Would You Hit It?

I'm not going to lie. I'd hit it. Only because he gave us an amazing mug shot and he should be rewarded for that. I'd have to soak his ass in RID, but I've done worse for a piece. Anylice, the star of this amazing mug shot is 47-year-old Robert Martin of NJ. Bitch doesn't look that haggard for 47, right? I'm joking...sort of.

Robbie was arrested for some stupid shit! The police busted him after they received complaints over naked Barbies, ladies panties and porn magazines sprawled out in Robbie's car. The dumb whores who complained think he was laying it out for everyone to see, like a shrine. Robbie frequently parks his car at the Ocean View Service Plaza and over the course of a couple of weeks the complaints came pouring in. That shit ain't right.

He was arrested on Wednesday morning and charged with maintaining a public nuisance. He was also charged with possession of a weapon, because the cops found a shank in his car. A shank? I'm in love.

Robbie said, "It was not on public display, it was not a public shrine. The only regret I do have is probably having the Barbie doll up on the dashboard. Being topless, maybe that drew some attention."

Robbie, you can display your naked Barbie on my dashboard anytime.

Thanks Gisela

What in Hobie hell happened to Jeremy Jackson?! Do you remember this bitch? He played The Hoff's twink son Hobie on "Baywatch." That explains everything, right? The meth stick obviously hit this bitch right in the face.

This crazy bitch was arrested when he was 19 because the cops found a meth lab in his house! 27-year-old Jeremy is sober now. Yes, he's 27. He may look like a chewed-up Slim Jim, but he still looks younger than Ali Lohan.

The red in his eye is probably his pupil crying blood tears after seeing Jeremy's face in the mirror.

With all that being said, yes I'd hit it. Wait, I know he has meth face, but do you think he has meth dick too?

Here's Jeremy with some tramp at the opening of Christian Audigier's club in Las Vegas last night. I also threw in some pictures of Bai Ling, because her extreme glamour should never go unnoticed.

Two words: FUCK YES! And if you say you wouldn't hit it, you are lie-telling. Majorly lie-telling.

Here's Pharrell Williams performing with the rest of N.E.R.D at the Roter Salon in Berlin on Friday night.

Glory be to Phoebe Price! I can finally say with confidence that I WOULD NOT hit it. No way, no ho (typo, but it's staying).

Here's Matt Damon on set of "The Informant" in Hawaii. Bitch looks like a born-again child toucher with a flatulence problem. Child touchers say "flatulence," we say fart.

Wait.....maybe Matt Damon's new look has something to do with Ben and Jen's possible split? I always knew Ben loved a little cushion for the pushin'.

Even though Robbie Williams is wearing a lady shirt from Frederick's of Hollywood, I'd still get with that. The mangy mutt laying on his chest might give your crotch a rug burn, but it's worth it.

Here's Robbie and his hairy chichis leaving Villa in West Hollywood last night.

Put on your sunglasses. Keanu Reeves is one bright bitch. He probably uses SPF: Bitch Don't Even Think Of Going Into The Sun. It is nice to see Keanu in the water though. Unfortunately, fleas and scabies can swim, but at least he's washing off some of his stank. You know that girl with him came out of the water dirtier than when she went in.

Keanu is also more interested in picking the street shit out of his fingernails than looking at his topless friend.

Oh and to answer my own question, DUH! I'd have to apply oven cleaner to my skin after fucking with filthy ass Keanu, but it would be worth it.

Here's Keanu with topless friend on the French Riviera today.

DUH! One of my life goals is to do fuckey fuckey times with all of the pepaws who have played James Bond in the movies. So far I'm 0/6! FAIL!

Here's Pierce Brosnan doing pepaw sporty stuff in Hawaii yesterday.

Brody Jenner's tattoo might as well say "DOUCHE" because that's I'm all reading when I look at it. I'd hit it, but he totally sweats Axe body spray and his breath stinks like Bud. You know his hairy tittays jiggle when he's hitting it hardcore and he screams "here comes the party" right before he cums. Yeah, he's hot.

Here's Brody with his girlfriend and some friends in Maui.

It's Jason Mraz and HELL YES I'd hit that. We can rub our twig bodies together in hopes of starting a fire. A Rojo Caliente fire! She would pop out of one of our asses and shout, "It's Rojo Caliente time!" I wish.

Jason posted this picture of himself on his MySpace along with boring shit about jet lag and his vegan diet. Shut up and strip!

VIA Towleroad

Thanks David

Yesh, I would. Only because it's rumored that the dick is major. I would have to sit in a bath of nail polish remover afterwards to get the Simpson smegma off of me.

We would also have to "shave 'n fuck." That hairy patch on his belly is distracting. I don't mind landing strips, but that shit needs a little maintenance. I bet his peen bush is like the damn amazon jungle. You need a machete to get through that mess. I guess Jenny Aniston doesn't mind pubies between her teeth. Beggars can't be choosers!

Here's John in Hawaii this past weekend. Jenny wasn't with him. He needed to spend time with the "boys."