Would You Hit It?

 

Life isn't fair. It's raining here in NYC and effin Paul Shore is on the beaches of Maui with his plastic-tittied girlfriend. Paul effin Shore! Anyway, his shit isn't as bad as I think it would be. He looks like he has pencil dick though. That makes it easy to go in, but once it's in you can't feel shit! That being said, yes I'd hit it. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Adam Levine of Maroon 5 definitely looks better with his clothes on. He's standing there like "I'm totally hot" and it's totally not. Don't get me wrong, I'd hit it, but you never have to ask me that question. Nine times of out ten I'd do it. It's a disease I tell you!  

 

Here's Adam at his Halloween party yesterday. I'm not sure what his costume is? A young Mr. Burns from The Simpsons in the 70s? That's my guess. 

 

 

Source: TMZ

 

 

 

 

 

WONK! This is what you get for dating Lindsay Lohan. Your mugshot comes back to haunt you. This is Riley Giles' mugshot from last year. He was arrested for forging a prescription.  

 

Looks a little dim, but I'd definitely hit it and then make him forge me a prescription for Vicodin. Oh wait, scratch that. He obviously sucks at that forging thing.

 

Splash

 

 

 

 

 

Hell yes I'd hit K.D. Lang! You know she can work a strap-on better than most dudes can work their own dicks. Those butchies know what the hell is up. She probably is a master eater too! I'll just put a little Chicken of the Sea on my no-no hole and she won't know the difference!

 

Anyway, here's K.D. being hot with Elton John and Uma Thurman at an AmFar event last night.

 

 

 

 

 

Now I'm asking this for serious, because I don't have any idea. There was a time when Chris Klein aka Suri's daddy was semi-hot, but now I'm not so sure. His face sort of looks like he got an artificial skin transplant or maybe that's just too much make-up. I'd definitely do the reverse cowboy, but he's a little too "Jacko" in the face to go forward. Actually, I'd have to check the feet before I go reverse. Looking at a pair of scroungy ass toes while you're trying to get your thing going will kill it everytime.

 

Below is Chris and Freddie Prinze Jr. at the Toronto Film Festival. Freddie is looking worn. Damn, we're all getting old. They better invent something fast, because I don't know if I can handle it.

 

 

 

 

 

When Orlando Bloom was first hot shit for playing that sexy elf, I would've definitely let him do ear sex (Yes there's such a thing ) to me or whatever got his rocks off. Now, not so much. Orlando's unfortunate lip pubes are for a stage role he's doing in London.

 

Getting with Orlando now would make me very uncomfortable. He looks like a slimy priest from the 70s. I'd have to dress like an alter boy with an afro and I'm not sure I'm down with that. Oh eff it. I'm up for anything. So yes, I'd hit it.

 

 

Bottom Images: Splash

 

 

 

In case you don't know who this sexy side of beef (more like sexy side of 25,000 cows) he's the brother of Brandon Davis aka Fat Elvis. TMZ calls him "Gummi Bear" and I call him sex kitten or Jason Davis.

 

Jason of course attended Paris' Malibu bash yesterday (see below). Duh! Free food.

 

I'm not sure what he's doing to himself, but I'm pretty sure it's illegal. He's probably foaming from the tits, because he hasn't been milked for a few hours.

 

I'm the sluttiest of sluts and I can say with confidence that I wouldn't even dry kiss him on the cheek. Well....ok...maybe I'd hit it. I'd have to see the package first, but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to find it. I wonder if he has LoJack on his peen?

 

P.S. - Please don't tell me that's Alli Sims aka Brit's cousin at Paris' party?!!!

 

 

 

 

 

This is trannylicious Amanda Lepore and club personality/drag-something Andre J at the PMBuzz launch party last night in NYC. 

 

I would have to say I'd get with Mandy. I only say this because I always see this bitch on my block and if she put two and two together, her tranny ass would beat me. Trust. Trannies are some ferocious fighters.  

 

I bet Andre has major wang though. HeShe still has the wang, right? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jack Nicholson is still on vacation in St. Tropez! DAMN! Did he retire and forget to tell everyone? Well, he's having a grand ole' time! Kurt Douglas Russell is also on vacation in Greece with Goldie Hawn.

 

Both dudes are working the "gut over the bagina" and they look like they don't give a fuck.

 

I'd definitely hit Jack over Kurt. Jack is probably into some major, fiflthy, disgusting, dirty talk. On the other hand, doesn't Kurt know that tantric shit?

 

 

Source: Daily Mail

 

 

 

Steve Sanders is like fine wine, he gets better with age. His titties are a little lumpy and he most likely has blonde pubes, but the things I would do. I was always about Dylan McKay, but while Luke is losing the battle, Ian is definitely winning it. 

 

Yes I'd hit it, felch it, snowball it, whatever.... 

 

Here's Stevie in Malibu yesterday. 

 

 

Splash