Lindsay Lohan
No More Louis For Lohan
"Louis Vuitton had sent over some samples for her to wear in the shoot," said a snitch. "Lindsay, kept shoving the clothes into her bag, and a stylist's assistant kept getting them out of the bag, only to have Lindsay keep trying to take them. She ended up walking off with a very expensive shirt and some other items - which screwed Louis Vuitton because they were set to go to Vogue, W and Harper's Bazaar for other shoots. They were furious and kept trying to get their clothes back, but . . . Lindsay walked out with them and never returned calls."
Let's Catch Up With That Other Wreck
White Oprah Really Wants A Trump Fued
"I've always had a great admiration for your business sense and I've read all your books and learned from them. Your own brother died of alcoholism and you own Trump Vodka? You say Lindsay needs new parents? Such a rash statement without backing it with fact? I am a single mother of four children doing what I can during this difficult time! Do a background check of both parents and you will find the truth! Shame on you... so many families suffer from this, yours included. We need solutions not opinions!"
Oh Snap!
"When Mrs. Lohan stops partying with her child, then I'll have an ounce of respect for her! I don't care if her parents are both crummy – you cannot blame your parents anymore. She's not a kid. Lindsay, get it together, America will forgive you but you gotta do something positive with your life.""I hope she does okay but at a certain point, there's so many bigger problems in the world than Lindsay Lohan. I hope she gets her head out of her nice, cute little rear end and finds a life for herself. She's very talented, and a special little actress but there are so many people out there who'd trade positions with her in a heartbeat and use it better than she is."
Something Tells Me There Isn't Going To Be A Sequel
Bad Reviews
Lindsay Lohan's newest screen epic "I Know Who Killed Me" wasn't screened for critics for a very obvious reason, it's a piece of trash. Now that I'm reading the reviews that are trickling in, I actually want to see this piece of trash. Bad reviews are better than good reviews and Lindsay's latest has a slew of them. Here are some gems:
"There is no way that Lohan was in her right mind when she signed the contract for this one."
"Imagine the worst possible idea for a Parent Trap sequel that manages to combine elements of Stigmata, Dune, The Empire Strikes Back, The Corsican Brothers and Blue Man Group."
"With sky-blue tools, gloves and mask, the killer looks so much like a member of the Blue Man Group that you expect him to spit marshmallows at his victims."
"Having broken free of the Disney machine that molded her, Lohan now seems intent on destroying her career and credibility on her own terms."
"After a 20 minute delay in starting the movie, I had to assume the projector was taking an ethical stand and refusing to be party to the heinous act of showing this movie"
"The film is so cheap, lurid and overwrought it could be made up of lost reels from Grindhouse, except it lacks the knowing, self-referential humor of that B-movie parody."
The video above is what the trailer should've looked like.
I know what I'm doing this afternoon. Do you think the $3 movie theater is showing this yet?
Getting Paid
"they never, ever expected to be in a car with her. It was a surprise to them"their "vehicle was taken without their permission and they were unable to remove themselves while traveling, [and they were] endangered in that way" making it "false imprisonment."
White Oprah Goes To Court
Blohan's Blame Game
Dante and Jakon say Lindsay then hit Pacific Coast Highway in Malibu. Dante says he tried to grab the wheel, prompting Lindsay to say, "If you touch me I'll sue you." Jakon says they pleaded with her to stop.Dante says they were going 100 MPH. They say Lindsay caught up with the assistant and began doing circles on PCH, around the assistant's car.They say at one point, Lindsay boasted, "I can't get in trouble. I'm a celebrity. I can do whatever the f**k I want.
The now former assistant finally lost Lindsay on PCH. Dante says Lindsay thought the assistant was going to her mother's house in Santa Monica so Lindsay went there. It just so happened that the assistant's mother was pulling into the driveway as Lindsay arrived.Dante says the mother panicked at Lindsay's crazy driving, and backed out of the driveway in fear -- not knowing who was behind the wheel. The guys say Lindsay then began to chase her at speeds of up to 80 MPH through Santa Monica, blowing multiple red lights.
Dante realized the mother was driving to the police station and warned Lindsay if she didn't stop she'd get in hot water. He says Lindsay responded, "I'm a celebrity. I'm not going to get in trouble."
The two cars stopped in a parking lot near the cop shop. When police arrived, Dante says it seemed as if Lindsay told officers, "I wasn't driving. The black kid was driving."
Dante and Jakon say they saw Lindsay flunk the field sobriety test. They say when she tried touching her nose, she almost fell over.
As Ronnie put it "It was pretty much the worst night of my entire summer."
UGH! How Did They Not Hang Up On Her?

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