Nicole Kidman

Nicky Kidman is totally laughing on the inside behind Tommy Girl's back in that picture above. She's probably remembering the moment she caught him booty dancing while wearing one of her teddies. Those were the days.

Tommy Girl was apparently one of the first whores to congratulate Nicky for popping out her little botox pillow, Sunday Rose. He congratulated her by removing the alien hex he put on her. No, he reportedly sent her some fugly flowers.

A source told The Daily Mirror, "She has had hundreds of bouquets of flowers from well-wishers. Tom was one of the first people to get in touch and he sent her enough flowers to fill a room."

You don't mess around with a present from Tommy. Nicky better have immediately taken a torch to those gay ass flowers.

Tommy is one shady lady. He totally put some cameras in there and probably some Scientology mind-reading herbs. You can't trust a bitch who laughs like Mister Ed.

Bitches are trying to figure out why in botox hell did Nicky Kidman and her frosty-haired husband named their daughter Sunday Rose. You know, it's not THAT bad. It sounds like a feminine hygiene product, but it could be worse. She could have named her God'isslove or Fifi Trixibelle.

One source told MSNBC that Keith Urban wrote a song called "Sunday" before their baby was born. Nicky loved the song so much and that's how they came up with the name. The source said, “They really didn’t know she’d almost be born on Sunday.” But she wasn't born on a Sunday. She was born on a fucking MONDAY! They could have at least named her "Day After Sunday."

Another source thinks Nicky chose the name as a slap in the face to Tommy Girl and Scientology. “Nicole is a Catholic, and Sunday was an important religious day for her until she was involved in Scientology. She’s still bitter about her experience with Scientology and the fact her baby’s name could be perceived as one last jab doesn’t exactly upset her, ” said some source.

Oh snap! Tommy Girl is going to have the last cackle! You watch. He's going to name his next robot baby "Icey Pillow" just to spite that bitch.

UPDATE: Nicky's daddy told The Telegraph the true meaning behind botox pillow's name, "There was a lady named Sunday Reed who was a prominent patron of the arts in Victoria. I have read a bit about Sunday Reed and her husband John - she was a key mover and shaker in the arts around the beginning of the century. The name Sunday struck me as being a nice name for a woman, so my wife and I mentioned it." Those Kidmans! They are so fucking smart.

Nicole Kidman popped out a goose-down pillow baby girl this morning in Nashville! People has confirmed the birth of Nicky and Keith Urban's botox baby. Awww....I wonder if she has her mommy's frozen forehead and her daddy's highlights?

No word on what they have named her. Keith probably wants to name her Grey Goose, but Nicky's boring ass isn't going to go for it. I think they should name her Tommy Girl. Tommy Girl Urban!

UPDATE: Nicky's spokeswhore told People that they named their new pillow Sunday Rose Kidman Urban. She weighed in at 6 lbs., 7.5 oz. SUNDAY ROSE?! That sounds like a cheap perfume my abuelita would've bought from Rite-Aid.

Congrats to Nicky, Keith and botox baby! Let's celebrate with a little Blondie:

Nicole Kidman is due to pop out her pillow baby sometime soon and she's created the perfect soundtrack for when she goes into labor. Only Nicky Kidman would do this kind of shit. A source said, "Nicole has been putting together CDs of music to listen to during labor. She has always loved James Galway, particularly his classical albums. Whenever you go to her house, she has Galway on. There is one Prokofiev sonata that is her favorite."

Broing ass James Galway? That botox baby is never coming out, because it will be knocked the fuck out! James Galway could put a tweeker to sleep. And why do people always want to put soothing music on when you're going through some fucked up shit? When I had some painful ass dental work done, the dentist put on some easy listening. Like that shit is going to help. I'm sorry, but I don't need Sade cooing in my ear while a fucking drill is going into my toof.

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Nicole Kidman totally has her own personal Photoshop wizard, CGI artist and cartoonist to make her look stunningly frozen for photo shoots. She looks like she was made from a mixture of wax and Tommy Girl's crusty sperm. Anyway, the interview is all pretty basic and boring, but Vogue did manage to ask her ass about the rumors that she's faking her pregnancy.

Nicky just laughed at the question and said, "Just look at how I'm sitting here with my legs apart. This is the way you have to sit when you're pregnant." You know the pillow fell out when she spread her legs. Please, my legs are always spread. Does that mean I'm knocked up? Shit, probably.

Visit Style.com did read the rest of the interview. And here's more of Nicky looking like a wax mannequin in an exhibit at the Natural History Museum.

Seeing all these knocked up broads makes my sausage, egg and cheese bloat feel like a baby. I should piss on an e.p.t. just to be safe. Anyway, here's tons of pictures of walking baby ovens from the past couple of days. Well, Nicole Kidman is more like a pillow oven. She probably stores a week supply of botox in her pillow bump just in case she gets stranded somewhere. I kid, I kid. I'm sure her baby will come out with a permanent surprised look on its face and frosted tips and then we'll know it's their baby.

Nicky and Keith's kiss in the third thumbnail below is all sorts of awkward. She's blowing, he's sucking.

The baby ovens below are: Nicky, Tori Smelly, Gwen Stefani and Camilla Alves.

It was rumored that Nicole Kidman was going to pose nude and knocked up for a magazine shoot shot by Patrick Demarchelier. Nicole has denied she's going to take it all off. Hmmm.... I wonder why? Is her pillow camera shy?

Nicky said, "'It's total nonsense. It was not that kind of a shoot. It's madness to think I did that or was even asked to do that. I'm just looking forward to having and caring for our baby."

They probably tried to shoot her nude, but the Photoshop and CGI technology needed to make it look real hasn't been invented yet.

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People have been saying that Nicole Kidman's baby bump is barely noticeable. Well, Nicole decided to bring her bump out in full force at the Country Music Awards in Las Vegas last night. Nicky attended the awards show with her husband Keith Urban who still looks like he wrestled with a Sun-In bottle and lost.

While getting her picture taken, Nicky kept her hand around her bump to make it look bigger. I couldn't find many pictures of Nicole without her hands under her bump. If she cared so much about having a bigger bump, she should have asked Katie Holmes if she could borrow her pillow. Nicky is due in a couple of months.

She's not using botox, right? What the hell is she using to keep her skin so tight? She's probably stretching her face with clothespins every night.

Here's more pics of Nicole with Keith and Carrie Underwears last night.

Nicole Kidman spoke at the United Nations in NYC yesterday and showed off two new bumps. One contained baby and the other probably contained collagen or some other kind of filler. Somebody better get her ass that "My Beautiful Mommy" book for her baby shower. She's going to need it.

A 6-month pregnant Nicky was at the UN to discuss violence against women as part of her role as a Goodwill Ambassador. It's nice to see Nicky with some wrinkles, but I can't get past those lips. Does she think that shit looks natural? Since Nicky can't inject herself with Botox, she has to inject herself with something. The doctor should inject her brains with vitamins instead. It needs it.

Nicole Kidman is 5 or 6 months knocked up and I have a bigger belly than she does and I'm not even pregnant.....or am I? SHIT! I better run to Duane Reade, buy an EPT and stick it up my ass. Yes, I know you're supposed to piss on it, but I heard you get faster results if you stick it up your culo. A doctor told me this or was it a crackhead? Same thing!

Botox mommy came out of her bat cave last night to support Keith Urban at the CMT Music Awards last night. Their baby is going to be the size of a kidney stone! I wish I was the size of a kidney stone. Then I could crawl through key holes and sleep in lettuce cups. Seriously!

Here's more of Bronzer and Baby Powder at the CMTs last night.