Ice-T

Today is a sad day, because it's the day that I learned that CoCo and Ice-T's love isn't as rock solid as the silicone in her titty bags. Ice-T went to Twitter to pour out his feelings about some pictures of his beloved pearl CoCo kissing on some rapper. The SUPER DUPER MEGA WORLD EXCLUSIVE pictures from Media Take Out (via Necole Bitchie) show CoCo and Oakland rapper AP.9 posing like two high school seniors on prom night. Ice-T shook his head while tweeting (and deleting) this stream of woes:

Coco’s in Vegas. She has given me her explanation of the pics on the net from her first weeks out there with some dude. She said he knew someone in the crew from our show and would pop up where ever they would go. He also said he knew me.. I don’t know dude.

Regardless.. They would take Posed pics every time. Most of them disrespectful and in bad taste. She’s made me look.. And feel like sh-t.

I say this on Twitter because there’s no way to avoid the obvious misconduct of a married couple. That’s it. Any more questions ask @Cocosworld

Don’t get it twisted… I’m not happy about this sh-t.

Daily Game: Trust no one..

CoCo did respond and apologized for making Ice-T feel like Shit-T.

Woke up to people in a panic about some pics,please guys I'm happily married,sometimes fans & friends take silly pics.Its harmless. #RELAX

Ice is right,the pics I took with this man were in poor taste & I disrespected my husband however the pics were the only thing that happened

I feel so sad,the bottom line is I love Ice & I can understand why he's upset theres no excuse for my actions.I'm so sorry baby & to evryonea

You're probably thinking, "But for why are they airing out their dirty panties in public?!" Um, because Ice-T and CoCo are America's first couple and we deserve an explanation for this! And because they have a reality show to sell. Even if this is just a shameless stunt to promote said reality show, I'm still frowning. I'm frowning, because how can CoCo pose with a rapper wearing a Gucci monogram hat? Does she not have any standards? Strangely enough, when I pout and frown, my quivering lips kind of look like CoCo's camel toe when it's about to stampede.

If the first lady of elegance, CoCo, really wanted to fuck some shock and awe into our brains, she would've dressed up as a fully-clothed Amish virgin for Halloween, but then Slutoween would've officially been canceled and every ho's inner slut would have to stay inside. Because the one-night sluts of Slutoween can't officially stuff their crotches into a Frederick's of Hollywood costume until they hear the period blood-curdling cry from CoCo's camel toe as it gets stranged with fishnets and a wad of Spandex.

The cry was heard at CoCo's Halloween party in Las Vegas on Saturday night when she strut along the red carpet with thighs that looked like precooked Christmas hams busting out of their nets, and her suction cup nipples holding up a metal titty plate. You can say that CoCo went as a slutty hell minion with RiRi head and you'd be correct. You'd also be correct if you said that CoCo went as CoCo going to the grocery store.

And since we're on the subject of Slutoween, I also threw in some pictures of superstar urinal Kim Kardashian making genitals itch and pores push out milky green pus at her Halloween party in NYC. At least she could blame it on her costume this time.

While surrounded by pimps, hos, 10 pesos weaves, unmaintained eyebrow situations, swap meet contact lenses, sourdough loaf titties, natural beauties and crystal clear nutsacks, Ice-T and CoCo celebrated their 10-year wedding anniversary by renewing their vows for their new E! reality show. That know-it-all bitch Wikipedia claims Ice-T and CoCo got married December of 2005, but these two live in an ethereal queef bubble where facts do no matter, so I will raise a camel toe cup filled with pink Andre and toast to their 10 years of marriage!

This display of sheer elegance makes Prince William and Kate Middleton's wedding look like a quince held in a Burger King party room. This is the real royal wedding (as seen through the eyes of a Roma Gypsy).

At the reception, I'm sure CoCo's camel toe clapped the melody to Tony! Toni! Tone's! "Anniversary" while guests placed their champagne flutes on her shelf titties to dance with her. And those lucky guests were: Snoop, Don "Magic" Juan with his stoop sale trollops, Ice-T's son Little Ice, Tila Tequila and CoCo's mom Tina.