Night Crumbs

Winona Ryder looks like the kind of bar skank who will stumble out of a dark alley to beg you for a cigarette and what I'm trying to say is that this is her hottest look ever - Hollywood Tuna 

"Hey Barry O, it's your girl B, listen the Trademark Office actually said NO to us, so if you... You'll fire the entire office and then burn it down the ground? Thank you!" - Beyonce to President Obama - Lainey Gossip 

Like Pimp Mama Kris is really going to let Kanye West propose without being surrounded by a script, several camera crews and a reporter from every tabloid - The Superficial 

RiRi's busted hair looks like it was cut by Edward Scissorhands if Edward Scissorhand's scissor hands were covered in rust - Drunken Stepfather

Falcor Rimes' Woe Is Me tour has taken her to Katie Couric's show - Celebitchy

Bush scares the dick out of people in Central Park and for once I'm not talking about Dubya - Towleroad

That's not how you use Sharper Image's massage chair, Megan Fox. You're supposed to lube your naked body up and lie on it belly-side down - Popoholic

Kate Bosworth and her skinny piece are really good at high-fiving - The Berry 

Selena Gomez is just uptight, because she's always up all night burping and wiping Justin Bieber's ass. (Yes, you read that right. She burps his ass) - ICYDK

DRUNK BITCHES - Popsugar

Mark Sanchez and Eva Longoria are done with fucking each other - Just Jared

I don't know who Cousin Matthew is, but I'm just going to say that Mama June's Forklift Foot should replace him. It can do a British accent. - Videogum

This is the kind of light show magic that happens when an OCDer goes on a meth binge - OMG Blog 

I read this as "Fist Iron Man" and the images in my head were a million times better than the trailer - IDLYITW

CaCa goes green - I'm Not Obsessed

If the Scarecrow, the Cowardly Lion and the Wicked Witch of the West all smashed into each other - Cityrag

Prepare to get splashed in the eyes with a tidal wave of foreskin grease, because here's Sean Penn looking like a shriveled up Mickey Rourke - Lainey Gossip

Chestica Simpson has been working out and you can tell by her peen head-looking calves - The Superficial 

BUT WHO IS SANJAYA VOTING FOR?!. - Towleroad

Natalie Portman shows us the kind of titty magic that can happen with a good push-up bra and some duct tape - Hollywood Tuna 

Emily VanCamp in GQ - Drunken Stepfather

Chace Crawford is all creamed up. Just a regular night for him - The Berry 

Jackie Collins spills the tea on why Matt Bomer isn't Superman - Celebitchy

Jessica Biel's ring looks like the one I made as a kid using a beer bottle cap and a garbage bag tie - Just Jared 

Ke$hit finally found a boyfriend with the same IQ as hers - ICYDK

Community is really trying to make you forget about Chevy Chase's latest meltdown - Popoholic

Alicia Keys is on fire and I think it has everything to do with the genital warts she caught from Swizz Beak - Cityrag

What's more interesting? TimberBiel or those hot yellow airport chairs? - Popsugar

Looking at Bruce Willis' peen head has mean wondering about what ever happened to Jane March - (NSFW) OMG Blog 

Timothy Dalton looks like this now - SOW

Willow Smith looking like an Emo runaway - I'm Not Obsessed

Our Lady of Cheetos will be a beautiful December bride - Hollywood Rag 

"I'd hit it" says everyone who regularly searches the internet for naked pictures of David Crosby - Videogum

Sarah Michelle Gellar was nice enough to let Freddie Prinze Jr. out of the garage for a couple of hours so he could breathe in fresh air, but then it was back to being chained to the water heater for him - SOW

Benedict Cumsinbatches needs to win a tube of lip chap, because those lips are looking all kinds of cracked - Lainey Gossip

#30 looks like he's got a tiny bubble butt (or a pumpkin) on his arm. Happy Shirtless Friday! - The Berry 

Get regular again by staring at the Olsen twins as they pruuuuuune for the cameras - Hollywood Tuna

Mila Kunis should've ended her career here, because it can't get any better than starring in a Lisa Frank commercial - The Superficial 

Vanessa Hudgens should teach her little sister to do better than her and by that I mean she should teach her to not make duckface in cell phone pictures - Drunken Stepfather

Dear Katy Perry, let a ho be a ho - Celebitchy

The blondie on the left is totally like, "Zac Efron is the pretty princess I long to be" - Towleroad

Kate Bosworth's cup should be filled with Ensure - Popoholic

DILF Dennis Quaid is single again - ICYDK

Michael Bay is gently weeping into his white linen tunic while watching this elephant video - OMG Blog

Sarah Silverman's dad is not the one - IDLYITW

Ambular from Clueless got married and I'm pretty sure that dress is from Judy's - Popsugar

Fame Whores in Rome should be Kanye's next single - Just Jared

Lauren Conrad had a fan once - Hollywood Rag

Joanna Krupa meant to do this - I'm Not Obsessed

This makes me miss the glory days of The Slut Dress - Cityrag

TGIF! And if you don't look like Nicolas Cage (aka like ten shades of hell dragged through cold shit) tomorrow morning, then you didn't make it count! - Videogum

Aaron Taylor-Johnson's dick bush probably looks like luscious mop of curls usually found on a cherub's head - Lainey Gossip

If you drew eyes and a mouth with sketti sauce dribbling out of it on Kate Upton's right chichi, it would kind of look like Mama June - The Superficial 

Glamberace as a Glampire or Linda Dano as Prince? - Towleroad

Kate Hudson's tit looks like it's deflating and I'm blaming it all on that bedazzled horn - Hollywood Tuna 

Ke$hit looks a little like the drag queen Marilyn on Vibe Magazine. Gavin Rossdale would totally hit it and then lie about it to every magazine. - Drunken Stepfather

The picture of Tom Hanks, Halle Berry and Hugh Grant is way more interesting if you picture all of them fingering each other's b-holes - The Berry

Jon Hamm might've pulled a George Clooney on his longtime piece - Celebitchy

Fuggie Fug looks like a Lindsay Lohan clone and I'm not sure which one of them should be offended by that - ICYDK

Which is more confusing: The current state of Rose McGowan's face or her choosing to wear Spandex leggings with those shorts? - Popoholic

The new Django Unchained trailer is here - IDLYITW

Lindsay Lohan really has fucked every Tom, Dick and Harry (or has tried to anyway) - Hollywood Rag

How many umbrellas does it take to keep JLo's ego dry? - I'm Not Obsessed

Why didn't the Avengers movie have this in it?! - Cityrag

....Well, at least Katie Holmes' hair looks shiny - Popsugar

Except for Anne Hathaway, everyone looks like they're struggling to push out a caca - Just Jared

You know it's just a regular day on the set of a Terrence Malick movie when King Koopa's brother ruins a hug party between Michael Fassbender and Natalie Portman. No, I don't know what's going on here and I still won't know what's going on here after I see the movie. - The Superficial 

A spoiled little princess was turned into a dress by an evil watch and Blake Lively wore that dress to some Chanel event last night - Lainey Gossip

I hate myself for thinking that Sarah Palin is giving me Goddess Bunny vibes here - Celebitchy

Stephen Colbert and Morrissey should talk about asshole lambs and delicious murder all the time - Towleroad

If any Lawrence is going to be the face of Dior, it should've been Joey Lawrence - The Berry 

Jessa from Girls is showing all her bumps in Vice Magazine - (NSFW) Drunken Stepfather

Kevin James' face has to ruin everything - Hollywood Tuna 

I'm only here for that hot piece with Emma Stone - Popoholic

XTINA'S ASS. That is all. - IDLYITW

Pink gets all So You Think You Can Dance in her new video - ICYDK

You had it right the first time, Stevie Nicks - Just Jared

Ben Affleck should follow Matt Damon's lead and take a pair of clippers to that polyester wave on his head - Popsugar

Happy Hump Day, here's Jonathan Groff's crescent moon - (NSFWish) OMG Blog

This girl should open up an advice booth - Videogum

Some Hollywood exec told Mila Kunis her career would be over if she didn't pose for the cover of some magazine - Hollywood Rag

While LiLo and White Oprah scratch each other's fake tan off, Miley Cyrus and Tish Cyrus are doing some real mother-daughter bonding - Moe Jackson 

That dog should join the Olympic volleyball team - Cityrag

She-Pratt looks different - I'm Not Obsessed

(Pic via FameFlynet)

Nicole Kidman as Grace Kelly looks like Nicole Kidman with a good wig - Lainey Gossip

Emily Blunt might play Ms. Marvel in the next Avengers movie, but I'm still waiting for them to a Dazzler movie - The Superficial 

If you want to look graceful and glamorous while having a migraine, follow Salma Hayek's lead - Drunken Stepfather

Danny DeVito's wandering peen might've been the wang that broke his marriage's back - Celebitchy

Kelly Brook on Nuts (not like that) - Hollywood Tuna 

What Big Bird is really trying to say to the Obama campaign is, "Ho, I didn't get paid for this!" - Towleroad

Oh, yes, The Canyons is going to be a community college film school mess - IDLYITW

Former HSOTD Julia Gillard lets a trick have it - Jezebel

Heidi Klum is still doing her bodyguard - ICYDK

Somebody tell Jessica Biel that taking a stud gun to her old Thriller costume wasn't a good idea - Popoholic

Blond bangs are a privilege and not a right and Demi Lovato needs to know this - Just Jared

For once, Duchess Kate is the most clothed one in a picture! - Popsugar

Don't call David Furnish Elton John's "partner" - OMG Blog

"This tablet is so hot that it just give my co-host the vapors!"  - The Frisky 

All of this can be settled with a disco dance-off refereed by Gay Al Reynolds - Videogum

Why must the Louisiana trailer park flower kill me softly with her UGGs - Cityrag

Does this mean that Paula Abdul will have to learn how to count? - I'm Not Obsessed

If only mirrors had eyes to roll - Hollywood Rag

That is supposedly Jennifer Aniston's engagement ring and yes it's tacky and ugly and huge in a "LOOK AT ME! Somebody is actually marrying my ass and here's proof that's so big that even blind people and aliens hovering above Earth can see!" kind of way. Or maybe the joke's on Jen and that's just a Ring Pop.   - Lainey Gossip

Kristen Stewart finally speaks the truth about Kristen Stewart - The Superficial 

One Million Moms need to get laid a million different ways - Towleroad

Nicole ScherMINGEr is always dressed like a slutty high school senior going to her spring formal - Hollywood Tuna 

Not pictured: A herd of horses galloping toward Zahia Dehar to nom nom nom on the hay she's trying to pass off as hair - Drunken Stepfather

The Clueless reunion needs more Julie Brown - The Berry 

And then Bradley Cooper came back and gave Dita Von Teese a business card for the beard agency he uses. Bitch just needs to go through the correct channels, that's all. - Celebitchy

Was it really necessary to make Emmy Rossum look like Annette Bening in Bugsy? - Just Jared 

Jack Osbourne got his ass married - ICYDK

Olivier Martinez always looks like he's stoned as hell and trying to solve a calculus problem while taking a hard shit - Popoholic

Let's open a store in NYC called Beanies and Beards. We'll be RICH! - Popsugar

Kindly have a stadium full of seats, RiRi's dad - Hollywood Rag 

One of my aunties has that same ugly sun thing hanging over her puffy leather sofa - I'm Not Obsessed

Epic dogshaming - Cityrag

FLORIDA. Enough said. - Crunk + Disorderly

At least he didn't let out a 4-octave fart (I think) - OMG Blog

THIS again - IDLYITW

Sam Champion is gay and is marrying a man. (long pause) Welcome back, are you okay after falling on the floor from reading this shocking and surprising news? - Towleroad

Tracy Anderson scares me and I think I read in a book of folklore somewhere that she's the evil troll twin of Hayden Panettiere - Lainey Gossip

My TV is still covered in a quarantine tent from exposing it to Couples Therapy on Wednesday night - The Superficial 

This baby is so young and already has questionable taste - The Berry 

Binge eating, boozing, smoking all the time... Celebrities on the verge a mid-life crises are just like us! - Celebitchy

Oh, look what happened at the 1st Annual Bottom of the Barrel Porn Stars Convention - Drunken Stepfather

For the sake of humanity, please don't tell me JWoww is knocked up. Why isn't MTV spiking the Jacuzzi water with crushed up birth control pills and Spermicide? - Hollywood Tuna 

TGIF: Here's Rose McGowan's ass in leggings - Popoholic

Lukewarm water hates uncooked oatmeal - ICYDK

Can't Selena Gomez lay out Justin Bieber's clothes for him in the morning like every good mother does? - Popsugar

Eden from Nip/Tuck and that hot shaved Australian wolf from Prison Break are over - Just Jared

What kind of broke ass Kanye outfit is Miguel wearing? - Crunk + Disorderly

Nicole Scherzinger used to be bulimic - I'm Not Obsessed

Who said the line: "I should be a lesbian by the way that I look and the way that I am." Ryan Gaycrest or Pink? - Cityrag

A (sort of) celebrity was arrested in Texas and it wasn't for smuggling weed - Hollywood Rag

Yeah, Ben Affleck has a "wonder member" alright. Meaning that when he takes off his underwear, you wonder where his member is. - SOW

#whitepeople - OMG Blog

Can the text messages between Kristen Stewart and Rupert Sanders please leak, because I need new reading material to fall asleep to and you know that shit is a new kind of boring - IDLYITW

JLo is wearing a huge diamond ring on THAT finger, so let's all awwwww on the inside while thinking about Casper Smart buying her that token of his love using her Black Amex. I bet he asked the salesperson if he can get cash back too. Romance! - Lainey Gossip 

"Hello, Mandy Moore? Hey, it's Lindsay Lohan. I saw your nipples the other day and was wondering if they're sharp enough to cut through storefront glass? They are? Great! Meet me in front of Cartier!" - Hollywood Tuna 

A crazy whorse at Crazy Horse. Imagine that. - The Superficial 

Don't lose the lease on your condo, Stacy Keibler! - Celebitchy

2 ghouls, 1 Diva Cup (you decide which is which) - Drunken Stepfather

Strangely enough, "This is NOT Dawson's Crack" is what James Van Der Beek writes on the back of all his undies - Buzzfeed

Jenny McCarthy's new book is about growing up Catholic and speaking of Catholicism, I wish I had some holy water to throw at Jenny's plastic demon face - The Berry

Why is Kate Bosworth wearing the EXACT same (same size and everything) shorts as my favorite Cabbage Patch doll? - Popoholic

I think I'd rather drown than be saved by this - ICYDK

Donny Bonaduce's plastic surgery is finally starting to settle in - SOW

Helen Hunt's nipples are coming to a movie screen near you - Hollywood Rag

Does Lindsay Lohan have an alibi? - I'm Not Obsessed

Natalie Portman is still blonde and I'm still mistaking her for everyone but Natalie Portman - Just Jared

Lindsay Lohan was bullied. #itgetsWORSE  - IDLYITW

The Dopey Dwarf look is not working for Rachel Bilson - Cityrag

Anne Hathaway and her Ryan Gosling-with-a-pinched-face husband stroll through LAX - I'm Not Obsessed

Now that professional boxer Orlando Cruz has come out, can we please address his squiggly brows? - OMG Blog

The Trollsens went to lunch with Mary-Kate's French piece Olivier Sarkozy, and they both look like they're saying to themselves, "DAD! Stop trying to be cool by smoking. You're embarrassing us! GAWD!" - Lainey Gossip

With the shit Lifetime is putting out, it won't be long before they put out a James Dean biopic starring Justin Bieber - The Superficial 

New York's triumphant return to TV - Towleroad

Chris Crocker bottoms in a porn for the first time and this is where we all scream, "Leave Chris Crocker's butthole alooooooone" - Manhunt Daily

Amanda Bynes should hide her face for wearing those fug velcro wedges - Hollywood Tuna 

Aubrey Ho'Day keeps it demure and subtle as always - Drunken Stepfather

The rest of the pictures from Taylor Swift's Glamour spread sponsored by Adobe Photoshop - The Berry 

Fiona Apple shits on gossiping bitches for saying she looks like a Smeagol grandma on meth - Celebitchy

Adele's Bond song sounds like a Bond song by Adele - Just Jared

January Jones hates disabled people - ICYDK

And while GOOPY Paltrow kissed her husband, she thought about how she would rather be kissing her real love: her wood-burning outdoor pizza oven -Popsugar

What in the HELL kind of GD outfit is Christian Serratos wearing? - Popoholic

Bar Mitzvah Vogue boy comes back for an encore - OMG Blog

Cat Deeley got married - I'm Not Obsssed

Thirty Three Three-Legged Dogs! - Cityrag

Somewhere off camera, Pimp Mama Kris is screaming, "Do the position you did for Ray J that made you a star! Whore out, Louise!" - Celebslam

Halloween came early at the Gaultier show - Hollywood Rag