Tranny Mess

Really? What is this? Why did this happen? Who put this here? What asshole does this?! Why?! Why hasn't someone sprayed this tranny cockroach with RAID yet? I don't understand. I know my simple mind just can't comprehend this level of artistic genius, but who actually likes this? Raise your hand....and then immediately put it in your garbage disposal and turn it on. But seriously, this bitch really does make me appreciate Vadge. That's kind of ironic since I'm 100% sure Lady CaCa is a mutation of one of Vadge's roidy crotch warts.

Oh, shit. This is a "Say Something Nice" and I already failed. Okay, let me try this again. Well, um...errr...the umbrella is nice.

Here's Lady CaCa after stealing Bette Midler's lips in Hocus Pocus in London last night with Mika.

Brooke Hogan proved that she's one of the most skilled tuckers in the game while filming her new music video in Miami yesterday afternoon. Brooke let her dick down for a quick minute so that she could poke her new boyfriend, Stack$, in his peen catcher when he visited her on set. Yes, he goes by the name Stack$. That shit is about as hardcore as a fluffy kitten nibbling on a piece of pink cotton candy. Going by your Xbox360 Gamertag in real life is not a good idea.

Brooke and Stack$ (I can't with that name) are seriously the "El Camino on cement blocks" version of Brit Brit and KFed. That says everything. Although, I have to give it to Brooke that she didn't follow in the Hogan family tradition of licking the asshole of someone who looks a blood relative.

How did the tranny frog get the reclusive gaysian unicorn known as Bobby Trendy to come to her stupid ass book party? It must have been an accident. Bobby was probably nearby when he heard his mating call: the click from a camera. It beckoned him to bring a little glamour to this overall fug affair. And I'm glad he did, because otherwise we wouldn't get to see how he reworked the vagina prom dress to make it work for him. Now the fat pink pussy on his chest matches the one on his ass. And is it just me or does Bobby kind of look like a ladyboy version of Phyllis Diller here?

That dumb bitch Kelly Taylor also came out when she should've stayed home with her head in a big bowl of VO5! Bitch's hair looks like Sarah Jessica Parker's next meal. That shit looks highly flammable. One flame is all it takes... Luckily, Jennie didn't stand anywhere near Bobby.

Here's the rest of the whores from last night's dreadful affair including, Kim Kardassian, Preparation H's arch rival Lisa Rinna, Creepy McDermott, Harry Hamlin and Rodney Stranger's twin sister Patti.

Bobby Trendy, the gaysian alien from Planet Faggotry, is really dedicated to his famewhore game. This bitch pulls out all the stops. This ho will crash a Little Miss Pageant and rip some sequined dress out of a tiny girl's hands so that he has a frock glittery enough to work the ho stroll in. And if it's not fancy enough, all he has to do is ass queef on that shit and it's suddenly covered in sparkles. This shit is like a Little Miss Pageant and an S&M party did wrong things together and this was created out of it. A slow-moving tranny train wreck and that tortured dog knows it! Put that pooch at the top of the suicide watch list!

And the original artiste known as Lady CaCa (served with a deep-fried eye roll) with be copying this look in 3...2.....

Here's a few pictures from Beyonce's I Am....RIDICULOUS tour in Vancouver last night. There's really no explanation for this mess. This was born from a Mugler and a Knowles, so that's explanation enough!

Glittery condom men? The Transformers logo on Beyonce's pussy bone? The Elmer's glue used to keep her lacefront down? I feel like I need to witness this faggotry for myself, but I'm afraid my extreme levels of gayness will clash with the extreme levels of tranniness radiating off of Sasha Fart causing an explosion of weave tracks, face clay, tarantula legs, sequins and coagulated jizz. The world is not equipped.

Pete Burns of Dead or Alive was hospitalized last week after a bunch of kidney stones fucked with his organs. The Sun says that 49-year-old Pete underwent a 5-hour surgery on his kidneys after doctors found 8 kidney stones. They were unable to get them out because of a blockage. Pete is now laid up and hopefully floating above the clouds thanks to a morphine drip. Pete was able to type through the pain and wrote a message on his website.

Pete wrote, "I'm in a very serious condition on 24 hours intravenous morphine for the pain. Intravenous fluid as I'm so dehydrated and the kidneys can't retain the liquid. I'm critically ill and under 24 hours observation and will be in hospital for quite a long time."

Let the morphine drip take you on a ride and get better, Pete. Those gorgeous eyebrows need you.

Since we're on the subject of Pete Burns, (NSFW) click here to see a picture that lands in my inbox almost daily. I've seen it a trillion times, but it's a classic. Beware, you might need a morphine drip yourself after looking at this shit. Shit being the keyword.

My inbox has seen more of Amber Rose than a motherfucking bottle of peroxide and a clipper. I'm getting emails from bitches that say everything from "Bitch is a truck stop stripper!" to "Bitch is a cunt licker" to "Bitch has a wang!" And so on and so forth. All I know is that bitch will be deaf soon from Kanye West's epic yelling fits. And she already might be partially blind, because that's the only thing I can think of to explain this outfit. I didn't know Osh Kosh B'Gosh also had a line of day-shift prostitot clothes. The baby hooker look is not for Amber Rose.

Earlier, I posted about how Kate Hudson loves the art of pole grinding so much that she had a stripper's pole installed in her poop room. Well, that saggy bitch doesn't have shit on Real World: Brooklyn's resident tranny girl Katelynn. Katelynn doesn't need to install shit, because she will use any kind of pole to get the job done.

Last night, the skanks went to some restaurant/bar/outhouse in Gettysburg and Katelynn spotted a pole and made it hers. The thing wasn't a stripper's pole, it was a fucking support pole! The dumb bitch! But Katelynn saw a pole and she had a dream to tantalize everybody in the room with her skills. That's until the bitch fell. Still, every whore on the Rock of Love Bus probably burst a twatty wart, because they were so proud of Katelynn. Every pole is meant to be grinded on. Every.

You weren't alone if you were secretly wishing the support pole broke causing the entire roof to come crashing down on her. No, you weren't.

After Katelynn's pole dancing FAIL, she started freaking on some pepaw midget man. At first, I thought it was Chuy from Chelsea Lately. I think Katelynn did too.

I used to think that only Lisa Rinna's lips looked like a puss-filled, crusty roid, but now I think her whole face looks like it should be sitting comfortably inside a butt crack. The same goes for Nikki Cox. Why are these woman doing this shit? What do they have against looking pretty? Do they think they will get more attention if they look like they should be marinating in a tub of Preparation H? Well, it's working.

Although, in Nikki's defense, Jay Mohr is to blame. Fucking his stupid ass would turn anyone into a Klingon. When his peen goes in, your hotness gets sucked the fuck out.

Here's Lisa Rina, Nikki Cox and Nikki's dehydrated chichis at the Grammy Awards last night. And both of those dresses really belong on the Rock of Love Bang Bus.

This is Mr. Jude Law as a sexy awesome fierce lady woman in Sally Potter's new movie Rage. Jude plays a supermodel named Minx. Bitch is a sexy minx and he knows it. Look at him. I bet his pussy is puckering.

Sally described the movie: "Part of the subject matter of RAGE is the ugly use of beauty in the pursuit of profit. Drugged by Marketing, sapped by fear of aging, conned by the cult of celebrity… image becomes all. Jude Law, whose beauty has sometimes been held against him as an actor, made the courageous decision to accept the role of Minx - a 'celebrity super-model' and took on a kind of hyper-beauty for this persona… a ‘female’ beauty which gradually unravels as the story unfolds. Strangely, the more he became a ‘she’, coiffed and made-up - the more naked was his performance. There was great strength in his willingness to make himself vulnerable. It was an extraordinarily intense part of the shoot."

Um. Okay. High-art. Oh-so-edgy. I get it. But does Jude show his man pussy in this shit? That's the only question I need answered.

I can't put my finger on who Jude looks like. I'm getting a tinge of Chrissy Hynde flavor with maybe a splash of Joan Jett. But I also see Sandra Bernard in there. Maybe a little Ally Sheedy? It's like he took all those bitches, threw them in the blender, pulsed them down and then covered his body with them.

The wig is a vast improvement. Anything that covers up his dying Chia pet head is a major upgrade. That being said, I'd totally finger his mangina.

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