Lindsay Lohan

WHY, WHY and WHY?! Lindsay Lohan is trying to destroy us all. What is going on in her head, besides a rollercoast coke party? I mean....leave your outfits in the 80s!!! I think she really broke into my mom's house, went into the garage, rifled through the bags of old clothes and popped out this little number. I mean.....and hanging out with Scott Storch isn't helping. Anyway, that's how she spent in NYE in Miami. I'm sensing a lot of tension in the nose area too.

Lindsay Lohan and Kimberly Stewart both partied at Mokai last night in Miami. These two pieces of trash are in town for the New Years. Damn, if you told me these two were 45-year-old truck stop hookers down on their luck, I'd believe you. I mean they look used. I love the look on the guys face next to Kimbo. He's thinking "WTF am I looking at?"

Lindsay could use some sleep and some facial treatments. She's looking spent and even a probably expensive dress looks cheap on her ass.

Image Source: CDL

Tbe New York State Independent Party has encouraged Lindsay Lohan to run for government in 2009. Speaking on behalf of the party, FRANK MORANO said that she could run for NYC Public Advocate. The position is next in line to the Mayor and links the electorate and city government. He said, "As Albany is currently a cesspool of corruption, badly in need of reform, you may also want to consider a bid for the state legislature. "Many celebrities have made the transition from Hollywood to politics, ranging from ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER and JESSE VENTURA to SONNY BONO and RONALD REAGAN. Few if any though, had the enormous potential that you possess."

WTF? Wait, will she be able to legalize things? Like pot? If so, then I say yes! Oh and can she bring transfat back?

Seriously, I think she sucked him off so he could say that.

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Lindsay Lohan spent 3 hours early yesterday at Scores strip club in NYC. She spent her time dancing onstage, jumping around and trying to perform. She's calling it "research" for her new movie I Know Who Killed Me. Lindsay also called all the strippers into the bathroom where she apologized for calling them "whores" in an email she wrote to friends that got out to the public last week.

A source said, "She got up on the stripper pole and began to dance with the Scores Girls with 400 customers cheering her on," said our source. "Then, she joined her entourage of 15 in the VIP area, and got lap dances from many of the girls, including a special double-dance from two strippers at once. It was hot. But while everybody was drinking, Lindsay was not. It was strictly Perrier for her."

Lindsay also complained in emails that her thighs were sore from "practicing" on the stripper pole. Since when does it take 3 hours to learn how to be a stripper? It's not hard. Just stand there looking uncomfortable in lucite heels and a thong and kind of move around, looking bored. Please, she knows where the good coke is. The strippers should've gave her a beat down in the bathroom.

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Lindsay Lohan made her way through LAX yesterday carrying a Gentlemen Prefer Blondes DVD and wearing a hospital bracelet. She probably goes to the hospital daily for a possible OD, so it's probably best for her just to keep it on. Less trouble that way. She also needs to clean the dirt under her finger nails. Ugh, she's rancid.

Image Source: INO

Lindsay Lohan has finally realized her future and has given up acting and is now stripping to make the rent. Ok, not really but she's training as a topless dancer for her new film "I Know Who Killed Me." Linds is working with stripper pro Sheila Kelly and will spend the next 5 weeks taking her undies off and actually getting paid.

She told friends in an e-mail, "They're all whorez, they're all whorez . . . xcept for some obviously! So . . . 3 hours of pole dancing and bruised. everywhere . . . I mean we're talkin' like, UPPER AND INNER THIGH ACTION-bruised . . . like a walking black-and-blue mark. I mean really though, really, I didn't know it was actually possible to have bruises in such areas of the body. Strippers dude, I tell you, I really respect the cuntz now. . . I'm not gonna lie to ya."

Using the word c-u-next-tuesday to describe women? Who does she think she is? Me?!

Lohan's rep confirms that she's stripping now, "Her character is a stripper, and she now realizes that the job isn't easy. We should give these women credit."

I would love to see the original script! You know her character is like a supermarket checkout girl and Lohan comes in and is like, "Ok, I really think it would be like (sniff) really intense (sniff) and important emotionally if she's like a cuntz of a stripper (sniff) you know like really cool and like real."

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Lindsay Lohan toted around that Voss water bottle again to tell the world that she isn't drinking booze. Please, you know she put some straight-up vodka in there.

PS - What is that chick wearing in the back? Is that a tablecloth from the 70s?

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Lindsay Lohan is wore a mess of an outfit in Beverly Hills last night. Did she take a GLAD bag and some fat girl jeans to create this monstrosity? I mean....denim and latex? Homegirl may be sober, but she's dressing like a tranny from the early 90s.

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Lindsay Lohan attended that D&G party last night wearing some sort of bondage trench coat. She looks purty and blah blah blah.

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Lindsay Lohan told People Magazine that she just came from an AA meeting as she arrived late to a Christmas party at Hyde in L.A. She said that she's been in AA for nearly a year and said "Well it's no one's business. That's why it's anonymous!" Um...so why did she announce then?

She said, "I haven't had a drink in seven days. Or anything. I'm not even legal to, so why would I? I don't drink when I go to clubs. I drink with my friends at home, but there's no need to. I feel better not drinking. It's more fun. I have Red Bull."

She failed to mention that she probably crushes oxycontin and drops it into her Red Bull for an extra kick. I'm all for this ho getting help, but let's be honest.....she's still getting high. She needs to be locked away to detox.

The pic above is from this past weekend's KROQ Acoustic Christmas in Los Angeles. She's posing with Pete Wentz who is too fat to wear that fug shirt. Actually, nobody should wear that fug shirt. I think he stole it from Brit Brit.

Image Source: CDL