Crackheads

Lindsay Lohan needs to lay off the oxycontin and freon or whatever the hell she's sniffing, because homegirl has definitely lost the last few brain cells she had in her brain. She apparently sent a rambling e-mail to her friends and lawyers. In the e-mail she insists that Al Gore will help her get clean. WTF?! She's not global warming! Ok, she sort of is.

Page Six obtained this strange letter, "Al Gore will help me. He came up to me last night and said he would be very happy to have a conversation with me. If he is willing to help me, let's find out. Hilary [sic] Clinton, Bill Clinton, and Evan Metroplis [sic], and John Daur who works with them would be willing, if we just ask. If we just ASK. Let's sue the tabloids for saying the things they say. Defamation of character."

After doing a few more lines, she goes on, "Our society should be educated for the better of our country. Our people . . . because I have such an impact on our younger generations, as well as generations older than me. Which we all know and can obviously see."

She also mentions wanting to take someone she calls LR for what they have done to her. L. Ron Hubbard? Yeah, makes sense again.

She closed with saying that she wanted to hold a press conference, "I am at such a young and tender age in a woman's life. It's enough already, I've had enough and I am going to be the one to make a change." I mean...she makes it so easy. I think someone needs to take away her Blackberry, Macbook, car keys, credit cards, wallet, lighters, rolling papers, purse, nose, eyes, vagina and then she'd be ok! Seriously, she's scaring me. I know a coke-fueled letter when I see one.

Pete Doherty attended a party on Sunday at a London flat of one of his friends. At the party, Petey got involved into a fight with actor, Mark Blanco. Witnesses say the fight became physical.

A witness said, “Blanco arrived at Paul’s a little drunk. He and Pete started to niggle each other. It turned into a full blown argument, with insults being thrown on both sides. The argument got physical and Roundhill (apt. owner) stepped in to break it up. He then asked Blanco to leave. A few minutes later some lads came rushing up to say there was a man lying in the street.”

Mark fell from the second story and was rushed to the hospital where he later died. The police are investigating and are interviewing party goers. Petey was said to have left shortly before the accident and went directly to his hotel.

The hotel said, “There is evidence he took drugs, the carpet’s wrecked, there are smashed up bottles everywhere and the place is covered in blood.”

Petey the murderer!!! Oh well even if he did do it he will be found not guilty and only have to pay $400. The police love them some Doherty!

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Andy Dick pulled a Michael Richards by throwing the "n" word around at a performance this past weekend. Andy started heckling comedian, Ian Bagg at the Improv in L.A. The two played off each other, but when the subject of Michael Richards came up Andy grabbed the mic and said, "You're all a bunch of niggers!"

Attention-whore anyone? Andy should stick to dressing in drag, snorting lines and sucking dick!

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Pete Doherty won't be serving any jail time for possession of heroin and crack a judge ruled today. The 27-year-old wreck will only have to pay $1,525 in fines and court costs. Kate Moss will cover that, because you know ho is broke as a joke. The judge also told him not to drive for 4 months and Pete like promised really bad that he wouldn't.

Which arrest was this one for? It was for an April arrest when he was arrested just three hours after he was sentenced for another charge.

How is this happening?! I honestly don't know how many times this trash ball has been arrested. If I would guess...I'd say 4,567 times. Yeah, that's a low ball figure. Blohan needs to move to London immediately. She could probably get away with snorting coke right in front of the courthouse!

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Jew-hater, Mel Gibson, has spoken out in favor of Michael Richards. In case you got caught in one of Britney's bagina lips, Michael Richards aka KKKramer has had a bad couple of weeks. He was caught using the "n" word over and over again which revealed that he's a huge fan of racial slurs.

Mel said, "I feel really badly for the guy. He was obviously in a state of stress. You don't need to be inebriated to be bent out of shape. But my heart went out to the guy. They'll probably torture him for a while and then let him go. I like him."

Of course Mel likes him, they have a lot in common. Stress is not an excuse! I know people that are ten times stressed out and you don't see them hitting their husbands or cursing at their kids...well bad example! They should still get married.

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Pete Doherty has found himself in rehab again after being arrested for being caught with crack last week. He has apparently been checked into a clinic in Portugal and will have the drug naltrexone, which reduces the craving for , implanted in his abdomen at the clinic at Oeiras, an oceanside suburb of Lisbon. Petey arrived last Tuesday.

Um...they could drain his blood and give him a new brain and he'd still be a crackhead. Let's be real folks...he looks hot in a skirt though.

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Blohan worked with Robert Altman last year and she seems pretty torn up about his death. Actually, she was probably coked out of her mind and had a blackberry handy where she could jot down her "thoughts." Here's her extremely long statement that gives War and Peace a run for its money. I will translate for you in BOLD:

"I would like to send my condolences out to Catherine Altman, Robert Altmans wife, as well as all of his immediate family, close friends, co-workers, and all of his inner circle.

"I am really high...this coke is good! You know some people say to get it from Colombia, but damn Mexican coke is better!"

"I feel as if I've just had the wind knocked out of me and my heart aches.

"I can't breathe this stuff is so good"

"If not only my heart but the heart of Mr. Altman's wife and family and many fellow actors/artists that admire him for his work and love him for making people laugh whenever and however he could..

"My heart is beating so fast, I need a valium to counter it."

"Robert altman made dreams possible for many independent aspiring filmmakers, as well as creating roles for countless actors.

"Oh and some think RoMan, that's what I called him, couldn't get it up. But he sure got it up when I was on my knees."

"I am lucky enough to of been able to work with Robert Altman amongst the other greats on a film that I can genuinely say created a turning point in my career.

"I had to swallow so he could give me lines on the movie."

"I learned so much from Altman and he was the closest thing to my father and grandfather that I really do believe I've had in several years. The point is, he made a difference.

"The point is...I'm high."

"He left us with a legend that all of us have the ability to do.

"I gave him the clap."

"So every day when you wake up. Look in the mirror and thank god for every second you have and cherish all moments. The fighting, the anger, the drama is tedious. Please just take each moment day by day and consider yourself lucky to breathe and feel at all and smile. Be thankful. Life comes once, doesn't 'keep coming back' and we all take such advantage of what we have. When we shouldn't..... ' Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of yourselves' (12st book) -everytime there's a triumph in the world a million souls hafta be trampled on.-altman Its true. But treasure each triumph as they come. If I can do anything for those who are in a very hard time right now, as I'm one of them with hearing this news, please take advantage of the fact that I'm just a phone call away.

"What am I talking about again?"

God Bless, peace and love always.

Thank You,

"BE ADEQUITE"

Lindsay Lohan

Adequite?! What's that? Seriously, what is that? Is that code for doing lines off her va-jay-jay?

Oh that girl and I also think she was high when she got the idea that she should do a Stevie Nicks biopic. Yup!

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Pete Doherty has been arrested. Unfortunately, he wasn't arrested for anything new. He was arrested Saturday when police saw him driving like a crazy person with another man and another woman. When police searched the car they found crack cocaine and arrested Petey and his two friends. The woman was not Kate Moss. He has been released on bail and ordered to return in December.

Petey was reported to be off drugs and clean, but we knew that was a load of bullshit. I do think that a good thing can come out of this for Pete. He's bound to be in the Guinness World Records for being the biggest crackhead or being arrested the most times without serving actual jail time.

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Thanks Shores4Now

Lindsay Lohan debuted some wrist scars while out in London. Lindsay has been wearing several bandages around her wrist in the past weeks and has since removed them revealing the cuts. Some people feel that she may be a "cutter."

Her rep denies this and says that she cut herself when falling into some bushes. When is this ho around bushes? The only bush she's around is...well you know where I'm going with this.

Anyway, the usually homebody Lohan partied hard last night in London. At the Donna Karan perfume launch party she even changed clothes twice. Apparently, Lindsay didn't wear underwear and sources say there are more photos of her showing that tired bagina of hers. Ugh, she's so transparent.

Trust me, this girl is not a cutter. She just wants attention. She got coked up and fell in some "bushes" like her rep said. End of story.

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Whitney Houston's $6 Million New Jersey home will go on the Sheriff's auction block on January 4, 2007, because nearly $1 million is owed in taxes unpaid. Whitney bought the home 9 years ago for $2.1 Million. OFF TOPIC - Everytime I hear "2.1 Million" I think of that damn Larry H. Parker commercial. Back on track, People Magazine reports:

Houston's estate encompasses two lots, with the lot for sale assessed at $889,300. The adjacent property is valued at more than $5.6million, reports the Daily Record. Houston purchased the properties nine years ago for $2.7 million. To pay off the mortgage, Houston was to shell out $4,711.18 per month from June 2004 until May 2034, for a total of about $1.7 million, the paper reports. If the past-due payments are made, the sale could be called off, says Gayl Spivak, an attorney representing Mortgage Electronic Registration Systems. Houston also has homes in California and Georgia. Through a secretary, Houston's publicist, Nancy Seltzer, told the Daily Record that the property was not in foreclosure. There has been no further comment.

Broke bitches! Is this the same mansion where he drug den was? That has to be a selling point. Not many mansions have their very own crack dens.