Fug

Nancy Kerrigan's best girlfriend ever, Tonya Harding, is making news in Washington. Clark County coppers responded to two calls from Tonya early Sunday morning. They described her as "tweaking out."

According to Tonya, four men and women tried to steal her car. The cops found her story completely bullshit. A few hours later, Tonya's friend called and told the cops that she was "seeing animals" WTF?! Stop sniffing drano, you trailer trash bitch!

The cops showed up and took Tonya back to her trailer. Oh damn, she really lives in a trailer?

She's still the most elegant princess on ice in my opinion and by ice I mean fried up Nyquil.

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Maggie Gyllenhaal has been officially confirmed as Katie Holmes replacement in The Dark Knight. Maggie will play Rachel Dawes, the same role Katie played in Batman Begins. Katie backed out of the project, because she's brainwashed.

Shooting will begin late Spring and will star Christian Bale as Batman, Heath Ledger as The Joker, Aaron Eckhart as Two-Face along with Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine and Gary Oldman. The film is expected to be released in July 2008.

Did Rachel Dawes suddenly get downs? Ugh, Maggie cannot play anyone's love interest..not even to a toilet pipe! She's just a brunette Kiki Dunst...fugly, gummy and slow!

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Serena girl! Go get those eyebrows fixed! Anastasia anyone? DAMN! Here's Serena and the Grinch at NEA’s “Reading on the Red Carpet” in NYC today. It's kind of terrifying that the Grinch is taking a look at Serena's nasty shit.

Chloe Sevigny is in "Zodiac." I'm not sure how she got that job since she can't even make an actual blowjob seem real. She attended the premiere last night Los Angeles wearing something that looked like a second-hand Paris Hilton frock. Pink faux leather/satin is not hot! She's still gorge though. Hahah

Michelle Williams showed off her twinkalicious hair at The Independent Spirit Awards in Santa Monica today. Even though she's channeling Rosemary's baby mama, I still kind of like it. It's clean and fresh and makes her look not so marshmallow-like. That dress is hot. Heath is a different story.

No, Neve Campbell and no comment. Here's Neve at the Haven House Oscar Suite yesterday. Damn! I want free shit!

No, it's Macy Gray. She got the Fantasia do' and looks like a cockatoo on crack. I love her crazy ass. She performed at a Vanity Fair concert in Los Angeles last night. Furthermore, where the hell did she get that dress?! It looks like it was crumpled up in the bottom of a discount bin at Filene's Basement. Jesus, someone give this ho a free dress! That ain't right for you.

Jessica...Jessica...Jessica Lange. Did she get MORE work done? How is it that she looks pulled from here to Hong Kong, yet she still has wrinkles on the forehead? So you're going to get pulled, but not put a little botox in there? She used to be soooooo hot and it's shame, because that up there looks nothing like her. She's currently in London starring in "The Glass Menagerie" and that mugshot was taken from the opening party last night. I'm sure she plays the entire thing "shocked" and "surprised."

Aubrey O'Day is a member of the low-rent Pussycat Dolls aka Diddy's Hos aka Danity Kane. She celebrated her birthday at a club in NYC last night with fellow cast members D. Woods and Dawn (below). What the hell happened to her? She's usually cute.

Is this a costume party and she's dressed as Courtney Love?

LORD DON'T TAKE ME NOW PLEASE!!! Ok, I've had enough. Mickey Rourke at Maxim's Super Bowl party in Miami yesterday did it for me. Sometimes, it's just not worth it. I really have to go now and pray to the Lord. Everything about this picture is darksided and I am dry heaving. Honestly, I'd rather stick a curling iron up my ass, turn it on and open it than hit that.