Duffs

Hilary Duff is not a fat ass, but she looked like a stuffed sausage at G-A-Y in London last night. Thunder thighs! She's probably built like that, because she's preparing for the Kentucky Derby.

Clubgoers at Hyde were shocked to see a visibly drunk Hilary Duff and her dog sister, Haylie Duff, act the fool last Thursday. H & H showed up to the Hollywood club around 11pm. Sources say that Hilary was wobbling around with her totally flaming gay friend in the women's restroom. People were shocked at what was coming out of her mouth.

A source said, “It was kind of inappropriate. She was pretty drunk and staggering around the bathroom, bumping into people and shrieking that her gay male friend had a vagina so it was okay for him to be there.”

Inappropriate?! Hyde is a den of sin! Hilary was finally showing some personality. Now if she'll only get those chiclets removed!

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Hilary Duff is not happy with Nicole Richie and is bad mouthing her all over town. Nicole Richie is now banging Hilary's ex-boyfriend, Joel Madden. Joel apparently ended the relationship, because Hil was not putting out. Can you blame him? Sources claim that Joel isn't making this break-up easy for Hil. He's still calling her even though he's with Nicole.

A friend of Hil's said, “[Duff] can’t believe he’s dating Nicole and thinks she’s a skank. She asked if Nicole had been coming from Joel’s. ... She kept saying she never knew Joel at all.”

Stickfight! Hilary can totally use her horse teeth to cut Nicole in two!

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According to Page Six, Joel Madden may have dumped Hilary Duff because she wouldn't spread. Hilary is saving herself for marriage and is still a virgin. Joel is an oldie olsen and isn't waiting around to get a little action. So, he moved on to another skinny-bone-jones, Nicole Richie.

The two have sped up their relationship even though they've been dating a few weeks. Nicole was also said to be leaving Joel's Glendale home when she was pulled over for driving on vicodin and weed.

Nicole already finds Joel her "rock." She listed him as her emergency contact on her booking papers when she was arrrested.

Ok, I can understand that Joel wants to get a little action..but Nicole Richie does not come to mind. Isn't that like screwing a bag of bones, literally? When he sticks it in the front it probably comes out the back. Not hot.

Us Weekly is reporting that Joel Madden is now dating Nicole Richie. Joel recently broke it off with another skinny bone jones, Hilary Duff. The two were spotted last week at Teddy's in Hollywood. They were hugging and dancing and laughing...blah...blah..blah

They continued the next night when they were spotted with Joel's brother, Benji Madden, and his girlfriend. The brothers double dated at the Polo Lounge in Los Angeles.

Hilary now Nicole? He has a small peen. Seriously, that's what my two cents. He needs to get with chicks that make his wang look bigger. A small dick next to Hil and Nicole probably looks huge.

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Hilary Duff in Horse and Hound Magazine Lush Magazine

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Hilary Duff and Joel Madden have apparently called it quits. Joel was in Chicago last week and told everyone at Enclave, where he was DJing, that he was single and ready to mingle. He apparently said that their 8-year age difference was a major problem. He's 27 and she's 19.

The two began dating...oh who cares?! He probably got sick of her horse-teeth getting in the way if I ain't being too subtle!

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18 year-old, Maksim Miakovsky, was arrested in Manhattan Beach, CA for threatening to kill horse-faced, Hilary Duff this past weekend. He was arrested at a local Residence Inn on Friday night.

TMZ reported that Maksim has made several threats to Hilary and her boyfriend, Joel Madden. Maksim said that the reason why he came to the US from Russia was to get it on with Hilary. That’s a waste of a planet ticket.

Maksim was planning to kill Hilary on Sunday at an event she was scheduled to attend. He is currently being held on $200,000 bail.

Doesn’t Blohan hate Duff? She’s totally going to pay that dude’s bail. Honestly, you have to be pretty lame if you want to kill Hilary Duff. I mean he’s probably cooped up in his hotel room watching “Lizzie Maguire” over and over again and chanting “let the rain fall down and wake my dreams”, so after a while you would think he’d look up in the mirror and realize that this is stuff of insanity. Hilary Duff?! WTF?

Haylie & Hilary Duff being fugly at the Carousel of Hope Ball