JLo

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Monday, June 11th 2007

Torch The Float!

 
JLo and Skeletor continued their "Make Me Vomit" tour by showing up at yesterday's Puerto Rican Day Pride parade in NYC. Skeletor sang some song while JLo sort of stood there and held a flag. Awww...I must say that I'm surprised JLo is still with the same man...I mean same skeleton. I guess it is true love! Perhaps, JLo is addicted to that bone! Literally. 
 
 
 
Posted by: Michael K
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Thursday, May 31st 2007

Yawnsville

 
Oh, it's them. JLo and Skeletor attended the Annual Childrens Fund Gala in NYC last night. Haven't seem them in a while and haven't really missed them. They always pose with their heads touching, too. Like siamese twins. They look aight. Not really, but I'm too bored with them to say anything bad.
 
That dress reminds me that I need more cream in my coffee. Be right back. 
 
 
Posted by: Michael K
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Monday, May 14th 2007

Leah Remini is Not Trying to Convert JLo

 
Leah Remini is a member of the crazy Scientologists and JLo is rumored to be a member. The two have been hanging out a lot lately sparking rumors that Leah is trying to get her ass! Leah said that she isn't trying to convert her big-bootied friend.
 
She said, "Two girls can't hang out together? What does that have to do with religion? I just don't understand it. I would never question, "Such-and-such is hanging out. Does anybody know her religious beliefs? Because that's why they're probably hanging out together." She's a fabulous girl. I'm fabulous to hang out with. But it's like, "What could these two have in common? She must be trying to convert her!" 
 
"I read once that I was trying to get Jennifer to do Scientology because it helps with fertility. I don't know what that's about. That's bull – that we're sitting there at the Polo Lounge talking about fertility. I think Jennifer knows how to get pregnant."
 
First of all, it grossed me out that she said she's "fabulous" to hang out with. Second of all, she's not trying to convert JLo, because JLo is probably already one of them!  
 
Source: People
 
 
Posted by: Michael K
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Thursday, May 10th 2007

Slaughtering JLo

 
Skeletor has urged his wife, JLo, to beef up her security after several "death threats" have been arriving to their doorstep. Animal rights groups want to see the fur lover "killed in public and slaughtered like the animals whose fur she wears."
 
Skeletor apparently hired two off-duty coppers to protect his booty. JLo's rep shoots down the claims. Peta however said, "All violence is wrong. But J.Lo needs to stop the real violence she promotes and subsidizes rather than give herself extra protection she doesn't need."
 
Those animal rights hos are straight-up NUTS! If I was a celebrity I wouldn't wear fur for that reason alone! They will hunt you down and skin you alive. It would kind of take the a long time to slaughter her ass. I mean she is all meat.
 
Source: NYDN
 
 
Posted by: Michael K
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Sunday, April 22nd 2007

Stripper Pants

 
Let's say you wanted some fringed, sparkly bell bottoms. Where the HELL would you buy em? Your two options are either a stripper store or a drag queen store. I think those are even too low-class for Frederick's.
 
JLo popped on a wig and some stripper pants for a night out on the town in London  with her own adopted orphan.
 
 
 
Posted by: Michael K
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Monday, April 16th 2007

JLo & Skeletor Sue!

 
JLo and Marc Anthony are asking for six-figures from The National Enquirer for running a story that tied the couple to a drug scandal. The story ran in Britian and Ireland and claimed the couple were "caught up in a heroin scandal" -- and reprinted a 2004 picture of Anthony standing beside photographer Michael Star, who is facing charges of heroin possession and child pornography in the U.S.
 
The story also ran in International markets. The couple also seek an apology.
 
Heroin?! That's what Skeletor has, heroin face!
 
Source: AP
 
Posted by: Michael K
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Tuesday, April 10th 2007

Nothing to Cheer About

 
JLo spent the last few weeks dragging Skeletor around the World promoting her Spanish-language album "Como Ama Una Mujer." Unfortunately, all the work really didn't pay off. Her album sold only 49,452 and debuted at #10 on the charts. A repackaged Elton John's greatest hits album was ahead of her. Billboard thinks this is a success since she makes history with the highest sales of a Spanish album debut, inclusive of English and Latin artists.
 
However, it's not a great debut for JLo as an music artist. Let's be honest, her music days are numbered. 
 
JLo will also test her musical skills when she mentors the kids on "American Idol" tonight. I really, really, really hope Sanjaya does "Jenny From the Block." 
 
 
 
Posted by: Michael K
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Tuesday, April 3rd 2007

JLo Goes to Jury Duty

 
Thrilling isn't it? JLo reported for jury duty in Beverly Hills with her assistant yesterday. After a few hours of waiting, the judge dismissed the case and JLo was free to go. God this is lame.
 
I totally had jury duty yesterday too, but I didn't show up. I'm so going to get arrested. Luckily, I postponed until like 2008. Hopefully the whole jury system will be cancelled by then or something.
 
 
Thanks Kath
 
 
 
Posted by: Michael K
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Monday, March 26th 2007

That Ass

Long time no see! JLo brought out her biggest asset in Berlin yesterday. She was in town to attend the Echo awards later that night. She looks hot in the day, but a mess in the night.

Her dress looks like one of Joan Collins' old ones. Let's not talk about Skeletor. There's nothing more to say.

Posted by: Michael K
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Sunday, March 11th 2007

All An Act

Jennifer Lopez and Skeletor tell the media that everything is lovely and they adore each other...blah...blah...blah...but inside sources say that they are on the brink of falling a part. JLo doesn't have a very good track record since she's been married 3 times and linked to every dick in Hollywood.

Children and Scientology seem to be their biggest issues. JLo doesn't want to be knocked up right now and Skeletor is really into the crazy cult. Um...probably cause he wants to knock bones with some Tom Cruise.

The source said, "There was a fight after she performed at the Super Bowl, and when she had an album-listening party in Miami two months ago, there was an issue."

According to this source, Lopez stood up and talked about her upcoming album and said, "This is my dream and Marc and I worked so hard on this album . . . Marc, would you like to say something?" - to which Anthony coldly said, "No," and looked away."

Yeah, their days are numbered. She's a bitch and he has to return his soul to the last virgin on Earth soon. Seriously, I'm surprised they lasted this long.

Source

Posted by: Michael K
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