Speak of the devil. I just mentioned the Danny Devito and Rhea Perlman divorce at the end of the Courtney and Doug write-up, and then MK lands this little nugget in my inbox. So, nobody could possibly have guessed this, but the reason for their breakup is rumored to be a scorching case of wandering peen. That's a pretty common thread in breakups and I thought that might be it for a split second, but then I remembered it's Danny Devito and felt stupid. I mean who besides Rhea wants to get all up (or down really, unless you fail the "have to be this tall to ride" challenge) on that? Just look at his luscious little self up there with his strong broad shoulders, luxurious mane and the finest in footwear and tell me you wouldn't.
So in an exclusive, Radar.online lays out the whole sordid mess. Basically they say Danny's been an extra fucker since at least his Hoffa days, and he would promise to make these young dumb girls famous (spoiler: he didn't) if they would hop on his Wee Willie Winky (spoiler: they did). I don't know who is more disgusting, Danny for preying on these starry eyed hoes - who get extra points for doing the gold digging equivalent of the food challenge on Survivor - or the girls for pretending to be all into and humping on an old married gherkin for nothing. How completely embarrassing. And then there's poor Rhea over there, actually caring about this fool.
The anonymous source says that it was pretty obvious and common knowledge about what was going down (dramatic pause) on the Hoffa set and everyone felt sorry for Rhea, who was doubly humiliated because 1) her husband was openly cheating on her and 2) she was already famous when she started fucking on him so she had no excuse. Bummer.
This is when we're all supposed to put a black lace veil over our face and dramatically throw ourselves on top of love's coffin as it gets lowered into the ground, because true love is dead and marriage is nothing but a lie. Love has already thrown itself off a bridge, jumped through a window, put its head in an oven, snatched away Chris Brown's phone during a Lamborghini anti-joy ride, and humped on Parasite Hilton without four condoms on, but this news is really going to kill it forever. Entertainment Tonight says Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman are no longer starring in the real-life show Little People, Big Love, because they have broken up after 30 years of marriage.
Actors Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman have separated after more than 30 years of marriage, ET has learned.
The couple's rep Stan Rosenfield confirmed the news to ET.
The pair, who married in January of 1982, have three children together.
Little people love is supposed to last forever! It's not a good feeling knowing that Danny and Rhea aren't snuggling together in their tree trunk cottage like a baby porcupine and a baby bird staying warm together in the winter. I'm not going to bring up the blind items that claim Danny rubs his slutty foot on side trick after trick. Instead, I'm going to call the nearest emergency room and tell them to have a bed waiting for me, because this news makes me want to buttchug a liquid nitrogen cocktail.