Film
Tuesday, October 30th 2007
Grease Is Not The Word
This has got to be a joke. Michelle Pfeiffer is quoted as saying that she's been offered a role in a remake of "Grease" and that Jessica Simpson has been asked to play Sandy. Did hell freeze over and I didn't get the memo?
She said, "It's a great idea and I hear they would like to get Jessica Simpson for the role of Sandy, she would be good. I would love to play the school principal. She is fun and has some great put-down lines. I think I would like the part now that I have been asked."
Jessica Simpson?! Bitch is too old! Michelle Pfeiffer NOW would make a better Sandy.
Michelle also starred in Grease 2 and says she regrets making it. "I hated that film with a vengeance and could not believe how bad it was. At the time I was young and didn't know any better."
Grease 2 is the greatest movie she ever made and she shouldn't have any regrets. Grease 2 is a masterpiece! " I want a cool rider, a cool cool cool cool rider. I want a cool rider, a cool cool cool cool rider. I want a c-oo-l r-i-d-e-r."
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Tuesday, October 30th 2007
Russell Crowe Was Too Fat For Movie Role
Ridley Scott told Russell Crowe that he was too fat for a role in "Body of Lies." Ridley ordered Russell to drop 30 pounds in order to play the role of a CIA boss.
Ridley said, "I've shot with Russell for the past five weeks. That's why he's so sturdy-looking at the moment. He's losing weight. He was 30 pounds overweight to do the part."
First Ryan Gosling was too chunky for a movie and now Russell? Finally Hollywood is telling the dudes they need to lose a few instead of picking on the women all the time.
I went to see "The Devil Knows You're Dead" this past weekend with Phillip Seymour Hoffman and although I love him I don't want to see all his kibbles n' bits! Kibbles 'n bits with extra gravy! He has a sex scene with that hot bitch Marisa Tomei and his gut is like laying on her ass while he's hitting it from behind. I go to the movies to escape reality!
While we're talking about weight-loss, has anyone tried that diet shit Alli ? I want to try it, so I can be bikini ab-ready for Christmas ( don't ask). I want to try it, but if it makes your kidneys fall out, count me out! Wait, how much do kidneys weigh?
Here's Russell at a screening for "American Gangster" last night.
Monday, October 29th 2007
Nicole Kidman's Movie Under Fire
Christian groups are boycotting and staging a campaign against the Nicole Kidman movie "The Golden Compass" due to the book's anti-God themes. The film is based on a trilogoy of books by Philip Pullman. Philip is a known atheist. New Line has watered down the film version and removed all the offensive anti-religion themes which has angered Atheists. Damn, they can't win.
Christian and Catholic groups are more concerned with the books and feel that with the movie will send children running to read the rest of the books. In the final book of the trilogy, a character named God is killed. They find out that God isn't a God after all and is a phoney. This is a children's book?!
The watered down version comes out this Christmas. Atheists are still happy about the film, because it will give his books the attention they never got in the States.
The head of the Freedom From Religion Foundation said, "What this book is about is casting off Church authority. I think it's very, very positive. There should be something for freethinking children. It's a very good yarn."
The FoxNews article goes on and on and on. Basically, I blame Nicole Kidman and her botoxed face. This movie has already been dubbed a flop anyway, so Christians shouldn't worry.
I didn't want to see this piece of garbage before, but now I totally do. This is what I say. Let children believe whatever they want and everything will be ok. if they want to believe there's a God, fine. If they want to believe there isn't, fine.
I think what's more ungodly is that movie tickets are $11 around my parts. Dark-sided!
Tuesday, October 23rd 2007
Too Fat For Peter
Yesterday it was announced that Ryan Gosling dropped out from Peter Jackson's "Lovely Bones" due to creative differences. Sources told the L.A. Times that Ryan was too fat and ugly for the role. When 26-year-old Ryan got the part he told Peter that he was planning to get fat and grow some face pubes in order to look the part of an older, grieving father.
A source said that Peter was into it, but when Ryan showed up to work he "was still expecting some movie star allure -- not paunch and a beard."
Another source told Page Six that he was also fired, because he was a nightmare to work with. "Ryan cut his own hair, and was fighting with wardrobe. He was so demanding . . . Peter booted him two days before filming started."
36-year-old Mark Wahlberg replaced him at the last minute.
Now that's a Hollywood twist. Getting replaced by someone older? It's usually the other way around. Peter Jackson used to be a fatass, so he probably didn't want Ryan around. Ryan was probably going to bring Twinkies and shit on the set and Peter doesn't need the temptation!
Monday, October 22nd 2007
Man Breath
I bet you David Eigenberg had to put a little tuna juice on his lips to make Cynthia Nixon feel more comfortable while they shot their scene for "that movie" in NYC today. I'm joking! She's a professional and besides he's a prettier woman than her current girlfriend.
It wouldn't take much for me to kiss his ass. I've seen his ass naked in a play and it's not that shabby.
Monday, October 22nd 2007
Ryan Out! Mark In!
I was wondering why Ryan Gosling got all fat and hairy. He did it for his art! Ryan was due to start shooting "Lovely Bones" today in Pennyslvania for director Peter Jackson. He gained 20lbs for the role. He dropped out yesterday due to "creative differences." Mark Wahlberg immediately signed up in his place.
Lovely Bones is based on the best-selling novel about a young girl who watches over her family and her murderer from heaven.
The film also stars Rachel Weisz, Susan Sarandon and Stanley Tucci. Mark will play the girl's father.
Creative differences? Maybe they didn't want the father to be a hairy, fat ass anymore. Well, at least he had fun twinkie eating. If Mark does this role shirtless, I'll be ok with it. Otherwise, he's going to suck.
Friday, October 19th 2007
For The Birds
First things first! That man in the pic above with Naomi Watts has rocked my morning. Eff her, the photographer should've zoomed in on him.
SO! It looks like a remake of the Alfred Hitchcock classic "The Birds" is going to happen. Naomi Watts is set to star in the Tippi Hedren role with Martin Campbell (Casino Royale, The Legend of Zorro) directing.
They are calling it a reimagining of Daphne Du Maurier's short story. This is Hollywood-talk for "butchering a classic."
I'm not surprised. Hollywood...Broadway....they are all the same. They take an old idea, they put in some Hollywood bat and they ruin it for all days.
Here's Naomi looking like she just rolled out of bed with Liev Schreiber at Fashion Rocks in London last night.
Tuesday, October 2nd 2007
Casting Couch
Elle.com is saying that Rose McGowan will definitely play Barbarella in the big-screen remake which is being directed by her boyfriend, Robert Rodriguez. When the project was announced a couple of months ago her name was the first one to come up, because bitch is blowing the director. DUH!
Halle Berry, Sienna Miller, Nicole Kidman, Kate Beckinsale and Lindsay Lohan were talked about, but it was always Rose.
The movie's going to suck anyway, so he might as well make it suck even more by casting Rose. Bitch can't act! The role she played in "Grindhouse" didn't call for much, but homegirl still came off with having the acting skills of a dead cat! I mean a dead cat at least foams at the mouth a little and bitch couldn't even do that!
Getting it from the director does pay off! Good move Rose! It's the best thing that happened to your career. I salute you.
Friday, September 28th 2007
Wax Off, Wax On, Wax NO!
Will Smith's son, Jaden Smith, co-starred with him in The Pursuit of Happyness and now he may be the next "Karate Kid." Sony is planning to remake the classic film which starred Ralph Macchio as a bullied boy who gets taught how to be a bad ass karate bitch by a martial arts master.
The main reason why Jaden Smith will be the new karate kid is because Will's production company is producing the remake.
Jaden is only 9-years-old. How the hell is the karate kid going to be 9?! I'll take "The Next Karate Kid" which starred Hilary Swank over this any day.
Actually, they should remake it with Zac Efron and call it "The Karate Queer." Now that's something I'd pay to see!
Wednesday, September 19th 2007
3 Years Later And Nothing Has Changed
ETOnline has the first shot of My Little Pony Parker and Chris Noth on the NYC set of "Sex and the City" or what I like to call "The Golden Girls Movie." Today's the first day of shooting on the feature film version of the HBO series.
The movie stars MLPP, Noth, Cynthia Nixon, Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis, Jennifer Hudson, Jason Lewis, Evan Handler and David Eigenberg. It will hit theaters in May 2008.
I see Carrie Bradshaw is still using bookends as purses.
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