Crazy

18 year-old, Maksim Miakovsky, was arrested in Manhattan Beach, CA for threatening to kill horse-faced, Hilary Duff this past weekend. He was arrested at a local Residence Inn on Friday night.

TMZ reported that Maksim has made several threats to Hilary and her boyfriend, Joel Madden. Maksim said that the reason why he came to the US from Russia was to get it on with Hilary. That’s a waste of a planet ticket.

Maksim was planning to kill Hilary on Sunday at an event she was scheduled to attend. He is currently being held on $200,000 bail.

Doesn’t Blohan hate Duff? She’s totally going to pay that dude’s bail. Honestly, you have to be pretty lame if you want to kill Hilary Duff. I mean he’s probably cooped up in his hotel room watching “Lizzie Maguire” over and over again and chanting “let the rain fall down and wake my dreams”, so after a while you would think he’d look up in the mirror and realize that this is stuff of insanity. Hilary Duff?! WTF?

Tom Cruise and his partner, Paula Wagner, have signed with MGM to bring back United Artists. This comes months after Tom and Paula were fired from Paramount.

Tom will produce and star in films for the new studio and Paula will serve as CEO. United Artists was founded 80 years ago by Charlie Chaplin and Mary Pickford. I’m sure they are rolling in their graves now, knowing this loon is running their ship.

He’s gonna screw it up somehow. Expect this shit to crash and burn in a few years. He should totally remake My Stepmother is an Alien starring Katie Holmes. Isn’t that a UA film?

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Ok, not really. Stupid bitch just has pneumonia. Anna Nicole has been put in the hospital in the same place where her son died. Her attorney said, "She has a slight case of pneumonia. We've had a sudden change of weather here due to a cold snap."

Pneumonia my ass! Bitch probably finally almost ODed on all the crazy pills she's taking. I'm so over her crazy ass!

Her attorney said that she will be released soon and it's not serious. He also dismissed claims that Anna dyed Danielynn's hair so she could look more like Howard K. Stern. WTF?!!!! You know that dumb whore used RIT!

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Sumner Redstone, the crazy studio boss of Paramount, has spoken out on why he fired Tom Cruise. He said he took the advice from his wife, because according to her Tom had become hated by both men and women.

He says, "He was embarrassing the studio. And he was costing us a lot of money. $100 million, $150 million on Mission: Impossible III. It was the best picture of the three, and it did the worst."

"Paula (his wife), like women everywhere, had come to hate him. The truth of the matter is, I did listen to her. His behavior was entirely unacceptable to Paula and to the rest of the world. He just didn't turn one (woman) off. He turned off all women, and a lot of men. When did I decide (to fire him)? I don't know. When he was on the Today show? When he was jumping on a couch at Oprah? He changed his handler, you know, to his sister (LeAnne Devette)--not a good idea. The explosion was good. It sent a message to the rest of the world that the time of the big star getting all this money is over. And it is! I would like to think that what I did, or what we did, has had a salutary effect on the rest of the industry."

Sumner sounds just as crazy as Tom if you ask me. Those two should’ve stuck together and been shipped off to Insane Island. I’m sure one exists. In other TomKat news, the pair will apparently marry at the Mussolini compound in Italy. The massive villa was Benito Mussolini’s hideout during World War II.

A source said, "Katie recently visited the hotel with Victoria and fell in love with it instantly. It's an ideal place for Tom and her to tie the knot because it's hidden away by dense greenery on the landward side, while the view on the opposite side which overlooks the lake is stunning. Katie was made aware that Mussolini used it as a war-time base, but she seemed more interested in the fact that the likes of Grace Kelly had stayed there."

They are basically getting married in a bomb shelter? How fitting. Angelina Jolie is rumored to show up, but I doubt. That ho is too good to be associated with a bunch of nuts!

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The giant known as Katie Holmes ran into Brooke Shields at a private party in Beverly Hills this past weekend. Even though Tom Cruise once threw judgement on Brooke for taking meds to battle depression (he has since apologized), this didn't stop Brooke from speaking with Katie.

Suri Cruise was nowhere to be seen, as usual.

Does Katie grow like a foot a day? Is this a side effect of the crazy pills she is taking? She looks like she's going to eat Brooke.

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TMZ reports. They issued this statement:

"We are saddened to announce that Reese & Ryan have decided to formally separate. They remain committed to their family and we ask that you please respect their privacy and the safety of their children at this time."

Reese has already hired divorce attorney, Robert Kaufman. There has been no word on the split, but sources say it was a long time coming. There were rumors that Ryan was threatened by his wife's career. The two recently came out as a couple on 10/17. They have been married seven years.

Divorce papers have not yet been filed.

I'm guessing now that Ryan has a critically acclaimed movie on his hands, bitch is jealous! This is going to get ugly. Homegirl wants to be the H.B.I.C. I doubt they have a pre-nup and Reese makes $20 million a picture!

For the ten of you out there that watch The Bachelor, you know that this show is maybe half a step-up from Flavor of Love. The girls are just as delusional and skanky. So, it’s a huge surprise that the producers are trying desperately to get the Pope on the show. They think they actually have a chance.

The latest installment takes place in Rome and features a fake Prince. Executive Producer Mike Fleiss has said that they’ve tried several times to get the Pope. He said, “We’ll sneak the cameras into Vatican Square. We’ll do something. Wouldn’t it be cool to see the Pope praying with the bachelor and giving him guidance to make the right decision?”

Mike envisions the Pope advising Prince Lorenzo on whom to give his final rose to. I agree with him that it would be cool for Pope Eggs Benedict to be there, but it would also be cool to see Prince Lorenzo and his final hag fall into a hole filled with anacondas. I mean it would be cool, but it will never happen.

Actually, the Pope loves Prada. They should just bribe him with a new pair of Prada sneakers.

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Some 18-year-old New Jersey native named Tyrone created a knock-off of MySpace which he calls Niggaspace. Hmm...let me think about this one.

The site describes itself, "You definitely don’t have to be black to join! We just want to embrace the black culture that continues to innovate and strive! So if you want to meet some chill people, create an account! "

Tyrone defends the racist name of his site, “this is no way meant to be racist, my biggest intention is to change the connotation of the word.”

That's deep. I'm sure we'll soon see versions of this called FagSpace, CrackaSpace and AnoSpace.

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Posh Beckham was supposed to help Katie Holmes with all aspects of her wedding to Tom Cruise, but those plans have been put on hold after the BFFs have apparently had a falling out. The two took Paris Fashion Week by storm and looked like two lesbians from the 1950s. They attended all the shows in search for Katie’s perfect wedding dress. Giorgio Armani was hired to design the dress.

The two had a spat after Posh suggested that Katie drop a few before her wedding. A source said, "Victoria didn’t mean any harm, she just wanted to help Katie look her best for her big day. She offered to share her diet secrets but Katie immediately got defensive, saying she didn't need any advice. Katie is really proud of the weight she’s managed to lose since giving birth to Suri in April and she doesn’t think she has to lose anymore."

Diet secrets? Um…it’s no secret what this alien’s diet secrets are! They involve eating ice chips for breakfast, ice chips for lunch and a tic tac for dinner! Katie’s already lost a few anyway, a few marbles.

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Blohan showed off what I'm thinking is a Halloween costume last night. I'm not sure what she's dressed as. She probably is wearing the pajamas of some dude she screwed the night before and only Hugh Hefner has jammies like that, so she fucked his ass.

TMZ also reports that her ass had a rough night:

At 6:45 am, a TMZ spy spotted Lindsay at Olive and Sunset in Hollywood, near a dog park. Lindsay was sitting in her parked black Cadillac Escalade and our spy, who was walking his dog, could see Lohan through the tinted windows, "freaking out" and talking on her phone. Then, Lohan called our spy over and told him that two men in a silver Toyota 4Runner -- parked behind her -- had been following her for the last two hours, trying to "hit" her vehicle. Our spy reports that "she seemed out of it," that it appeared she'd been out all night, and that she'd clearly been crying, with mascara running down her face. "I've called the cops," said Lindsay of her alleged pursuers. "But the cops can't catch them." What Lindsay didn't even realize in her reduced state was that the two men in the Toyota were actually paparazzi. Our spy saw them snapping away. And, he says, as their vehicle started to creep up on Lindsay's Escalade, she shifted into drive, hit the gas and took off. The paparazzi followed her.

Oh Gawd. Somebody get this crackhead some help! I'm sure since it was so early this morning she was on her way to church!