Film

Steven Soderbergh is working on a biopic of the one and only Liberace! Variety (via CS) reports that Steven has picked Michael Douglas to play Liberace.

Matt Damon is also in talks to play Scott Thorson, Liberace's alleged companion of five years. Scott sued Liberace in 1982 for $113 in palimony. Even though Liberace denied he was gay, he still settled with Scott for $95,000 in 1986. In 1987, Liberace passed away of complications from AIDS at the age of 67.

Michael Douglas is the last person I can see playing Liberace, but I'll still be 8th row center when this comes out. If it comes out.

You know Tommy Girl's scientolohole is going to pay tonight when John Travolta finds out he lost his dream role! He loves any excuse to wear rhinestones and crushed velvet in public! Oh well, John. There's always the Elton John biopic.....

Nicolas Cage and the dead hyena laying on his head might not be celebrating today even though they have the #1 movie in the country. "Bangkok Dangerous" did top the box office this weekend, but only with $7.8 million. It's the lowest grossing #1 movie in the past five years. The last time a #1 movie opened lower was when David Spade's Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star earned just $6.7 million in 2003. Hah. Almost beat by Dickie Roberts. That has to burn.

"Bangkok Dangerous" cost $45 million to make. The studio probably spent $20 million alone on keeping Nicolas' wig greased up. I almost considered going to see this shit, but decided I would waste less time by just flushing my $12 down the toilet.

I would have definitely seen it if it was called "Bang COCK Dangerous" and starred a bunch of big-donged nekkid dudes.

Here's how the rest of the truly shitty weekend box office looked:

1. Bangkok Dangerous - $7.8 million
2. Tropic Thunder - $7.5 million
3. The House Bunny - $5.9 million
4. The Dark Knight - $5.7 million
5. Traitor - $4.7 million

Source

Variety reports that Columbia Pictures has hired the bitches from "The Office" to write a script for a new "Ghostbusters" movie. The studio wants to bring back the original cast of Harold Ramis, Bill Murray, Dan Akroyd and Ernie Hudson.

How old are those pepaws now? They are practically ghosts themselves. And they better not forget about Annie Potts! Harry Potter wishes he looked that sexy in coke bottle glasses. Besides, she needs to be saved from "TV show guest star" hell. The last time I saw her was on one episode of "Ugly Betty." Eeesh.

The studio can also save some money by going on easy on the CGI effects. Instead of a CGI Slimer, Pete Doherty's loogie can play him. Kiki Dunst's saggy titty sacks can gain some weight to play the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.

The trailer for "Milk" is here and it's pretty evident that Sean Penn will get nominated for one of those gold statue things. The film is based on the life of Harvey Milk, the first openly gay man elected to political office. It was directed by Gus Van Zant. Hopefully, "Milk" will redeem Gus for that "Pyscho" fiasco. Casting Vince Vaughn as Norman Bates was just criminal.

"Milk" also stars James Franco, Josh Brolin, Diego Luna, Emile Hirsch and Victor Garber. Victor Garber! I mean, bell bottoms, terry cloth shorts and Victor Garber? I'm in.

Not Saint Angelina herself. If that happened, the world would be sucked into a black hole.

Just a couple of posters featuring Saint Angie holding a couple of guns were banned. The U.K.'s Advertising Standards Authority ruled that two movie posters for "Wanted" glamorize guns and violence. Only 17 complaints were made against the posters, but the ASA felt it was enough to ban them forever!

They issued this statement: "We acknowledged most viewers would understand the posters reflected the content of an action film. However, we considered that because the ads featured a glamorous actress, action poses, several images of, or related to guns and aspirational text, they could be seen to glamorize the use of guns and violence."

The studio said the images "were highly stylized and in keeping with the comic-book-based nature of the flick." That being said, they still had no choice but to pull the posters out of circulation.

Please! Guns were not the reason why the posters were banned! Saint Angelina's holy image is too much to take. Cars crashed into things! Trains grinded to a halt! Men went into convulsions in the streets. Schoolchildren missed class, because they were spending their days kneeling on the sidewalk, worshipping her image. It was a distraction.

And you know the head bitch of the ASA will disappear in a cloud of white smoke!

Source: E! Online

Thanks Kath

File this under: The best casting decision since Vince Vaughn as Norman Bates! Christopher Nolan reportedly wants Cher to play Catwoman in the third Batman movie. The world could always use more Cher, so this makes complete sense.

According to the Telegraph, shooting begins when hell freezes over in Vancouver early next year and Johnny Depp has already been lined up to play The Riddler.

Some source who has obviously been sniffing too much paint said, "Cher is Nolan's first choice to play Catwoman. He wants to her to portray her like a vamp in her twilight years. The new Catwoman will be the absolute opposite of Michelle Pfeiffer and Halle Berry's purring creations."

I can already picture Cher sashaying up to Batman and saying, "Meeeeoooow. How's it going Batman? Ooooh Schonny Bono! Woo!" I also think Nolan should dump Depp and cast Elton John as The Riddler. That way the third Batman movie can be one big gay musical.

It looks like MGM is actually going through with its plans to remake 1982's "The Poltergeist." The studio has hired Juliet Snowden and Stiles White to write a script. They are also currently looking for a director.

Steven Spielberg co-wrote the original script about "a suburban home built over an Indian burial ground and thus inhabited by a nasty spirit." The original starred Craig T. Nelson, JoBeth Williams, Dominique Dunne and Heather O'Rourke. "Poltergeist" also spawned two sequels.

Many, including myself, think the movie is cursed! Heather and Dominique died after the film's release. Will Sampson, one of the stars of the sequel, performed an exorcism on the set to get rid of "alien spirits." He died a year after the sequel was released. There's a Wikipedia page on "The Poltergeist Curse."

Why would they even touch this?! It's obviously cursed! But if they insist, they should cast Heidi Montag, Parasite Hilton, Spencer Pratt and every member of The Westboro Baptist Church.

Everybody! Raise a bottle of poppers to celebrate Tommy Girl's victory at the box office! Okay, homegirl really isn't the star of "Tropic Thunder," but that doesn't matter! He still has a hit movie! You know he's celebrating by treating himself to a little ride on L. Ron Hubbard's frozen dick. He rides it until he sees stars....and planets....and his alien people.

"Tropic Thunder" kicked "The Dark Knight" off of the top perch where it's been sitting for the past four weeks. Even though TDK fell to the #2 spot with $16.8 million for the weekend, it has become the second highest-grossing movie in the history of forever. With a total gross of $471 million, TDK ranks second behind "Titanic" which has $601 million in its wallet. Don't let go, Jack! Batman is coming for you.

Here's how the weekend box office looked:

1. Tropic Thunder - $26 million
2. The Dark Knight - $16. 8 million
3. Star Wars: The Clone Wars - $15.5 million
4. Mirrors - $11.1 million
5. Pineapple Express - $10 million

Unfortunately, I was too busy hacking up sperm balls this weekend, so I didn't get out to see any of this shit. Everyone keeps telling me that Tommy Girl brings the laughs in Tropic Thunder. Even if I tried, I could never laugh WITH Tommy Girl. It's just not possible. The minute I laugh with him is the moment the aliens have won!

Source

"The Dark Knight" is the biggest movie in the history of cinema, so it's no surprise that there's already talk about a third Batman movie. Three names have already come up as possible villains for the third movie which doesn't have a title yet. They should just call it "You're Going To See This Shit No Matter What We Call It."

MTV UK reports that Johnny Depp, Saint Angelina and Phillip Seymour Hoffman are rumored to play The Riddler, Catwoman and The Penguin. Boooooring! You might think this is perfect casting, but I disagree. The producers need to give other hos a chance! This movie (if it happens) will make mountains of cash with or without big names.

Here is my plea to the producers:

International Supermodel - Phoebe Price IS The Riddler
The Empress of Lucite - Shauna Sand IS Catwoman
The Sexiest Gayelle in the World - Rojo Caliente IS The Penguin

Too perfect for fucking words. Amy Wino can film a cameo as Poison Ivy. They can change her name to Crackie Ivy. No costume or make-up required.

Above is the trailer for "Harry Poter and Blah...Blah...Blah" and below is the teaser trailer for Disney's "The Princess and the Frog."

I haven't seen a Harry Potter movie since the first one. I know, I'm totally alone on that one. That shit puts me to bed! When I went to see the first one, I was in dreamland before the beginning credits finished. Harry Potter puts me to sleep faster than an orgasm. Unless DanRad shows us his skin wand in this shit, I'm not interested. This crap comes out in November.

Now onto "The Princess and the Frog" trailer. Disney is the root of all evil, but this trailer made me feel like a giddy 8-year-old girl again. That's until the firefly with the jacked up teefs started talking. Um...that made me feel a bit uncomfortable. This shit comes out Christmas 2009.