Night Crumbs

How many people do you think went up to Winona Ryder at this TIFF event and were like, "Please ask me, 'Did you suck his cock?' " It's really better than getting her to autograph a picture in Veronica's name - Celebitchy

Angie Jolie's holy eyebrow situation will save the refugees - Lainey Gossip

Hayden Pantyairs looking like Roxie Hart in a troll production of Chicago - Hollywood Tuna 

That baby goat deserves a full spread in Allure more than Blake NotSoLively does - Drunken Stepfather 

Nick Gruber is like the Kendra of bis. He's trying to make a whole career out of sexing on an old dude for two seconds - Towleroad

The permanently pregnant Camila Alves is still pregnant - Popoholic

Duchess Kate wore a pretty dress and shook some hands in Singapore today, so basically she did what she does every day but did it around a bunch of Asian people instead - Popsugar

Zac Efron is okay with the rumors that he replaces his lip gloss with a hard peen sometimes - ICYDK

Emma Watson's silicone nipple shield will not be ignored - The Superficial 

And we all want to punch Billy Ray Cyrus for giving us Miley - Hollywood Rag

How the molten block of ice in Pimp Mama Kris' chest came to be - OMG Blog

Jambi the Genie wore it better - Just Jared

In other words, Blake Lively wants you to know that she's always doing it bareback-style with the Green Lantern - IDLYITW

The main reason why I just screamed "Kiss him on the mouth!" 20-something times - The Berry 

Shaq really hasn't been the same since he dropped Hoopz - Crunk + Disorderly

The Dawg hasn't been sent to the pound after all - I'm Not Obsessed

I woke up today hoping for pictures of Bubba Sparkxxx in a two piece, but I guess I'll take Jordin Sparks in a two piece instead - Cityrag

Proof that Today's executive producer is Lucifer - SOW

The Silver Fox said on his show today that everyone has known he's here for the peen and now everyone really knows he's here for the peen, so we can all get back to more important things like warming our souls on his giggles and wondering if he sent Ben MESSani down the firehouse pole for getting caught sucking on a side trick's face - Towleroad

ScarJo and Jordan Catalano (who's back to fighting the hot with a hobo beard) hold hands, look absolutelyfuckingbored while doing so - Lainey Gossip 

Christian Bale needs to stop warming the pile of frozen coal in my chest - The Superficial 

Elle Fanning is sweaty and I'm just going to say that's from standing so close to Christina Hendricks' magnificent chichis - Hollywood Tuna 

The Pregnant Midge doll looks more human-like than Holly Madison does - Drunken Stepfather

Skip down to the fourth picture and tell me if Lil' Kim's lace front is eating her face or not - The Berry 

Attention whore Brand Glandville shoves herself into attention whore LeAnn Rimes' latest drama - Celebitchy

It's never a nice day for a CaCa wedding - Just Jared

Some people use Kim Kardashian's sex tape to fall to sleep, Kanye used it to get hard - IDLYITW

And yet that homeless dude looks hotter and poses better than those tricks - Hollywood Rag

Lena Dunham chopped her hair off and now looks like one of the Lost Boys from Peter Pan - ICYDK

"We're here fighting against cancer, but our thoughts are also with Kim Kardashian, because she has it worse!" - said everybody at this cancer benefit - Popoholic

Jennifer Lawrence's Katniss hair is back - Cityrag

Leonardo DiCatchAHo's latest leased piece from VS makes that money - Popsugar

Oh, don't bother Matthew Perry, he's just housesitting for Jennifer Aniston again - SOW

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY? - I'm Not Obsessed

If you've always wanted to know what it looks like when two trains collide head on, just stare at these pictures of Janice Dickinson's face slipping off her head as she does gross things with James Deen - The Superficial 

Jeremy Renner's mystery piece looks like she was made with parts from Shenae Grimes, Rachel Uchitel and Kate from Lost - Lainey Gossip

Harold & Kumar go to the OTHER White Castle (sort of) - Towleroad

You won't see Obama screaming at an imaginary Clint Eastwood sitting on a wood chair at the DNC this week - Celebitchy

Crazy whore at Crazy Horse - Hollywood Tuna 

Meanwhile, Brenda Walsh was also in a bikini while hosting Education Connection's end of summer school pool party at the Comfort Inn - Drunken Stepfather

Is Channing Tatum making that "forever alone troll" face on purpose? - The Berry 

Keira Knightley's dress looks like an STD rash you'd get from humping sea coral - Popsugar

Kristen Stewart on how hard it is being Kristen Stewart, part 598,853 - Just Jared

Minka Kelly goes back to Chris Klein and this time she brought a very special gift Derek Jeter gave her - ICYDK

Your nana's nightgown: Jessica Biel wore it - Popoholic

Two words: ticklish meerkat - Cityrag

Michael Strahan makes his debut as Kelly Ripa's perma co-host and if he keeps hugging her like that, he's going to snap her toothpick body one day - I'm Not Obsessed

I'm mad that this isn't a post about the Victoria Jackson who makes make-up - Videogum

If you squint, you can almost see the tip of a unicorn's horn sitting on RPattz's down low enchanted forest - OMG  Blog

Kelly Osbourne shit her panties and blamed it on her self-tanner - Hollywood Rag 

(Pic via Pacific Coast News) 

"Don't look to the left don't look to the left don't look to the left...." - Lady CaCa's dog as she tooted a doody bubble out - Drunken Stepfather

At the Venice Film Festival today, Donatella Versace shed a layer of her lizard skin, bedazzled it, threw it on Kate Hudson's body and called it fashion! - Lainey Gossip 

The adorable moment before a wild koala mauls you for sticking a camera in its face - Towleroad

When Sonja Morgan said that Carole Radziwill did Clooney for a year, I thought she was talking about Rosemary! - Celebitchy

Selena Gomez shows us what candy stripers wear in Oz - Hollywood Tuna 

John Mayer dumped Katy Perry exactly the way you'd expect John Mayer to dump someone - The Superficial 

Either Anne Hathaway's dude is giving her the hipster Heimlich maneuver or they're paying tribute to Kristen Stewart by doing tbutt-to-crotch out in the open - Popoholic

I see Reese Witherspoon wearing the top my mom bought at the border in Tijuana - Popsugar

Ryan Gosling and Christine Hendricks, together at last (again) - Just Jared

The beauty in the yellow circle really is my idol today - Crunk + Disorderly

MiniDonks! - Cityrag

None of us need to go to the gym today, because David McIntosh is working out enough for all of us - The Berry 

Methinks this is pretty much what it looks like when a Duggar baby slides out of Michelle's birth tunnel - Videogum

Kelly Taylor is wearing a Brenda Walsh outfit and I don't like it - I'm Not Obsessed

Heidi Klum and Seal should just give full custody to Uncle Tim Gunn. It's for the best. - ICYDK

Calvin Klein's ex-toy got a new sugar daddy - OMG Blog

File under "Not Sure If I Want": Current day Leonardo DiCaprio in an orgy scene - Hollywood Rag

The Texas T-Rex's skinniness is due to him losing a bunch of weight to play a man with AIDS. The Texas T-Rex's gorgeously blown out hair is due to the stylist's fascination with Jamie from Small Wonder's hair - The Berry 

Today's rock bottom moment is brought to you by me staring at a picture of Cameron Diaz for a good 45 seconds to see if she's got camel toe - Lainey Gossip

Since Dr. Blossom doesn't want that Vicodin prescription, can she please pass it this way? - The Superficial 

How to get Novak Djokovic to hug you: Be a 10-year-old boy and ask him to marry you - Towleroad

Don't you hate it when you're trying to turn tricks on the stroll in Hawaii and the paps keep bothering you? Bai Ling feels your pain - Hollywood Tuna 

Speaking of aliens, Emma Stone looks like one in Interview - Drunken Stepfather

Everyone hates Matt Lauer - Celebitchy

Drew Barrymore still has a case of the BABIES! - Just Jared

RPattz should turn his house into a mental home for heartbroken Twihards - ICYDK

Well, I guess "that person" is a little better than "that bitch" - OMG Blog

What are you staring at, Amber Heard's dog? I'm not the one with a pink bow on my head! - Popoholic

"Fame! I want to live forever......or until Nigel Lythgoe decides to do a remake of Fame and then I just want to curl up into a ball and die" - SOW

Bar Rafaeli is Jesus - Hollywood Rag 

Amanda Seyfried goes struttin' with her new dude - Popsugar

Glum Cunt Mel being Glum Cunt Mel - Cityrag

Dominic Purcell looks like he just got out of prison or like he's taking a break from his job as a bouncer at a gay leather club - Moe Jackson 

One of the reasons why we should forgive Tom Hanks for Chet Haze - I'm Not Obsessed

Thank you to Paper and Ezra Miller for showing us what Bjork looks like when she drags herself out of her oxygen chamber to take her kids to school in the morning - Just Jared

Somewhere Johnny Depp is sighing with relief, because his douche-alike John Mayer finally chopped his greasy mop. And somewhere in Santa Fe, a grandma is filing a police report, because John Mayer stole her necklace. - Lainey Gossip

LeAnn Rimes looks like a traumatized and malnourished gecko who just looked at itself in the mirror - Cityrag

"The defense calls President Obama to the stand!" - Amanda Bynes while representing herself in her hit-and-run case - The Superficial 

Some Mormon-owned NBC affiliate in Salt Lake City is refusing to air The New Normal, because it has gay people in it or because Mormons are strictly on Team Sheree - Towleroad

Katy Perry's wearing a rosary and some big chonies, and all she needs is a chancla and she'd be one step closer to completing her Catholic abuelita look - Hollywood Tuna 

Double the displeasure, double fug - Drunken Stepfather

Where was bumper car champion Amanda Bynes when we really needed her? - The Berry 

Angie Jolie uses "Dragon's Blood" when rubbing the menstrual fluid of virgin orphans on her face doesn't quite give her skin the glow she's looking for - Celebitchy

If you get mouth kissed by a stranger today, send your bill for Zovirax cream to Anna Faris and Chris Pratt - ICYDK

MiserAlba has the same hair color as every one of my Salvadoran cousins who played with a bottle of Sun-In and lost - Popoholic

Ciara becomes the face of the most exclusive house of beauty in Flatbush - Crunk + Disorderly

Hilary Duff's baby is not happy about being forced to wear those booties - I'm Not Obsessed

I bet that tramp Duchess Kate has been teaching PHG how to cook - Hollywood Rag

The Texas T-Rex is shrinking - Popsugar

Ron Paul is the new Marky Mark - Videogum

Tom Daley half-naked in motion - OMG Blog

Katy Perry and John Mayer's true love romance ended after only 3 months of casual sexing, but at least she'll always have the occasional outbreak to remember him by.... - Lainey Gossip

I'm going to assume that Kristen Dunst's necklace is a special message for orthodontists - The Superficial 

The Bow Wow doth protest too much - Towleroad

When England's Finest Rose dresses up as She-Hulk, her chichis look like giant green Sixlets - Hollywood Tuna 

Another reason why I can't with LeAnn Rimes. Instead of taking yet another dumb bikini picture of herself, ho should be using that Falcor mouth to swallow the delicious open bar behind her - Drunken Stepfather

Happy Panty Creamer Fridays! - The Berry 

Finally, a lezzie thriller starring The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and Regina George - Just Jared

Speaking of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Lenny Kravitz still dresses like her - I'm Not Obsessed

Things that are probably not true but I wish were: Jessica Lange and Sarah Paulson are bumping coochies - Celebitchy

So this is why alien sightings in Waikiki have jumped up by 100% - Popoholic

More like "Kristen Stewart is trying to find inner peace within her bong" - Hollywood Rag

Stephen Baldwin got arrested - ICYDK

I'm sure Obama will get on this as soon as he finishes firing that cop who arrested Amanda Bynes - Crunk + Disorderly

Why do I have a feeling that hundreds of Ryan Gosling fangirls are going to give this picture of his dog to their hairstylists and say, "Give me this! He'll finally love me if my hair looks like this!" - Popsugar

Don't be surprised if the #1 song on iTunes this weekend is Legitimate Rape by The Renegade Raging Grannies - Videogum

Why didn't Jennifer Love Hewitt include pictures of the play wedding chapel in her backyard, because that's a selling feature - Cityrag

Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher went to a Dodgers game last night. If you're wondering why Mila looks so bored, it's because she's giving Ashton a handy. You'd be bored too. - Lainey Gossip

I guess Kristin Davis just couldn't get over Aaron Sorkin always smelling like random twat - Celebitchy

But if sloth-human marriage becomes legal before same-sex marriage becomes legal everywhere, Kristen Bell is so marrying a sloth anyway - Towleroad

The porn star who claims he had a threesome with Kim Kuntrashian completely lost me at "seemed bright" - The Superficial 

Vintage Brooke Burke - Hollywood Tuna 

Irina Shayk must be thinking to herself, "Lying on satin sheets is so much better than lying on Crispy  Ronaldo's deep fried leather skin." - Drunken Stepfather

Ceiling Eyes shows us how many paparazzi agencies she called to take pictures of her non-factor ass. Only one showed. - Popoholic

Why wouldn't I be surprised if Nick Stahl was the mess who robbed the other mess that is Edward Furlong? - ICYDK

What the Can't Hardly Wait cast looks like today - The Berry 

Alanis Morrissette's son isn't crying, he's just reacting to the video of Alicia Silverstone bird feeding her kid - I'm Not Obsessed

Andrew Garfield is either kissing Emma Stone or a ghost in sunglasses - Popsugar

Big deal, the Kuntrashians have been tricking the public into thinking that they're famous for years - OMG Blog

Somewhere, Paula Deen is rubbing her biscuit all over the trailer for Butter - SOW

More like, "People are terrified of using Kim's potty because they don't want to end up on the CDC's most wanted list"  - Hollywood Rag

Ryan Lochte spit out more insightful words of wisdom, but he was probably nervous from being in the presence of greatness (see: Bernadette Peters and that dog) so I'll let it slide - Just Jared

But where is the "Mariah licked this" tattoo that Eminem has on his taint? - Cityrag

Eva Mendes is all ready for a hot night at the Regal Beagle - Celebslam

(Pic via ONTD)

Squirtin' pits? CHECK! See-through shirt worn as a dress? CHECK! Thong panties? CHECK! Fightin' titties that look like they're trying to get away from each other? CHECK! Hair that says "I don't give a shit, I'm still getting paid"? CHECK! That ole' yoga tortoise Russell Simmons really knows how to pick the most genteel flower in the garden!  - The Superficial

If you're wondering why it looks like Matthew McConaughey is having a really hilarious conversation with an imaginary giant banana sitting on that bench next to him, it's because he's stoned out of his skull. He's stoned. - Lainey Gossip

But why does it look like Lincoln is having a deep through while sitting on the toilet? - Towleroad

Dear neighbor who sometimes peeks into my window as I'm dancing to an Eden's Crush song, please don't look now, because I'm about to lick the screen - The Berry 

Danica Thrall really does look like my first boyfriend in drag. I would. - Hollywood Tuna 

You know those commercials where you're screaming "Why are you covered in so many clothes things?!" at the screen the entire time? This is one of those commercials. - Celebitchy

Not sure what the point of this awkward Denise Richards bikini photo shoot is, but here it is - Drunken Stepfather

Hugh Hefner is all for gay marriage - OMG Blog

Mena Suvari should check to make sure that her pocket piece isn't a member of Snooki's tribe, because I'm pretty sure he is - ICYDK

This is me almost every Friday night when I get beyond baked and forget how the whole "taking a bath" thing works - Cityrag

Is Mary-Louise Parker's dress smokeable, because that's the only reason to wear that ugly thing - Popoholic

In the first picture, Miranda Kerr's chichis look like they're slipping down her torso - Popsugar

IN THIS ECONOMY, it's nice to see that Mimi is saving some pennies by recycling her old outfits from the Honey video - Crunk + Disorderly

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY-TED IT! - I'm Not Obsessed

Sacha Baron Cohen just found his next character - Videogum

Funny thing, Nicki Minaj's perfume bottle looks more human than the thing it's modeled after - Hollywood Rag

These kids need to get it together - SOW

Michael Strahan will probably be Kelly Ripa's permanent co-host on Live! and you can tell this is a good match, because he can fit her entire toothpick body in that gap of his - Just Jared

Add this to your James McAvoy Lifting Things Tumblr - Lainey Gossip

Well, I've always said that the best way to get your political point across is to sing it while your nipples are out, so this works for me - Towleroad

Blake Lively will not get her tits out in a movie, thankyouverymuch, so the only way you'll ever see her tits is if you Google "Blake Lively's tits" - Celebitchy

Carmen Electra wears a sad face and a weave bra for Lovecat Magazine - Hollywood Tuna 

January Jones' new dude looks like a pre-plastic surgery Carrot Top and WHAT ARE THOSE JEANS?! - The Superficial 

Draco Malfoy's Tennessee twin wants you to see her bra - Drunken Stepfather

What GOOPY Paltrow is trying to say is that the deeper the stick goes up your ass, the more radiant your skin looks! - ICYDK

Oh look, Kristen Stewart looks as miserable post-scandal as she did pre-scandal - Popsugar

In case you're wondering, Lea Michele is still as annoying as a mosquito bite on your b-hole - The Berry 

Everyone involved in this needs to have a seat over there. The worst part is that I won't ever be able to enjoy a delicious oversized lollipop without thinking about a Brawny man-looking creeper in a sleeveless tuxedo shirt making childtouching eyes at me - Videogum

Panty Creamer of the Century: Billy Ocean - Crunk + Disorderly

Mitt Romney loves Mom Jeans - Cityrag

Ricki Lake's jacked up outfit would make sense to you if I told you that she's on her way to the Mystery Machine van - I'm Not Obsessed

Kelly Brook conjured up new layers of elegance and sophistication with her butt crack gown - Moe Jackson 

Cher is going for husband #3 - Hollywood Rag

R.I.P. The Office - SOW