Afternoon Crumbs

This exquisite portrait of Khia in a Gators towel toga needs to be the University of Florida's official seal - Crunk + Disorderly

James Franco uses over 300 words to say that he fingered himself all through Ryan Gosling's new movie - Lainey Gossip

My favorite Republican ice sculpture is starring in a play about the Prop 8 trials in Phoenix - Towleroad

Vanessa Hudgens and Ashley Tisdale do a really good job of hiding their faces from the paps - Drunken Stepfather

And Goopy Paltrow went on to say, "...but still don't let that heffa anywhere near me, because if it burps in my direction I'll gain 10 pounds" - The Superficial 

James McAvoy is okay with your crotch fur, by the way - Celebitchy

So I'm still watching 90210, because I'm a ride or die bitch until the end, and there's a character on there named Adriana. They call her AID for short, so when they say they're going to her house, they'll say something like, "Hey, let's hang out at Aid's house." It makes me awkwardly laugh every time. Do the writers even realize? Anyway, here's Aid in a bikini - Hollywood Tuna 

Victoria Justice's dress has a weird growth on it - Popoholic

My day was made as soon as I scrolled down to #6 and thought that a huge, fat burrito peen was flopping out of his pants - The Berry 

Kellan Lutz is playing Hercules, because there's only so many actors in Hollywood who have six-packs on their nipples and can bench press two Hummers at a time - ICYDK

What in exploding Jo-Ann's Fabrics hell are these people wearing? - Just Jared

Barbie SANS FARDS - SOW

Daniel Craig and Rachel Weisz are going to be on Broadway together - Popsugar

The National Enquirer screams out GAY SEX HORROR like it's a bad thing - Boy Culture 

Does this mean we'll finally get a Noxeema Jackson biopic? - Videogum

This is what it looks like when Jessica Alba's butt munches on her bikini bottom - Moe Jackson 

Kim Cattrall has been a diet since 1974 - I'm Not Obsessed 

For once, I'm going to thank Brit Brit for decorating her feet with the official footwear of Hell, because those UGGs are distracting me from her possible camel toe situation - Just Jared

In case you want to fill your ear holes with a few bars of Beyonce's cover of "Back to Black" - Lainey Gossip

EJ Johnson can protect himself by beating a trick with his pocket book, but Magic Johnson has his back just in case - Towleroad

And here's Heidi Klum's uncensored life-saving nip - The Superficial 

Ryan Gosling's new movie just looks like Drive in Bangkok, but I'd still let him drag me around by my mouth - Jezebel

Ivanka Trump is working working working working working always working - Celebitchy

Mimi needs to visit the Gay Mermtailor of Florida if she really wants to be a magical mermaid - Drunken Stepfather

Today's Jill Martin is in a two piece and in his office at 30 Rock, Matt Lauer just shut the door and grabbed the lotion - Hollywood Tuna

I wish Mrs. Roper was still alive today so she could show that trick MiserAlba how to really wear that caftan - Popoholic

Oh, Matthew Lillard, you have to take off John Stamos' clothes before you try to suck off his nipple knob - The Berry 

Thank every God for pixelated bars - ICYDK

Another day, another Real Housewives of New Jersey brawl - Reality Tea

If that really is Sisquo's peen, then Sisquo's peen has been through some serious shit - (NSFW) OMG Blog

Rob Kartrashian and Pimp Mama Kris look like fools, but what else is new? - Moe Jackson

RPattz duckfaces it in Los Feliz while holding hands with KStew - Popsugar

Is this Jay Leno's recreation of the Kim Kardashian sex tape? - SOW

Taylor Swift goes shopping for groceries, manages not to catch herself a new boyfriend while doing so - I'm Not Obsessed

What do you expect with a name like Daddy Yankee? - Queerty

What's the most elegant thing about this picture of CoCo? Her exquisite lucite heels or that wandering ass implant? - HuffPo 

Amanda Bynes does something Lindsay Lohan should've done years ago: claim that her evil twin is the one who's terrorizing the streets - Lainey Gossip 

Trash made out of trash - Towleroad

So now Johnny Depp knows why he has anal warts on his eyeballs - The Superficial 

That dog's face (the dog face on the right) is saying everything that needs to be said about She-Pratt - Drunken Stepfather

I am almost didn't recognize Lucy Pinder without her nipple knobs out - Hollywood Tuna 

For the zero of you out there who didn't know that the Kartrashians are greedy, money-hungry, low pieces of unethical trash - Celebitchy

Olivia Palermo and her dude look like the Gossip Girl costume closet took a giant shit all over them - The Berry 

That dude on the right is totally trying to figure out who that is. (You and everybody else, dude) - Popoholic

And you know Beyonce is still going to somehow get a writing credit for her cover of "Back to Black" - ICYDK

Yeah, sure, whatever, when I show up to the Animal Practice set in a Bane costume and wave my fist at Tom Hardy, security escorts me away  - Just Jared

MTV is going to pay for Shain Gandee's funeral after all (which totally means that they're going to broadcast live from it. RATINGS!) - Reality Tea

Today in sad, Roger Ebert's cancer is back and he's taking a leave of presence - Videogum

Is Courtney Love about to do a bump off of that guitar in the 5th pic? - OMG Blog

Rachel McAdams went ginge - Popsugar

Personally, I'd rather watch Mike O'Brien tickle The Hammaconda - The Frisky 

It took me a couple of eye blinks to realize this wasn't a twink from One Direction - SOW

Glitter-covered dandelion Richard Simmons actually leaft the house with his pantyhose covered - I'm Not Obsessed

Attack of the Cloned Fame Whores - Moe Jackson

I really hope this cover of British GQ doesn't give those evil bitches in Hollywood any ideas, because we don't need a Pretty Woman remake and I don't need to hear Hermione Granger say, "I got a runner in my pantyhose!" - Hollywood Tuna

Rosario Dawson and Michael Fassbender might be doing it - Lainey Gossip

I think it's about that time for us to introduce Michelle Shocked to Brit Brit's old friend 5150 - Towleroad

Lindsay Lohan has a ghost face of bruises on her leg - Drunken Stepfather

And here's RiRi getting swallowed up by a sink hole - The Superficial 

Audrey Hepburn didn't think she was beautiful.... I hope nobody up there tells her that someone in Hollywood thought Jennifer Love Hewitt was beautiful enough to play her or she'll really go over the edge - Celebitchy

Hayden Panettiere wants some little treasure trollings one day - Just Jared

A star cookie necklace and a color coding sticker one piece still can't make Rachel Bilson look like she has a personality - Popoholic

St. Angie Jolie is opening up an all-girls school in Afghanistan and it'll be the perfect place for her to hunt for virgin blood - Just Jared

This list of baconified stuff is Mama June's version of Brazzers - The Berry 

Robin Thicke's publicity stunt got him more publicity - IDLYITW

Shain Gandee's family can't afford to pay for his funeral - Reality Tea

And here's the Naked Guy from Shameless being naked - (NSFW) OMG Blog

Courtney Love is hawking NJOY now, which means that NJOY will start selling an electronic heroin pipe any second - Jezebel

I love how Hayden Panettiere can make out with Wladimir Klitschko's nipple without bending down - Popsugar

Adam Levine on how he's avoiding divorce - I'm Not Obsessed

Little Bunny Doo Doo and a sedated turtle - Hollywood Rag

How did somebody record the hallucinations I had the last time I dropped acid? - Videogum

The Difficult Brown goes on the Today show and proclaims that he's a changed man. You and your April Fools' jokes are so funny, Fist Brown - Gawker

Tommy Girl assumes the position in Moscow - Lainey Gossip

Making Lindsay Lohan suck on Charlie Sheen's corroded face is one way to get her to finally brush her teeth - Drunken Stepfather

You know you're hungover when you're still saying "I'd hit it" after looking at picture #2 - The Berry 

The saddest part of this news is that now Benjamin Walker won't have Meryl Streep as a mother-in-law anymore, because I hear she gets the best weed - Celebitchy

Eve (remember her?) and Gabe from Cobra Starship made an anti-bullying anthem together - Towleroad

Brit Brit should really open up her own Museum of Fugly Boots - Hollywood Tuna 

Lindsay Lohan's parched weave stops a nip slip situation from happening - The Superficial 

Either Kate Beckinsale is sticking her ass out because she's giving the paps a real show or she's just trying to poot out a doody bubble - Popoholic

Snooki's motherly advice to Kim Kartrashian - Skinny vs Curvy

Shain Gandee from Buckwild might've died from carbon monoxide poisoning - Reality Tea

Ryan Cabrera still has hair like a drowned guinea pig - ICYDK

These pictures of Katy Perry hiking remind me of how all my friends in L.A. are constantly asking me to go to hiking. All people want to do in L.A. is HIKE! Unless there's a pile of usable dicks at the top of that hill, I'll get my daily dose of exercise from walking from the sofa to the fridge to get another wine cooler, thankyouverymuch - IDLYITW

Tom Daly and his new pig should star in a prequel to Babe - OMG Blog

Mekhi Phifer got married - Just Jared

RPattz looks like the loneliest paddleboarder in the ocean Popsugar

File this under "lies that Pimp Mama Kris tells the tabloids." Kim Kartrashian is faking the fat to get a Weight Watchers contract - I'm Not Obsessed

The official poster for the Broadway production of Romeo & Juliet starring Orlando Bloom and Condola Rashad looks a low-budget ad for Cialis - SOW

Debbie Reynolds throws some shade at the dearly departed Leslie Nielsen - Boy Culture

Kiki Dunst is wearing a gummy worm leather fringe vest (because why not?) on BULLETT Magazine and I don't know if she's fingering a ghost or throwing gang signs, but I definitely feel threatened either way - Celebitchy

This is how Shia LaDouche is fucking with Alec Baldwin - Lainey Gossip

Even Tamara Eccelstone's colonoscopy exams look fancy - Drunken Stepfather 

Those joints look like twisted peens with smoking nipples, but Willie Nelson is still an international treasure - Towleroad

But when is it going to be #NoTowelThursday? - The Berry 

My mom has at least 5 boxes of mom clothes from the early 90s and I'm sure she'd love to sell them to Vanessa Hudgens and Little Sister Hudgens - Hollywood Tuna

Adriana Lima shows you that you can be the vision of elegance with just an old white drape and some white masking tape - Popoholic

Correction: The call girls love Corey Feldman's money - ICYDK

I don't even have a vagina and my vagina hurt while I read this story - Jezebel

Alternate title: Actresses with meth mouth - OMG Blog

I'm sure Lindsay Lohan gave Charlie Sheen a lazy handy in his trailer, so she earned that bracelet, thankyouverymuch - IDLYITW

My Girl is having a babeh - The Marquee Blog

Demi Lovato's eyebrows will be on The X-Factor again next season - Just Jared

Vicki from The Real Housewives of Orange County went from looking like Droopy Dog to looking like an egg with lashes - Reality Tea

Olivier Martinez's beach outfit is not it - Popsugar

Olivier Martinez's beach outfit is not it, the sequel - Moe Jackson

The hell is Chupa's child wearing? - I'm Not Obsessed

Live from the Glittery Gays of YouTube road show - Boy Culture

The time Sesame Street joined a future lady beater and a boy toucher together - Crunk + Disorderly

Ryan Lochte's reality show is going to make Jersey Shore look like a Mensa orientation video - Jezebel

Tom Hardy and his pit bull puppy should go on a double date with Anderson Cooper and Grumpy Cat - Lainey Gossip

If Glimmer from She-Ra went to a costume party as Ozzy Osbourne - The Berry 

If Bo from She-Ra shaved his stache, lost 30 pounds, got Tupperware titties and posed in a bikini - Drunken Stepfather

Justin Bieber is a spitter - The Superficial 

BREAKING: Money-hongray fame fucker trying to shake down a money-hongray fame fucker - Celebitchy

Robin Thicke and Pharrell's music video is filled with lady nips - (NSFW) Drunken Stepfather

Jenna Wolfe is a gayelle! Jenna Wolfe has a partner! Jenna Wolfe is having a baby! - Towleroad

Dr. 90210 being the consummate medical professional he is - Hollywood Tuna 

I'm sorry, Vanessa Hudgens, you can try to dress up your UGGs with unicorn jizz, but they're still UGGly - Popoholic

Words I thought I'd never type with one hand while pinching my nip with the other: Why, hello there, Adam Brody... - I'm Not Obsessed

And here's Amy Smart's nipples for your Wednesday afternoon - Moe Jackson 

Kendall Jenner is just as annoying and dumb as the other Kartrashians - ICYDK

Let's all be jealous of Sygmond The Grey's fleas, because they are living in luxury - Buzzfeed

Kate Upton makes nerd boners go soft by turning down that kid's invitation to prom - IDLYITW

It looks like Courteney Cox got a fresh layer of stretched Silly Putty glued to her face - Just Jared

What your end product would look like if your teacher asked you to make a diorama based on the theme "douche" - OMG Blog

Marisa Zanuck got fired from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - Reality Tea 

Kim Kardashian with mirror nipples - Popsugar

Oscar de la Renta's swollen bitch gene is still sore from Michelle Obama slapping at it by not wearing his clothes - Crunk + Disorderly 

Jesus resurrected himself just so the stunning German oyster jewel that is Micaela Schaefer could pose  almost-naked in public with a traumatized bunny rabbit. Happy Yeaster (typo and it's not going anywhere)! - Hollywood Tuna

St. Angie Jo temporarily replaced her huge tacky diamond engagement ring that said "I'M RICH, BITCH!" with a demure gold band that says "I am a serious Goodwill Ambassador" - Lainey Gossip 

Vanessa Hudgens' song for Spring Breakers murdered my ear drums - Drunken Stepfather

Will Smith only does roles that are as big as his overinflated ego - Celebitchy

On a positive note, at least Jim Carrey isn't stalking Emma Stone anymore - The Superficial 

Azealia Banks needs to shake out her mermaid weave, because it's full of delusions - Towleroad

That mannequin is way too manly to pass for Justin Bieber and he wishes he had shark fin arms - Jezebel

Here's the bloody, cut off ear that some batshit fan sent to Jared Leto. The Beliebers need to step up their crazy - Buzzfeed

James Franco on the Hathahaters and how he said no to Lindsay Lohan's freckled chocha - ICYDK

So basically Ashley Greene's neighbors tipped that candle onto the sofa with their minds - IDLYITW

Another day, another set of pictures of Kim Kartrashian looking the worst thing on a dim sum tray - Popoholic

Janice Dickinson or a SANS FARDS Pete Burns? - SOW

This is what Jonathan Taylor Thomas looks like today - Boy Culture 

Suri Cruise is officially taller than Tommy Girl even without heels on - Just Jared

The Photoshop Awards Hall of Fame - The Berry 

That haircut makes Tom Brady look like Leonardo DiCaprio's Gilbert Grape character all grown up - Popsugar

Lena Headey does Esquire - Hollywood Rag

BREAKING NEWS: The MTV Movie Awards don't mean shit - Videogum

Good news for the people of France, Halle Berry won't be terrorizing you full-time for a while - I'm Not Obsessed

The new World War Zzz trailer is out and Brad Pitt looks stoned as shit throughout all of it. Don't you hate it when the zombie apocalypse fucks with your high? - Videogum

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner kill all the marriage problem rumors with a good old-fashioned staged PDS (public displays of stuntin') session - Lainey Gossip 

Here's tons of cocktails for your Easter weekend, or you can do what I do and wrap your lips around a bowl full of Peeps and Strawberry Hill - The Berry 

Swimming with crocodiles is nothing for The Silver Fox. I mean, he's gone tanning with Snooki and that was way more dangerous and more hazardous to his health - Towleroad

If you're the crazy real-life Van Gogh bitch who cut off your ear and sent it to Jared Leto, he's wearing it as a necklace, FYI - Celebitchy

What is RiRi licking on today? - Drunken Stepfather

Courtney Stodden's transformation into Anna Nicole Smith is almost complete - Reality Tea

Hayden Panatroll and her jolly Ukrainian giant boyfriend went to a basketball game together - Hollywood Tuna 

Doutzen Kroes gave birth a couple of months ago and she obviously hasn't lost all the baby weight yet (served on a wet bed of sarcasm) - Popoholic

Amanda Bynes' family is going to step in to help her crazy ass as soon as they finish spending her money on booze and coke while partying with White Oprah - IDLYITW

Talentless fame whore vs. talentless fame whores - ICYDK

Waxed Italian man ass alert! - (NSFW) OMG Blog

Lily Tomlin almost did the "Yup, I'm Gay!" magazine cover before Ellen DeGeneres did it - Greg in Hollywood

These Jon Hamm pictures need less scarf and more Hammaconda - Just Jared

Attack of the Clones: Madge and Yoko Ono - Kenneth in the (212)

It's hard to take Details' Most Fuckable Celebrities list seriously when neither Angelyne nor Richard Simmons is on it - Boy Culture

Speaking of Angelyne... - Crunk + Disorderly

The Spice Girls will have to find another frozen mannequin to move her lips and point at the audience, because Posh is out! - I'm Not Obsessed

Posh can't be bothered with the Spice Girls, because she's way too busy posing on rolls of pink bubble wrap - Hollywood Rag

Princess Charlene of Monaco wore this for Pope Francis the Fist's debut at The Vatican, but she probably wears this same outfit every day to mourn the death of her freedom - Lainey Gossip 

Nobody put Gucci Mane and Kim Kardashian together or he'll slip into a coma from stage 5 boredom - The Superficial 

29 pictures that make me either want to spend the day fapping or spend the day using the ab roller that's collecting dust in the corner - The Berry 

Brangie's child army can only speak French to her - Celebitchy

Tina Fey as Sarah Palin 2016! - Towleroad

.....and then the machine broke - Drunken Stepfather

IN THIS ECONOMY, it was very financially smart for Heather Graham to re-wear the dress she wore to junior prom in 1986 - Hollywood Tuna 

I'll finally get more servings of La Bruja, because The Real Housewives of Miami has started filming again - Reality Tea 

Rose McGowan or Chrissy Crocker circa 2006 after a blowout? - Popoholic

If you like feeling emotions, here's a story about Dax Shepard's dying father meeting his unborn baby - ICYDK

Rebel Wilson might be in The Hunger Games.... - I'm Not Obsessed

Why you should never take "kill it with fire" literally - Gawker

And here's Kelly Brook getting out of a car - IDLYITW

Um, being married to Daniel Day-Lewis is like fucking a different man every night, because he always takes work home with him - Videogum

Lindsay Lohan should've stolen a bra during her little "shopping" trip - Just Jared

Are Duchess Kate and the Cub Scouts making campfire churros? - Popsugar