Jason Patric

When Jason Patric and Danielle Schreiber broke up in 2009 after being together for years, she asked him to give her his baby batter so that she could have a baby of her own. Jason agreed to jack it into a turkey baster as long as she agreed to not ask for child support and didn't expect him to be a part of the kid's life at all. Danielle agreed, they shook hands and he hand hugged his peen until their future child swan dove into the turkey baster. Danielle was inseminated, got knocked up, gave birth to a son and that was that until now.

Jason never saw his bio-son Gus until he and Danielle got back together in 2011. Jason became a part of Gus' life and they all went to Hawaii together as a family (see pics below). But Jason and Danielle couldn't make it work a second time and so they broke up. Jason's heart had already wrapped all the way around Gus by then, so he decided that he wanted custody of his son. Danielle let Jason visit Gus, but she wasn't looking to make it legal, so they went to court.

TMZ says that after a week of hearing both sides, the judge ruled yesterday that Jason can't claim custody of Gus, because he wasn't married to Danielle at the time and she was inseminated by a doctor. Who knows if Danielle is going to continue to let Jason see Gus after he took her ass to court.

I don't know why Jason and Danielle thought this was a good idea in the first place. Jason gladly gave his ex-girlfriend his sperm thinking that nothing dramatic was going to come out of it. Then they get back together, Jason gets close to Gus, they break up and she thinks he's going to go back to being a non-motherfucking factor in her son's life? Yeah, uh huh. If Danielle wanted sperm from a dude who would quickly disappear from her life and never contact her again, she should've saved herself a whole lot of trouble by asking my dad for some.