JLo

Marc Anthony has no business getting that close to a camera. I can barely take him from afar. Imagine waking up to that? No wonder JLo is a straight-up BITCH, she wakes up running from her life every morning. Anyhoo (ugh I hate that term), brought a little sex and death to the Premio Lo Nuestro a la Música Latina 2007 in Miami last evening. JLo looks hot from the neck up, but that dress is one of Oksana Bauil's old ones. Ice Capades! I can't even comment on Skeletor. That shiny suit was probably meant to make him look at least half alive, but it's not working. Somebody do CPR on him or something! Damn.

Why do JLo and Skeletor insist on being affectionate in public? It's NOT HOT. I loved them much more when they kept their "business" on the down low. Nobody has to know. Here's these two at the Berlin Film Festival this evening for "Bordertown."

Did Jennifer Lopez get some work? Is it just me or does she look completely different? It also looks like her skin sucked up any color Skeletor had in his face. She looks hot in a mob-wife sort of way. Here's the two at an event honoring Gianni and Donatella Versace in Beverly Hills last night.

Jennifer Lopez has confessed that her father, David Lopez, has been practicing Scientology for the past 20 years. JLo was raised Catholic, but she embraces all spiritual beliefs. It has been rumored for months that JLo is considering switching to Scientology, because of her association with Tom Cruise.

She said, "I'm not a scientologist, I was raised Catholic. But it's funny the way people come at it. To me it's so strange. These are some of the best people I've ever met in my life. You know, they're just lovely, genuine people. They way they ask is such a, 'Uh, are you (a scientologist)?' It's such a negative thing and I just don't see it that way."

I give it three months before JLO and Skeletor board the mothership. Dumb ass. It's such a waste of money. Hopefully, she'll listen to Posh Beckham and buy a pair of Louboutins instead of giving those crazies her cash.

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"The Pursuit of Happyness" premiere brought the crazies and walking dead out last night. TomKat joined Jennifer Lopez and Skeletor in celebrating with Will Smith. JLo looked like a ghost next to her half-dead husband.

Is it just me or is Tom Cruise 10-pounds of sugar in a 5-pound sack. You know homegirl is wearing a girdle underneath that getup. His buttons are about to pop! Katie doesn't notice, because she's too busy laughing to keep from crying.

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Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Posh Beckham, JLo and Skeletor all had a meal together at Wolfgang Puck's The Cut restaurant in Los Angeles last night. Well, the rest had a meal while Posh drank Diet Coke. She doesn't like the taste of water you know. What on Earth do these people talk about?

Methinks Katie just grins and never blinks, Posh looks down a lot and looks at herself in the silver knife, Tom flirts with Skeletor and JLo goes on and on about her empire.

Since they obviously wanted to be scene they really should've called in a stylist and had all their looks put together. They are a mess.

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I'm sure Jennifer Lopez isn't too happy about a biopic of her life that's about to be released. The spoof film is called JHo: Jenny on the Cock and yup it's porn. Ha. Pornstar, Jasmine Byrne, plays the title role and has waited her entire career for a role like this.

She said, “I always loved Jennifer Lopez, you know J-Lo doing her singing and acting and this movie is such a fun adventure that I jumped at the chance to do it."

Ooooh, JHo's not going to be happy! Do you think they are screening a copy at the TomKat wedding? Probs. This is probably the most accurate portrayal of Jennifer Lopez's career. She should be proud.

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Jennifer Lopez, Skeletor, Jim Carrey, Jada Pinkett Smith and Brooke Shields have arrived in Rome for TomKat's big wedding bonanza which starts tomorrow and continued through the weekend. Katie's parents also arrived and our among the 500 guests including Posh and Becks.

Katie's father said, "We are very excited for Tom and Katie!" How much did they give him to say that? Poor thing."

Marc looks like he didn't get a wink of sleep on that flight, actually a wink sleep ever in his life. But what has changed?

I think Marc Anthony's skeleton face is rubbing off on JLo. What the hell is going on with that make-up? Who told her that using baby powder under the eyes looks hot. She probably thought it would give her a glow. Other than her face, she looks hot at the Ace Awards in NYC last night. I'm not sure what she's carrying in that little box, but she sure feels sexy about it. Bitch needs to stop trying to be a sex pot, it doesn't work!