Night Crumbs

....And then Goddess CoCo's eighth world wonder ass swallowed the seat whole. RIP seat. It's in a better place now. - The Superficial

Jennifer Aniston and the Rockabilly Eddie Munster are in Rome now and the biggest story here is that her legs are denim-less - Lainey Gossip

Kim Kuntrashian looking like a beat down Joyce DeWitt on L'Uomo Vogue - The Berry

I hate my eyes for telling me this was Khloe Kardashian and not Sofia Vergara - Popoholic

Bitch, put some pants on! - Hollywood Tuna 

Derek Hough is totally making sexme eyes at the pool boy - (site NSFW) Drunken Stepfather

What I'm taking from this is that RiRi wants everyone to think she's a size 0 - Celebitchy

It is way too late in the week for a picture of fetus abs - ICYDK

"Bondage" is grateful for this - Celebslam

FYI: RiRi is rocking Chris Brown on her lap and putting his binky back in his cry hole every time he WAAAAHs it out - Hollywood Rag

"Is that your strap-on poking me in the back or are you just..." - George Clooney to Stacy Keibler - Popsugar

Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds went grocery shopping and didn't bring their own bags!!! CITIZEN'S ARREST THEIR ASSES! - Just Jared

And yet, Charlie Sheen's first time sounds more romantic than mine - I'm Not Obsessed

Jaime King's dress looks like every one of my Mac screensavers threw up on it - Go Fug Yourself

This kid knows - Videogum

I wish this was Charo, but it's obviously JLo - Cityrag

And thanks to J. Harvey for covering shit, including Lindsay Lohan being "exhausted" (read: hungover and pilled out), while I was off getting my teeth de-grossified at the Hazmat Dentistry.

ASkars is the face of Calvin Klein "Encounter" and please tell me that mess comes in a lube version too - Just Jared

The pictures of Stacy Keibler and George Clooney in the car together are hilarious in a "she's begging to be pet and he's trying to ignore her" kind of way - Lainey Gossip

Unless Miley Cyrus is planning to cut herself with her nipples, I'm pretty sure she's just holding a bracelet - The Superficial

Doogie Howser is un-punk-able - Towleroad

That certified lunatic from The Bachelor takes a page out of Heidi Montag's staged bikini pics playbook - (site NSFW) Drunken Stepfather

About that butterfly mask Michael Jackson made Paris Jackson wear.... - The Berry

Kelly Preston, the Female Empress of Scientology, would never - Celebitchy

Blake Lively's British face twin graces the cover of FHM with her bottom titty elegance - Hollywood Tuna

Some words of wisdom from Olivia Wilde - IDLYITW

"My job is SO exciting" said not one paparazzo while taking pictures of bland ass Minka Kelly - Popoholic

How many Kansas City-style barbecue stains will be on Brit Brit's white dress at the end of the day? - Popsugar

How many faces is Fergie on now? I lost count. - Moe Jackson

When a polar bear is sick of your staring eyes - Videogum

Breaking: Vivica Fox retires her lace front for now - Crunk + Disorderly

Die Antwoord once again transforms your last acid trip into a music video - Cityrag

Pull out the bongos, the Texas T-Rex is getting hitched - I'm Not Obsessed

Zoe Ensalada (that's how I read that headline) is at the park - Hollywood Rag

Harper Seven officially weighs more than Posh. But that's not saying much since even that candy baton in H7's hand weighs more than Posh - Lainey Gossip

Can this be the gay DC superhero instead of Green Lantern? - Towleroad

Now the Gotti producers have more room in the budget to fulfill the part in John Travolta's rider that demands a closet full of male massage therapists with strong stomachs - The Superficial

The time I mistook Miley Cyrus for a rode hard Maria Menounos - (site NSFW) Drunken Stepfather

My thoughts are with those who had to sit in the same bar with annoying twat John Mayer and fellow annoying twat Taylor Swift - Celebitchy

Chestica comes out in a big way - Hollywood Tuna

JLove also looks like she dropped herself in a tub of Tang - Popoholic

Urkel is looking AWFUL - Popsugar

RIP Jewel's snag toof - IDLYITW

These pictures would make more sense if the headline said "Dan Cortese went to the beach" - Celebslam

"And to think, I used to wake up with my ass on ASkars' face" is probably what Kate Bosworth said the morning these pictures were taken, because she thinks that every morning - ICYDK

Magic City man ass alert - OMG Blog

Selena Gomez shows off her B- eyebrow game in Elle - Cityrag

The Silver Fox drags Amanda Bynes - I'm Not Obsessed

But the real tragedy here is that Tinkerbell spent 10 hours on her makeup and her brows still look like that - Videogum

Kellan Lutz covered his nipples with cloth and the world kept spinning. Weird. - The Berry

If we didn't know Drew Barrymore was knocked up (since she's never told us, rude!), this picture would look like the photographer caught her and her new husband having an intimate "pushing the gas out" moment - ICYDK

I was expecting Miley Cyrus' engagement ring to be made out of squirrel bones and a mood stone - Lainey Gossip 

Charlie Sheen has a foot fetish, wants to bone Denise Richards again and looks like something you'd find passed out in the last stall in the Port Authority men's bathroom - The Superficial 

Cut to 15 years from now when Channing Tatum's career has dried up and he has to pay his mortgage by twerking his ass cheeks in a Chippendales show: "It's good to be back!" - Towleroad

Tammy Lynn Michaels IS getting money, bitch - Celebitchy

Oh, AnnaLynne McCord is just sucking on a popsicle in a bikini while at the beach by herself and no this isn't a completely staged and set up photo op - Hollywood Tuna

Three seconds after this picture was taken, a bird flew by and Christian Bale bitched it out for ruining his fucking shot - The Berry 

Kate Upton giving us "young Anna Nicole Smith" glamour. Oh yeah, and she's also giving us a whole lot of chiiiiiiiichiiiiis - Popoholic

How many times do you think a ho was like, "Oh, that bag has her name on it!" - IDLYITW

If you close your eyes tight and massage a mound of dough while listening to this video, you'll know how John Travolta's massage therapist feels - OMG Blog

Leonardo DiCatchAHo and his piece of the moment go bike riding in NYC - Popsugar

Madge really needs to stop letting Baby Brahim pick out her clothes - Just Jared

And I'm sure there's a bidet right next to Justin Bieber's potty training toilet - Celebslam

I'm sure Sheree has a dirt patch Kim Zolciak can stay on for a while - Crunk + Disorderly

That is one fancy looking pacifier - SOW

Jennifer Aniston is a plushie - Cityrag

Reading this as "Kim Kardashian puts make up on her no-no" makes more sense - Hollywood Rag

As Arnold Schwarzenegger would say, "Sheryl Crow had a tumaaaaaaaaah" - I'm Not Obsessed

I really hope Lifetime markets the soon-to-be cinematic train wreck Liz & Dick as a madcap comedy. And I don't know that much about Liz & Dick, but I'm pretty sure they didn't suffer from chronic constipation. - The Superficial

Sharpen your shank sharper: Your imaginary boyfriend is calling THAT BITCH his "girlfriend" - Lainey Gossip

Kate Winslet emoting "strung out after a 6-day bender" glamour on Vanity Fair Italia - Celebitchy

Miley Cyrus walking down the street and she's either thinking about dick cake, weed or smoking weed out of a dick cake - Hollywood Tuna

Scary Spice's torso is insane - (site NSFW) Drunken Stepfather

I have a feeling this paperized Prometheus might be better than the real thing - Towleroad

Lady in the background wearing the fanny pack > Rosie Huntington-Whateverly - Popoholic

When the lady behind a Teen Mom Mess says everything that needs to be said with her face - ICYDK

Duchess Kate looks like a lace cookie - Popsugar

Lady CaCa and Taylor Kinney are bumping b-holes again - Just Jared

Lisa Rinna plumps her nipple knobs up with collagen too, right? - Celebslam

I'd be so mad if I was having breakfast fruit and some nosy ass giraffe tried to get him some - The Berry

Eva Amurri forgot to wear her wavy weave, obviously - Moe Jackson

The only pussy Joe Jonas knows to handle - SOW

Shakira might be knocked up - I'm Not Obsessed

RPattz doesn't want muscles - Hollywood Rag

That's not a tattoo, that's a syphilis rash - Cityrag

Anne Hathaway messed up her arm, so now she looks even more like a sickly street urchin boy. But I do love that she's bringing the choker back. - Lainey Gossip

Things that should be a Tumblr: Hot dudes in hats - The Berry

For the none of you who didn't already know, Andrew Rannells of Book of Mormon is gay - Towleroad

Will RiRi just change her name to Rita Ora Jr. already and get it over with? - (site NSFW) Drunken Stepfather

Christian Bale and Drew Barrymore went out on a date once - Celebitchy

That dehydrated mango slice has some big chichis - Hollywood Tuna

Either Kim Kardashian is melodramatic as all hell or those sunglasses were made of plutonium - The Superficial

For why is Kristen Stewart dressed like the slutty secretary at a Catholic school? - Popoholic

FYI: Afrojack is in post-Wonky quarantine now - ICYDK

And as soon as Fishsticks Paltrow got home, she burned her shoes in the garden pizza oven, because their bottoms touched the footprints of the poors! - Popsugar

Adam Levine humped on a lot of vagina because he likes vagina - Just Jared

I'm surprised JLo didn't make Casper Smart tattoo her face on his peen so she can basically sucks herself off - OMG Blog

Will Smith brings his secret lovah to Monaco - Crunk + Disorderly

Travel down the memory lane of beauty with Real Housewives of New Jersey's Rosie - Cityrag

JLove has refined tastes when it comes to gourmet cuisine - Celebslam

And yet, the greatest singing competition of our time, WB Superstar USA has never gotten a second season... - Videogum

Bobbi Kristina has an I QUIT THIS BITCH moment on Tyler Perry's new show - I'm Not Obsessed

Slash is done with Guns 'N Roses FOREVER - Hollywood Rag

NOTE: The CAPTION THIS Contest is taking a break and will be back tomorrow. And yes, by "taking a break" I mean it has crabs.

Becks brought his nipples out for Elle UK and the only thing I have to say about this is, WHERE ARE HIS EYES?! - Celebitchy

Jake Gyllenhaal is a pair of leather chaps away from giving us Castro leather daddy chic - Lainey Gossip

Jason Biggs wife is a 19-year-old frat boy trapped in a woman's body - SOW

And in this "human cauliflower" edition of Bullett Magazine..... - (site NSFW) Drunken Stepfather

Nicole Scherzinger's left chichi plays a quick game of peek-a-titty - Hollywood Tuna

Where can I get myself a Silver Fox walking stick? - Towleroad

What in Betsy Ross hell kind of American flag dress is that? - The Superficial

This set of pictures of Halle Berry and Olivier Martinez would be so much more entertaining if the pictures of her attacking the paps' throats with her fangs were included - Popoholic

This conversation between Kristen Stewart and Charlize Theron is sponsored by three bowls and a bong - ICYDK

There's something not right about beaver babies yodeling on about death - Just Jared

Katy Perry SANS FARDS - The Berry

Brooke on a bike - IDLYITW

At every bachelorette party I've been to, usually the bride is not the one popping ass for the guests, but I guess Meagan Good does things differently - Crunk + Disorderly

Harpo, who dis woman and don't try to tell me it's Angela from My-So-Called Life - Cityrag

Something tells me Phoebe Price is hiding under that dress - Popsugar

Eminem is making an album with Slaughterhouse - Hollywood Rag

But where are the pictures of Camilla trying to eat her own hat? - Popsugar

Panty Creamer of the Day: Joseph Gordon-Levitt (and those are 8 words and a hyphen I thought I'd never type in a row) - Popsugar

KiKi Dunst always looks like she's off to play a fairy in an outdoor theater production of Midsummer Night's Dream - Lainey Gossip 

RiRi shows us what a still from a Battlefield Earth porn parody might look like - The Berry

How many hos are going to use this to line their coochie tunnels with? - Towleroad

And Leandro Whateverhisnameis looks really excited about it... - (site NSFW) Drunken Stepfather

Jared Smith's facial expression knob must be stuck on SMUG - Celebitchy

German flower Micaela Schaefer is obviously making a bold message about the dangers of leaving soda pack rings lying on the beach - Hollywood Tuna

Nicole Scherzinger's face is starting to look snatched - Popoholic

Kelly Clarkson dropped the chunk for a man - The Superficial

Prison food or school food? - Cityrag

Lindsay Lohan, obviously - Videogum

Vanessa Hudgens' ass got hungry - Celebslam

I kind of want to see Gerard Butler and Adrien Brody bump staches - Just Jared

The RoboCop remake is still happening and now Gary Oldman's in it - Hollywood Rag

David Silver's next kid is going to be a girl - IDLYITW

Levi Johnston will do gay porn in 3....2.. - I'm Not Obsessed

Imagine all the flowers in that room. A mess! - OMG Blog

(Picture via Pacific Coast News)

Snooki's guidoling is a boy and she's trying to act like she's not going to name him Pickleino Zantrex - The Superficial

JLo is taking dickmatized to a whole new level by getting Casper Smart his own reality show - Lainey Gossip

Catherine Zeta-Jones is thinking to herself, "Bitch, instead of yelling at me you should be fluffing up that bunny tail on your head." - The Berry

Will Smith would slap a kissing trick up again - Towleroad

Kelly Brook makes it oh-so-easy - (site NSFW) Drunken Stepfather

Gis and Tom Brady might be spawning again - Celebitchy

There are times when I'm looking at a single picture and I can tell who cut the fart and who's smelling it. This is one of those times. - Hollywood Tuna

You can't put the word RISE on a Batman poster and barely show any bulge - Popoholic

Glamberace is breaking records - ICYDK

A weave advisor is what Brit Brit really needs - Hollywood Rag

Tracy Morgan just outed himself as a Sasquatch, I think - IDLYITW

Tom Sturridge should know his hair is a pile of tragedy when even Kristen Stewart is side-eying it - Popsugar

Michelle Rodriguez in a bikini - Just Jared

Just like bronchitis, I ain't got time for this - Crunk + Disorderly

For $45,000 a month, I also better get a vial of Leonardo DiCatchAHo's sperm so I can find a way to knock myself up and hit him up for child support - Cityrag

In case you're in the Atlanta area and were wondering why you heard a high-pitched walrus screaming, "SAVE THE WIGS! THE WIGS! FORGET THE BABY! THROW YOURSELF OVER THE WIGS!" - I'm Not Obsessed

It took me a few blinks to realize this was not Eva Mendes in the face - Moe Jackson

But does Michael McKean's understudy have an alibi? - SOW

I'm not sure which has more Kardashian amounts of makeup on: Lea Michele's face or Lea Michele's titty bowls? - Hollywood Tuna

Uncle Jay? GOOPY would. - Lainey Gossip

That guy behind Nicole Richie is either really angry about her Valley of the Dolls look or the paps caught him while he gave a beej to an invisible man on stilts - (site NSFW) Drunken Stepfather

Tameka Foster's spit bombs make Usher sad - Celebitchy

But what I want to know is how many tokes did it take for Miley Cyrus to say sex is beautiful magic - The Superficial

Hawkeye and Thor, you're next! - Towleroad

Selena Gomez reading 50 Shades of Grey has to be 50 shades of ILLEGAL - Popoholic

In other words, Ray-J can't handle his coke - ICYDK

Just like vagina, Tim Tebow doesn't really know how the Internet works - IDLYITW

Joel McHale, just because - The Berry

Who cares about Stepford Katie's hard drive shutting down from being exposed to water! Suri Cruise's doll is what really matters! - Popsugar

Rupert Everett is Oscar Wilde - OMG Blog

The scent of slightly charred Botox told me this was Nicole Kidman and not Taylor Swift after a blowout - Just Jared

Avatar had less special effects than this picture of the Kartrashians - Celebslam

And let's hope Ellis dies a slow, torturous, bloody death at the hands of Anjelica Huston - SOW

HEADLINE OF THE CENTURY: Michael Jackson wanted to make babies with Xuxa - Hollywood Rag

I'm reading this as: the Gosselin kids were thisclose to convincing one of the crew members to adopt them all and TLC ruined everything by canceling their show - Videogum

Beyonce B.B.I.C. (Before Blue Ivy Carter) - Cityrag

Demi Moore got a job - I'm Not Obsessed