To Fap Or Not To Fap
When I first saw these pictures last night, I cringed so hard I turned straight for a quick second before turning gay again. The sight of The Silver Fox putting his mouth on Madge while she was dressed like a cub scout made my sexuality spin a full 360 degrees and back again. All of Anderson Cooper's big gay dreams came true last night when he accepted the Vito Russo Award from Scoutmaster Madge at the GLAAD Awards in NYC last night. Every coconut flake on my Samoa burnt, curled and fell off.
Madge came to the GLAAD Awards dressed in complete cub scout drag to let the Boy Scouts of America know that as long as they stay anti-gay, she'll never enroll Baby Brahim in their organization. (Click here to see Madge's speech.) Madge is kind of giving me a "Little Debbie's memaw in a remake of Troop Beverly Hills" vibe. Speaking of Troop Beverly Hills, I know the Girl Scouts and the Boy Scouts are totally different, but Madge still missed an opportunity to do a disco remix version of COOKIE TIME! That really would've given the GLAAD Awards the ultimate gay moment it needed.
And here's Anderson getting himself a mouthful of Madge while accepting his award last night:
You know that part where he thanks his partner Benjamin? Yeah, I already dubbed over that to make him say, "my stalker Michael K."
I know your nipples knobs are barely hanging on to your areolas since you almost rubbed them off while eye drooling at those pictures of a topless Sean Penn looking like Tarzan's drunk uncle who shoots his arms veins up with homemade roids, but I'm sure you will find a way to rub your nipples some more to these pictures of Jude Law getting wet in Maui.
I totally would for 3 reasons:
1. If you waxed that pussy muff on top of his head, he'd have a glorious hairline like Beetlejuice after a haircut. Or like the dude from Love It or List It.
2. Jude's chest fur looks like a hairy shadow and it only accentuates his man pecs.
3. I'm guessing that the carpet matches the drapes and by that I mean, Jude totally prunes his crotch bush into the shape of a Batman mask so it matches his hairline.
And all those 3 things put together = SWOOOOON right out of your chonies.