very sad day. The industry has lost someone great, the caliber of which we will never see again. A true icon. But more importantly, the world has lost a sage and loving man who taught us all how to 'grow young.' His infectious smile and chuckle made the world a happier place."

If you ask your memaw how she best knows Ernest Borgnine, she'll probably say Marty, the role he won an Oscar for in 1955. If you ask me how I best know Ernest Borgnine, I'll say the original The Poseidon Adventure (let's just forget that remake ever happened), because that shit is the best. If you ask an 8-year-old (or your favorite stoner) how they best know Ernest Borgnine, they'll say they know him best as the Mermaid Man from SpongeBob and then they'll tell you that the police should really question Dirty Bubble. Ernest was also in From Here to Eternity, McHale's Navy, Airwolf, The Simpsons, The Dirty Dozen and on, and on, and on. Oh, and Ernest was also married to Ethel Merman for like a month in the 1960s, because why not?

Rest in peace, Ernest Borgnine. Thank you for these wise words to fap by.

That sound you hear is the sound of unwrapped Werther's Originals rolling across the linoleum floor after every memaw and pepaw dropped their favorite candy to cover their mouths in sadness at the news that the star of the only shows they watch has gone up to the great big Mayberry in the sky. Just a day before the Fourth of July, America has lost one of its national treasures. Andy Griffith's good friend Bill Friday tells WITN that Ben Matlock and Sheriff Andy Taylor passed away this morning in North Carolina. Andy was 86.

Bill Friday says that Andy died early this morning at his home in Dare County. Most know Andy from Matlock and The Andy Griffith Show, but he was also in Waitress and Pray for the Wildcats. While reading about Andy on Wikipedia, I learned that was never nominated for an Emmy for Matlock or The AG Show. I know, pick up those Werther's and drop them again.

Rest in peace, Andy Griffith. Grampa Simpson will never be the same again.

Just three quick seconds after I posted my post about how the Internet prematurely declared that Nora Ephron was floating up to heaven, The Washington Post reports that she passed away tonight. Nora was 71.

TMZ says that Nora suffered from cancer, but The Washington Posts says that she died of complications from the blood disorder myelodysplasia.

As I wrote in my post below, Nora basically wrote every single movie Meg Ryan was in and if you want to know the names of all the movies she wrote and/or directed, just look in the boot box marked "rainy days/sad days/eat raw cookie dough" days under your bed and you'll find every single one of her movies.

Nora is survived by her husband Nicholas Pileggi and her two sons.

Rest in peace, Nora Ephron.

This afternoon, Liz Smith hit the publish button a little too soon on a sort of obituary she wrote for her friend writer and director Nora Ephron, but there's a little problem: Nora Ephron is still alive. Whoops. But ABC News says that Nora is in a bad way and there's little hope that she'll pull through. Nora's agent Bryan Lourd tells ABC News that she has leukemia.

TMZ is hearing that Nora isn't expected to make it through the night. After Liz found the delete button and took down Nora's obit, she told THR that Nora's son told her they are making funeral plans for Thursday.

Nora's been nominated for three Oscars for her scripts for Sleeping in Seattle, When Harry Met Sally... and Silkwood. She also wrote and directed Bewitched, Julie & Julia, You've Got Mail and many more movies your mom watches on Hallmark channel while wiping away her tears with her cat's tail. (Okay, that sentence is still factually correct if you switch out "your mom" for "Michael K" and "her tears with her cat's tail" for "his tears with his dog's tail." But it was an emotional time for me. Stop judging).

Hopefully, Nora is comfortable, has lots of morphine and is being entertained by Meg Ryan's fake orgasm yodels.

Well, if I'm going to give you some shitty news I might as well do it while giving you a picture of Jack Osbourne's French Bulldog making a sad face while trapped in a baby bjorn. It's true that shitty news isn't as shitty when delivered with a French Bulldog in a baby bjorn. Doctors say!

26-year-old Jack Osbourne tells People that just two weeks after his fiancee gave birth to their first kid, a girl named Pearl Clementine, the happiness he felt from breathing in baby diarrhea and wiping baby drool from his shoulder was dimmed by shitty news from his doctor. Jack went in to see the doctor, because he lost 60% of his vision in his right eye. After the doctors ran tests, they told him that he has MS and that's the reason why he lost vision in his eye. Jack tells People that the timing couldn't have sucked more:

"I was just angry and frustrated and kept thinking, 'Why now?' I've got a family and that's what's supposed to be the most important thing. Then I got really sad for about two days, and after that I realized: 'Being angry and upset is not going to do anything at this point—if anything it's only going to make it worse.' 'Adapt and overcome' is my new motto."

Sharon Osbourne told Hello! that after she found out, she asked herself if it was something she ate while pregnant and wondered if it was her fault. Ozzy Osbourne said, "If it was me, you'd think: 'Ozzy had a reputation and it caught up with him', but Jack is such a good guy."

Jack's doctors put him on meds and he will undergo several holistic therapy treatments. Jack's also been told to zen out as much as possible, because stress can flare that shit up. (I guess that means Jack isn't going to watch any old episodes of his family's reality show, because watching that shit is a stressful experience. Worrying about which one of their ten thousand dogs is going to shit on the carpet next is stressful!) Jack should also watch A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes: The Annette Funicello, because it will soothe him to see that despite everything, Annette still has gorgeous eyebrows that look like shooting stars made of hair.

Rodney King was found dead in the backyard of his home in Rialto, CA early this morning. For those of you young hos who are like, "Who's Rodney King?" Please tell your 7th grade history teacher to give a long lesson on the 1991 brutal police beating of Rodney King, which lead to an acquittal, which led to the massive L.A. Race Riots.

There's not a lot of confirmed details, but TMZ is on this hard and has heard a few things. Rodney's fiancee, Cynthia Kelley, is telling friends that he spent the entire day yesterday boozing and smoking weed at the house.  When she called it a night and went to bed at 2 this morning, Rodney was still drinking and was in a good mood. Then at around 5 this morning, Cynthia was awoken by Rodney's screams. She found Rodney naked and banging on the glass. Cynthia asked him what was wrong before she ran to grab her phone, to call 911 presumably. Cynthia then heard a splash and she ran to the backyard. Cynthia found Rodney lying at the bottom of the pool. The paramedics showed up and were unable to bring Rodney back. Rodney was only 47 years old.

After the riots and a federal trial in 1993, which ended with two of the officers found guilty, Rodney King was in a bad way. Rodney battled addiction and was arrested a couple of times. In 2009, Rodney was on both Celebrity Rehab and Sober House, and to me came across as a nice, quiet, sad, troubled (I hate that word too, but I couldn't think of another one) guy who really wanted to get his shit together.

Oh, and if you haven't been to Facebook today, you might want to stay away unless you really want to see a dozen statutes that say: "Can't all just..." you know the rest.

Rest in peace, Rodney King.

Wear your shoulder pads at half mast and dramatically drop your black fishnet veil over your face, because Nolan Miller, the genius responsible for defining 1980's glamour, passed away in his sleep on Wednesday night from cancer at the age of 79. You know how your mother wore a drapey green lamé cocktail dress to her job's Christmas party, because Alexis Carrington wore something similar on Dynasty? Nolan designed that look your mother was trying to achieve. (Oh, and yes, I was talking to myself in those last two sentences.)

Nolan's friend and muse Joan Collins broke the sad news on Twitter about his death on Thursday morning. Joan also said a few touching words about Nolan to The Hollywood Reporter and it's best if you picture her saying this while lying on a mountain of gowns Nolan designed for her and crying into a crystal goblet of champagne and diamonds.

"He was a huge part of my life. He was an innovator and helped define fashion through his lifelong contributions. His legacy is enormous and not only me but every one who knew him will miss the humor warmth and joy he gave generously. He was a rare gem - one of the truly good human beings in this world - and I am simply devastated he is gone."

Nolan received 6 Emmy nominations for the costumes he designed for Dynasty. Nolan also designed costumes for T.J. Hooker, Hotel and The Colbys. Last year, he retired from QVC after designing a jewelry collection and Dynasty-inspired clothing line for them for 20 years.

Nolan Miller is now up in heaven, designing the perfect power suits for the angels to wear while they take  over each other's companies. Rest in place, Nolan Miller.

And click here for the ultimate Alexis Carrington in Nolan Miller tribute.

Richard Dawson, the original host of Family Feud, has gone up to the fast money round in the sky at the age of 79. Richard's son, Gary Dawson, posted the news on Facebook (via LAT) and said that his father passed away last night from cancer.

"It is with a very heavy heart that I inform you that my father passed away [Saturday] evening from complications due to esophageal cancer. He was surrounded by his family. He was an amazing talent, a loving husband, a great dad and a doting grandfather. He will be missed but always remembered."

Before Richard made "R U SERIOUS?" faces at dumb as shit contestants on Family Feud, he was on Hogan's Heroes, Laugh-In, The New Dick Van Dyke Show and Match Game. Match Game led to Family Feud, which won him a Daytime Emmy for Best Game Show Host. Richard also played an evil parody version of himself in The Running Man.

And now Richard is up in heaven, dry kissing the lady angels. I bet he's slipping some of them the tongue. I mean, it is heaven after all. Survey says: Rest in peace, Richard Dawson.

Kathryn Joosten, who played Karen McKluskey to eye rolling perfect on Desperate Housewives, is now up in heaven after passing away from lung cancer in Westlake Village, CA yesterday. Mrs. McKluskey also died of cancer during the finale of Desperate Housewives. Art imitating real-life sadness. Kathryn was 72.

Those of you who watched The West Wing also know Kathryn as the President's secretary Mrs. Landingham. TVLine says that Kathryn didn't start her acting career until she was 42, but she quickly filled up her IMDB page with roles in Scrubs, Roseanne, Dharma & Greg, Joan of Arcadia, Buffy, My Name Is Earl and dozens of other shows.

Kathryn's rep says that she was surrounded by her family before she passed.

Mrs. McKluskey was one of my favorite characters on DH (yes, I watched that mess till the very painful end), because she didn't let children fuck with her, perfected the art of the eye roll, was nosy as all hell and regularly verbally slapped a trick down with the truth. We should all hope to be just like that when we enter the Metumacil phase of our lives. Rest in peace, Mrs. McKluskey.