Afternoon Crumbs

Ryan Lochte's reality show is going to make Jersey Shore look like a Mensa orientation video - Jezebel

Tom Hardy and his pit bull puppy should go on a double date with Anderson Cooper and Grumpy Cat - Lainey Gossip

If Glimmer from She-Ra went to a costume party as Ozzy Osbourne - The Berry 

If Bo from She-Ra shaved his stache, lost 30 pounds, got Tupperware titties and posed in a bikini - Drunken Stepfather

Justin Bieber is a spitter - The Superficial 

BREAKING: Money-hongray fame fucker trying to shake down a money-hongray fame fucker - Celebitchy

Robin Thicke and Pharrell's music video is filled with lady nips - (NSFW) Drunken Stepfather

Jenna Wolfe is a gayelle! Jenna Wolfe has a partner! Jenna Wolfe is having a baby! - Towleroad

Dr. 90210 being the consummate medical professional he is - Hollywood Tuna 

I'm sorry, Vanessa Hudgens, you can try to dress up your UGGs with unicorn jizz, but they're still UGGly - Popoholic

Words I thought I'd never type with one hand while pinching my nip with the other: Why, hello there, Adam Brody... - I'm Not Obsessed

And here's Amy Smart's nipples for your Wednesday afternoon - Moe Jackson 

Kendall Jenner is just as annoying and dumb as the other Kartrashians - ICYDK

Let's all be jealous of Sygmond The Grey's fleas, because they are living in luxury - Buzzfeed

Kate Upton makes nerd boners go soft by turning down that kid's invitation to prom - IDLYITW

It looks like Courteney Cox got a fresh layer of stretched Silly Putty glued to her face - Just Jared

What your end product would look like if your teacher asked you to make a diorama based on the theme "douche" - OMG Blog

Marisa Zanuck got fired from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - Reality Tea 

Kim Kardashian with mirror nipples - Popsugar

Oscar de la Renta's swollen bitch gene is still sore from Michelle Obama slapping at it by not wearing his clothes - Crunk + Disorderly 

Jesus resurrected himself just so the stunning German oyster jewel that is Micaela Schaefer could pose  almost-naked in public with a traumatized bunny rabbit. Happy Yeaster (typo and it's not going anywhere)! - Hollywood Tuna

St. Angie Jo temporarily replaced her huge tacky diamond engagement ring that said "I'M RICH, BITCH!" with a demure gold band that says "I am a serious Goodwill Ambassador" - Lainey Gossip 

Vanessa Hudgens' song for Spring Breakers murdered my ear drums - Drunken Stepfather

Will Smith only does roles that are as big as his overinflated ego - Celebitchy

On a positive note, at least Jim Carrey isn't stalking Emma Stone anymore - The Superficial 

Azealia Banks needs to shake out her mermaid weave, because it's full of delusions - Towleroad

That mannequin is way too manly to pass for Justin Bieber and he wishes he had shark fin arms - Jezebel

Here's the bloody, cut off ear that some batshit fan sent to Jared Leto. The Beliebers need to step up their crazy - Buzzfeed

James Franco on the Hathahaters and how he said no to Lindsay Lohan's freckled chocha - ICYDK

So basically Ashley Greene's neighbors tipped that candle onto the sofa with their minds - IDLYITW

Another day, another set of pictures of Kim Kartrashian looking the worst thing on a dim sum tray - Popoholic

Janice Dickinson or a SANS FARDS Pete Burns? - SOW

This is what Jonathan Taylor Thomas looks like today - Boy Culture 

Suri Cruise is officially taller than Tommy Girl even without heels on - Just Jared

The Photoshop Awards Hall of Fame - The Berry 

That haircut makes Tom Brady look like Leonardo DiCaprio's Gilbert Grape character all grown up - Popsugar

Lena Headey does Esquire - Hollywood Rag

BREAKING NEWS: The MTV Movie Awards don't mean shit - Videogum

Good news for the people of France, Halle Berry won't be terrorizing you full-time for a while - I'm Not Obsessed

The new World War Zzz trailer is out and Brad Pitt looks stoned as shit throughout all of it. Don't you hate it when the zombie apocalypse fucks with your high? - Videogum

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner kill all the marriage problem rumors with a good old-fashioned staged PDS (public displays of stuntin') session - Lainey Gossip 

Here's tons of cocktails for your Easter weekend, or you can do what I do and wrap your lips around a bowl full of Peeps and Strawberry Hill - The Berry 

Swimming with crocodiles is nothing for The Silver Fox. I mean, he's gone tanning with Snooki and that was way more dangerous and more hazardous to his health - Towleroad

If you're the crazy real-life Van Gogh bitch who cut off your ear and sent it to Jared Leto, he's wearing it as a necklace, FYI - Celebitchy

What is RiRi licking on today? - Drunken Stepfather

Courtney Stodden's transformation into Anna Nicole Smith is almost complete - Reality Tea

Hayden Panatroll and her jolly Ukrainian giant boyfriend went to a basketball game together - Hollywood Tuna 

Doutzen Kroes gave birth a couple of months ago and she obviously hasn't lost all the baby weight yet (served on a wet bed of sarcasm) - Popoholic

Amanda Bynes' family is going to step in to help her crazy ass as soon as they finish spending her money on booze and coke while partying with White Oprah - IDLYITW

Talentless fame whore vs. talentless fame whores - ICYDK

Waxed Italian man ass alert! - (NSFW) OMG Blog

Lily Tomlin almost did the "Yup, I'm Gay!" magazine cover before Ellen DeGeneres did it - Greg in Hollywood

These Jon Hamm pictures need less scarf and more Hammaconda - Just Jared

Attack of the Clones: Madge and Yoko Ono - Kenneth in the (212)

It's hard to take Details' Most Fuckable Celebrities list seriously when neither Angelyne nor Richard Simmons is on it - Boy Culture

Speaking of Angelyne... - Crunk + Disorderly

The Spice Girls will have to find another frozen mannequin to move her lips and point at the audience, because Posh is out! - I'm Not Obsessed

Posh can't be bothered with the Spice Girls, because she's way too busy posing on rolls of pink bubble wrap - Hollywood Rag

Princess Charlene of Monaco wore this for Pope Francis the Fist's debut at The Vatican, but she probably wears this same outfit every day to mourn the death of her freedom - Lainey Gossip 

Nobody put Gucci Mane and Kim Kardashian together or he'll slip into a coma from stage 5 boredom - The Superficial 

29 pictures that make me either want to spend the day fapping or spend the day using the ab roller that's collecting dust in the corner - The Berry 

Brangie's child army can only speak French to her - Celebitchy

Tina Fey as Sarah Palin 2016! - Towleroad

.....and then the machine broke - Drunken Stepfather

IN THIS ECONOMY, it was very financially smart for Heather Graham to re-wear the dress she wore to junior prom in 1986 - Hollywood Tuna 

I'll finally get more servings of La Bruja, because The Real Housewives of Miami has started filming again - Reality Tea 

Rose McGowan or Chrissy Crocker circa 2006 after a blowout? - Popoholic

If you like feeling emotions, here's a story about Dax Shepard's dying father meeting his unborn baby - ICYDK

Rebel Wilson might be in The Hunger Games.... - I'm Not Obsessed

Why you should never take "kill it with fire" literally - Gawker

And here's Kelly Brook getting out of a car - IDLYITW

Um, being married to Daniel Day-Lewis is like fucking a different man every night, because he always takes work home with him - Videogum

Lindsay Lohan should've stolen a bra during her little "shopping" trip - Just Jared

Are Duchess Kate and the Cub Scouts making campfire churros? - Popsugar

The ghost of Lindsay Lohan's future and the ghost of what could've been Blake Lively's future hung out together last night and this is why L.A. is all out of vodka and the good shit today - Lainey Gossip 

When Kim Kartrashian said during her deposition that she really loved Kris Humphries, she really meant that she loved all the MONAY and attention marrying him would bring - Celebitchy

Lindsay Lohan's attorney's son is also her part-time pimp - The Superficial 

CNN should pair Elisabeth Hasselcrack with Nancy Grace so they can shriek at each other until the ozone layer bursts and ends our misery - Towleroad

Girls Aloud is over forever and ever - Drunken Stepfather

Ashley Benson carries a book and wears glasses so she can look as smart as her Mensa president boyfriend James Franco - Hollywood Tuna 

Caroline Manzo of The Real Housewives of New Jersey thinks that all men, including her husband, have wandering peens - Reality Tea 

This blood-drinking crazy from My Strange Addiction makes me miss the piss-drinking crazy from My Strange Addiction - Gawker

Jimmy Fallon might replace Jay Leno sometime in the far future - ICYDK

Jamie Foxx's daughter is all grown up and looks like this in a bikini - Popoholic

The hot pieces of the new G.I. Joe movie - The Berry 

Taylor Swift has already chosen her next victim - IDLYITW

 Some actor type named Álex González has a peen and here it is - (NSFW) OMG Blog

I want to make wall-to-wall carpet out of Damian Lewis' hair - Just Jared

Ashton Kutcher is really some super genius who is fooling us all, FYI - Videogum

BREAKING: Ben Affleck's daughter got a haircut - Popsugar

I need to slap myself for mistaking Vanessa Hudgens for Lisa Bonet - Moe Jackson 

Is Kanye styling Rob Kartrashian too? - I'm Not Obsessed

Why Naomi Campbell is the new queen diva bitch of basic cable - Crunk + Disorderly

Duchess Kate and THE QUEEN visited the tube today and I'd like to think that THE QUEEN had to slap a trick down with her pocketbook after they wouldn't give up their seat to her - Lainey Gossip 

Daisy de la Whora still exists - Hollywood Tuna 

I hope somebody gets Vincent Kartheiser and Alexis Bledel a working toilet for an engagement present - Celebitchy

There goes whatever was left of Michelle Shocked's career - Towleroad

Beyonce is so graceful that this is how she queefs - Drunken Stepfather 

Justin "Just For Me" Timberlake's new music video is really, really long - The Berry 

Stacy Keibler celebrates her contract renewal with George Clooney by working the hell out of her forehead vein at an Escada event in Berlin - Popoholic

Miley Cyrus really wants you to see that she's wearing her hitchin' ring again - ICYDK

Teen Mom Farrah can afford a new nose and new tits, but apparently she can't afford to take a cab - Reality Tea 

Maybe it's because spring has sprung and I'm seriously hard up, but Snookitina's bought-and-paid-for-piece is looking sort of hot - Just Jared

Splash was a MESS. Case in point: This made the cut and Rudy from The Cosby Show didn't - IDLYITW

I love the Rainbow House, but living in it means that you have to live across the street from Shirley Phelps - OMG Blog

Lindsey Vonn used to make fun of Tiger Woods - Celebslam

The girl in the middle is smiling to forget about all the fleas and lice that are jumping in her hair - Popsugar

Gerard Butler looks like he's about to give head to that nose piece - I'm Not Obsessed

Too $hort is still too dumb - Vibe

R.I.P. Harry Reems - SOW

Brit Brit, Normal Guy Dave and a bodyguard all celebrate with a Frapp after capturing, killing and skinning a Yeti to make those boots. Savages. - ICYDK

Prince Hot Ginge did not hold Cressida Boner's hand in front of the paparazzi the other night, which in my head means that he's 25% closer to going gay like he said he would - Lainey Gossip

Bret Michaels ruined Eva Longoria's birthday - The Superficial 

Jake Shears of Scissor Sisters serenaded the Silver Fox with that hero song from Drive and it's nice and everything, but this song is nothing without slow motion shots of Ryan Gosling walking to his car - Towleroad

Rosario Dawson and Danny Boyle, the couple that random put together, broke up and probably hate each other now - Celebitchy

Obviously, we're supposed to be staring at Joanna Krupa's nips, but I'm too busy staring at her rubber cat mask of a face - Drunken Stepfather

Jennifer Love Hewitt plays her favorite pastime: man catching - Hollywood Tuna 

Blake NotSoLively tweets a picture from her cell phone and you probably won't recognize her with a top on - Popoholic

Pimp Mama Kris actually felt a tingling on her plastic face and it was from Elizabeth Taylor's spirit slapping the Botox out of her - Reality Tea

Sofia Vergara's chichis are a 32F, FYI - IDLYITW

James Franco in Bullett Magazine - Just Jared

And this is what the restaurants in my nightmares look like - OMG Blog

Scenes from inside Lindsay Lohan's locked down rehab center - The Berry 

Robert Pattinson shaved away every last tendril from the magical unicorn forest - Popsugar

Should've happened to Michael Lohan instead - Crunk + Disorderly

Yes, Girl Scout Cookie-flavored beer exists in this world - Jezebel

Which one's David Arquette? - SOW

It's a hard knock nooooooooo - Videogum

Brandi Glanville wants LeAnn Rimes to have a few foals of her own - I'm Not Obsessed

And it has a more charismatic personality too - Moe Jackson 

(Pic via FameFlynet)

The pristine pearl that is CoCo celebrates the day she rolled out of an oyster and she does so while a black straw tries to resist the urge to motoraboat her chichis - Hollywood Tuna

Your nana and Bradley Cooper have another thing in common. Not only do they both slobber all over Victor Garber, but they both maintain their beauty with the help of perm rods  - Lainey Gossip

Well, if Mel Gibson ever starts a football team, this dude will be the captain - Towleroad

K-Wellfed's FUPA can't and won't be tamed - The Superficial 

Finally, picture proof that Jodie Marsh's precious vagine is an infinite white light of holiness - (NSFW) Drunken Stepfather

GOOPY Paltrow almost died from having a miscarriage - Celebitchy

Vin Diesel's twin looks a lot like Vin Diesel in Find Me Guilty and I can't believe I still know that Find Me Guilty existed once - The Berry 

Carnie Wilson has Bell's palsy - ICYDK

Taylor Swift is either posing in a photo shoot or she's jumping on a trampoline to look over the wall that surrounds Harry Styles' house - Popoholic

Lil Wayne is alive, but he's still in a bad way - IDLYITW

The Bad Girls Club All-Star season should take place in a quarantine tent - Reality Tea

These Miley Cyrus bikini pictures look like grainy stills from an all-chipmunk version of The Legend of Billie Jean - Just Jared

And here's Chris Pratt's waxed ass - (NSFWish) OMG Blog

This is pretty much how I react when I have to go to a wedding too - Videogum

Hillary Clinton is all for gay marriage - Jezebel

Chris Hemsworth dipped his head in a bowl of peroxide and is still hot - Popsugar

Keyshia Cole will not bow down to Beyonce - Crunk + Disorderly

Danny Boyle is seriously sucking the hotness out of Rosario Dawson - I'm Not Obsessed

Liev Schreiber saves lives! - SOW

Mark-Paul Gosselaar was a Rock of Love Bus slut before Rock of Love Bus sluts existed. I still would. - Buzzfeed

England's finest rose Instagrams a picture of the world's finest and classiest pair panties. Make sure to put on your coattails and white gloves before clicking  - Drunken Stepfather

Jessica Biel needs to take off those net pants, turn around and put them in the FedEx truck behind her, because they need to go back to the year 1997 - Lainey Gossip

Since the perforated condom trick isn't working, Jennifer Love Hewitt is going to freeze her eggs - The Superficial 

I can almost hear the pained cries from that metal ring holding Tamara Eccelstone's bikini top together - Hollywood Tuna 

Benedict Cumsinbatches sings and sort of sounds like Morrissey with laryngitis -  Celebitchy

Khloe Kardashian needs to stop scaring the Silver Fox like this - Towleroad

I really thought the first picture was of Jada Pinkett Smith - The Berry 

The Photoshoppers at Brahma Beer are still doing weird things to Megan Fox's already plastic face - Popoholic

What lezzies think of peens (sadly, they didn't ask Rojo Caliente) - OMG Blog

Jordan Catalano basically went on the GOOP diet to lose 30 pounds - Just Jared

A KUWTK producer admits the obvious - IDLYITW

I think my sister has the same pink coat as Duchess Kate, except my sister's coat is covered with cat fur, taco sauce and subway dust - Popsugar

These pictures from the G.I. Joe premiere would be so much better if The Rock wasn't wearing so many clothes - Moe Jackson 

MiserAlba is trying to be the next GOOP - Celebslam

Now if only a judge will rule that the Kardashians need to be pulled off this planet - Popbytes

But what I really want to know is what's happening to the right - I'm Not Obsessed

This is what Nick Minaj looked like after Elle ripped off her cotton candy hooker wig, pulled out her caterpillar feet lashes and dropped a bucket of water on her head - Celebitchy

The Texas T-Rex has stopped fighting the hotness for his art, but more importantly did his arms grow? - Lainey Gossip 

Something to make your genitals run up inside your body: a Pimp Mama Kris sex tape might exist - The Superficial 

Nicki Minaj's ass is a sturdy place to hold your beverage while you're lying in the jacuzzi - Drunken Stepfather

Kat Graham went blond and I've never noticed this before, but has she always had a Vanilla Ice brow? - Hollywood Tuna 

Who ever dug the popped up collar out of its grave should be dragged all the way to hell...by their popped up collar - Towleroad

Matthew Broderick and his twins look like J. Crew exploded all over them - ICYDK

Jenna Dewan should be Kim Kartrashian's maternity stylist. No, I take that back, because nothing fills my dead heart with happiness like seeing Kim Kartrashian looking like two tons of messiness - Popoholic

Maxim's offices: where time stopped in 1998 - IDLYITW

Pruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuune - Just Jared

This list of crappy celebrity tattoos is null and void without Harry Styles' tribute to Mimi tattoo - The Berry 

Penelope Cruz's pregnant ass looks good in a two piece and everything, but I'd rather see pictures of Javier Bardem in a banana hammock - Popsugar

GLAAD bans The New York Post from going to their awards show - Boy Culture 

The glitter-covered Honey Baked Ham of Atlanta finally gets his own show - Crunk + Disorderly

And after Larry King said "my place," he pulled up to a crypt - Videogum

Lil Kim is looking like my uncle in drag as Kimora Lee Simmons - Moe Jackson 

But I want to know is if this picture was taken before or after James Franco sat on that popsicle - Celebslam

Jennifer Aniston asks Charlize Theron for adoption advice - I'm Not Obsessed

The American Idol producers should've just put a bewigged Furby in Nicki Minaj's chair. Nobody would've known the difference - SOW