Bitch Got Booed
That picture just tells a thousand stories. I don't know if Justin Bieber is telling someone to pull his finger or he's giving an imaginary prostate exam while getting an imaginary prostate exam or his period leaked through his white pants and he's screaming for just one tampon. Just one. It's totally the latter.
And so the mutiny begins... The Beliebers are starting to turn and last night they dared to boo at their Canadian Jesus after he didn't show up on stage on time. E! News says that MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice's butt baby was supposed to take the stage at London's O2 Arena at 8:30, but he didn't start popping his pussy until after 10 and the fetuses in the audience were raging about it. One of the Biebs' fans, Sophia Lee, tells E! that after Carly Rae Jepsen opened, they kept waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting for The Lesbeaver to get on stage but he never did. Their nannies tried to calm them with a juice box and even rubbed their gums with a little extra-strength Benadryl liquid, but they kept screaming and eventually booed a bitch. Sophia Lee said:
"I was at the concert and he [Bieber] came out at 10:15 p.m. and Carly Rae Jepsen finished her set at 9:10 p.m.. Justin should have been out at 9:30. Everyone was kept waiting not knowing anything. All they did was kept playing Michael Jackson songs. All the fans were getting so annoyed at around 9:50 p.m., fans started booing. I stayed! But many people left early as the last underground train was at 12 a.m., so people needed to get home. He didn't even apologize. That's what makes it worse...My mom paid for five tickets so she's not happy."
The Biebs also let out a trail of sowwies on Twitter this morning and blamed the media for exaggerating shit.
We should give that baby douche a break, because he didn't know that taking an extra hit from his Playskool bong would put him in a weed-induced coma in his playpen for two hours and it's not his fault that his nanny didn't wake him up. But the average age of a Belieber is like 4, so he needs to think of all the children who needed to get up early for school today. Not only should the Biebs thinks about the children, but he should think about the children's teachers too. Those poor preschool teachers have to deal with a bunch of grumpy ass brats who are throwing tantrums and threatening to stab them in the knee with safety scissors, because they didn't get enough mimi times last night. I'm afraid of a lot of things, but a baby who hasn't slept is on the top of that list.
And here's some pictures from Justin's show, which looks like a televangelist concert at science museum.
Vadge somehow decided that the best way to respond to the political hate she's getting from the far-right for putting a swastika over the face of France's Front National party leader Marine Le Pen during her MDNA show was to celebrate the country's tolerance by performing in an intimate concert for 2,700 members of her fan club. Fans waited overnight to get a ticket to the show at the Olympia club in Paris last night. If you're about to put your morning cocktail on the ground to re-chill it since Hell has obviously frozen over now that Vadge has done something nice by giving her fans a free concert, don't. That show was far from free. Greedy bitch charged $100 to $350 for a ticket to see her wide open memaw crotch show.
But the show was streamed on YouTube for free and I checked into that mess about 20 minutes or so in. I was just in time to watch Professor Madge launch into a looooonger than looooong high school history lecture about Paris' significance as a cultural capital and then she said something about how we all need to come together as a people. Or something like that. I don't know, that's when I pulled out my Pee Chee folder and started to draw dick pictures in pencil on it.
Once Madge finished her speech, she didn't perform for that much longer. The show lasted only 45 minutes and many fans were not exactly farting out bombs of happiness over paying up to $350 for some short shit that included a long speech they could've read for free on a 9th grader's history paper. Some of Madge's fans think she should've used that rope as a noose, because she's dead to them now.
When the lights came up and it was clear Madge was not coming out again, fans launched water bottles at the stage and called her a "salope" (which apparently means "slut" or "bitch"). Get some of this pricelessness below:
Oh, France, thank you for that. But you know, Madge has built an entire career from being a salope, so I'm totally disappointed that she didn't come out while they were booing, bow and say, "MERCI, SALOPES!"
When Kris Humphries used the blood from a virgin goat to sign away his soul to the Kardashian Klan, he probably agreed to give a chunk of his future earnings to them and to also hand over his first non-Kardashian born, which will be sacrificed to the ultimate devil, Ryan Gaycrest, in exchange for 50 more seasons on E!. So Kris already had the sads knowing that a chunk of the $8 million he got from the New Jersey Nets for re-signing with them would be snatched up by Pimp Mama Kris' klaws. And Kris got kicked again when he didn't exactly receive a warm welcome at his first game. The Herp Derp Giant stumbled onto the court at Madison Square Garden last night and got showered with boos and laughs from Knicks fans. The audience reaction was basically the same one I got when I danced in a button down silk shirt to a Rhythm Syndicate song during my junior high school talent show.
Kris told reporters after game that he was so focused on the game that he says he didn't even notice the boos. Kris then said, "What is a boo, anyway? What does it sound like? Can you spell that out for me...slowly...slower... I like basketball."
This is why it's good to be as simple as Kris Humphries. Bitch can only operate two senses. So you can punch his ears with boos all you want, but the only thought in his head will be: basketball in hoop... basketball in hoop... basketball in hoop... cookies... basketball in hoop.
That being said, a "guilt by Kardashiation" boo is a beautiful boo.