Fug

Don't try it, Michelle Trachtenberg. You will never be Lindsay Lohan, not even a low-rent version. I mean you were in "Inspector Gadget"?! I mean... So, here's Michelle Trachtenberg with the fugly fug, Lydia Hearst. How is this chick (Hearst) a model? She looks like an America's Next Top Model drop-out.

Here's these two trying really hard to be sexy at some Smirnoff Vodka party in NYC last night. Put it in the bank, darlings.

Is it at all possible that Jodie Marsh has a stylist? If it is possible then is it possible that her stylist is a gay tiger with the shakes? I mean...who on Earth would put on this hideous mixture? Leave it to this piece of trash to figure something out of an old pair of overalls and disgarded lingerie from the discount bin at Frederick's. Anyway, she put this mess together at the DVD launch for Grease. I think she's supposed to be like a sexy mechanic from the Amazon. Homegirl needs to be put away.

She attended the party with some fag named Ricky Parfitt Jr. I mean even if he isn't gay, his name is. Jodie has terrible wonky eye, but that's from a load in the eye earlier in the evening.

Don't worry, Sharon Stone and Kimora Simmons are not new BFFs, they are both helping to fight AIDS by partying the night away with Duran Duran. The amfAR Benefit and auction with Duran Duran was held last night in NYC at Cipriani. Sharon Stone hosted the event. Kimora was there to be annoying.

Riddle me this, is that real fur Sharon is wearing? She's not with AIDS, but is ok with animals dying? Anyway, she should save an animal and wear Kimora's wig. I'm going to assume it's fake.

The one thing that isn't fake is Kimora's dick!

Michael Jackson will perform his classic hit "Thriller" at the World Music Awards in Monaco next week. Producers of the show say he will receive the Diamond Award given to artists who have sold more than 100 Million album worldwide.

Jacko has remained in hiding since he was acquitted of child molestation charges last year. This performance will mark his return and no doubt give us something to laugh at.

Below is an interview that Jacko gave recently to Billy Bush. I'm not sure who scares me more, Jacko or Bush? Jacko has clearly lost his mind and everyone around him seems in a daze. This performance is going to be AMAZING and by amazing, I mean a GRADE A train wreck.

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Why did Gavin Rossdale chop off those locks? Damn him. Here he is at some tennis event a few days ago. Now, he just looks like a Southern gay who collects ceramic ducks.

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KFed being fat and gross in NYC on 11/4/06

KFed has confessed that Britney Spears isn’t the only fat ho in the family. Since having Jayden James, Britney has apparently lost most of the weight while KFed has failed to lose any. I guess he puts on the pounds when she’s pregnant. Err..ok?

He said, “I gain the sympathy weight and she loses it in two weeks after she has the baby… It’s daddy fat. It comes and goes. [Britney] goes through different feelings about it. Sometimes she’ll tell me to get my butt in the gym and sometimes it doesn’t bother her.”

I went to see this trash on Saturday night in NYC and let me just say that there were honestly like 150 people there. The joint holds 1600, so you do the math. I couldn’t tell if bitch is fat or not, because I was too intoxicated. Intoxication is a must if you’re watching this kind of mess. I’m not sure what took place, but there was a lot of crotch grabbing and a lot of “all the ladies in the house” type dialogue. I think at one point he made us chant “Fuck You KFed” over and over again, which was very easy to do. Second nature, if you will.

The highlight of the evening was when the bartenders started screaming “We Want Britney!”

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I read this on ONTD this morning and think it might be too good to be true. Apparently, during a film shoot Scarlett Johansson left her mic on when she went to get busy with an unidentified male in a truck. One of the sound operators noticed that her shit was still on and listened and taped while Scarlett and the dude (apparently not Josh Hartnett) made out and then she leaned over and gave him a sloppy bj. She ends by telling the dude "Yeah, cum."

I need proof! Scarlett has made a ton of films and I'm sure she'd remember to take off her mic before sucking the dick of some dude. That being said, I'm a little annoyed that she didn't let said guy jizz all over her amazing breastes. I mean?

Here's, Scarlett and Hugh Jackman at the premiere for "The Prestige". Scarlett again wore an ill-fitting dress and took her hair color to firecrotch levels. The dye job looks like it was done with orange RIT. Seriously, Scar!

It's a slow news day so I thought I'd cover this ho. I've seen her pictures here and have always wondered who this woman is? Apparently, Christine Peters is a movie producer. She's also married to a mega movie producer or something. I tried to find pictures of her when she looked normal, but no dice. Seriously, this is what happens to women when they move to Los Angeles. They get smog in the brains and makes themselves believes that this is hot. Poor bitch. She's just entered Wildenstein territory.

This is a French ad urging bitches to use rubbers. The ad shows a baby hand handing a condom over to two fugs. Why? Because these two will ruin the life of an innocent child by pro-creating. Genius. Source VIA Adrants

Blockbuster bought Chestica Simpson to whore out their new Total Access program which works like Netflix. She of course will do anything for the right price. The thing is VIP and Chestica don't mix. Unless, by VIP they mean "Very Special (Ed) Person" then by all means.

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