Uncomfortable

 

Christian Slater said in a recent interview that he's developed a liking for "toe play" in the bedroom. This isn't too surprising since he's been linked to Jimmy Choo founder, Tamara Mellon.

 

He said, “I’m always experimenting in the bedroom – trying to discover new ways to have a good time and enjoy myself. I think toes are a lot of fun, definitely. Do some of your own research and find out how, but trust me. Uh oh, now I’ve crossed the line!”

 

I'd let Christian suck my toes. However, I'd be concerned that his face would fall off from all the sucking going on. I don't know if his botoxed mug can take that much suction. His face falling on my feet would totally kill the mood.

 

Christian also talked about his drug use and thinks it's fine in moderation.

 

“The last time I had ecstasy was five years ago. There’s no question that in proper quantities and the right manner, drugs are fine. On the other hand, your perceptions tend to get all screwed up and you lose track.”

 

Ectasy at his age! I stopped taking ectasy, because of those annoying light shows people try and give you. If you've taken it at a rave you know what I'm talking about. These raver morons come up to you with light sticks and try and dazzle you with their skills. Unfortunately, the ectasy you've just ingested makes it so that you can't make fun of them. You just kind of stand there with a stupid smile on your face and inside you're thinking "this is the dumbest thing I've ever seen in my life" but that damn chemical is stopping you from saying it! Eff ectasy!

 

 

 

 

The Japanese have done it again! They have invented a robot that will keep me up at night. This robot was invented for dentists to test pain on a real human. The "simulator humanoid" alerts dentists and students when they become uncomfortable. The robot even says "Ow, that hurts" when it gets too rough.

 

A dentist that helped create the robot said, "Our aim is to train dentists to worry about whether patients are comfortable, and not just focus on technical expertise."

 

Oh come on. You and I know very well they ain't using this shit to test "sensitivity in the mouth." Well, they are testing sensitivity in the mouth, but in a totally different way. I just would love to be the janitor that walks in on a student "testing the sensitivity" of his robot's mouth. I hope the robot swallows.

 

And you just know one day the robot is going to open its eyes, grab their dentist and say "it really hurt that time."  

 

 

Source

 

 

 

 

 

Marie Osmond is hawking 6 "Dancing with the Stars" dolls on QVC.Each doll wears an outfit Marie wore on the reality show. People reports that 2 dolls have already went on sale and sold out. 4 other dolls are currently on pre-order to be shipped out in February. They will set you back around $90.

 

EFF THAT! I'd rather have Talking Tina in my house than a creepy Marie doll. She'll constantly try to steal the spotlight from you by fainting all the time and probably try to steal your man. Marie did say she is looking for a man! 

 

 

 

 

 

You probably can't tell from this photo, but Christian Slater is actually crying. Bawling. Why do people do this to themselves? If anything needs stiffening up, it's the dick. Leave the mug alone. Botox the dick.

 

He looks like a really bad Jack Nicholson wax figure.

 

Here's Chrissy Bitch at The Evening Standard Awards in London.

 

 

Wenn VIA Mollygood

 

 

 

A young couple in Australia got married live on the air of O 2Day FM today. Thankfully, it was radio and not TV. Call me vain, but if you're going to get married all naked and shit, shouldn't you do a couple of more crunches that day? Perhaps, skip breakfast so you don't look all bloated. That's how nude beaches are though. Mostly everyone there are people you don't want to see nude!

 

You may now kiss the bride. "I can't! My bloated gut is in the way!" 

 

 

 

 

 

 

While Mr. Whipple was making the long trek to heaven, Molly Shannon was opening the Charmin toilets in NYC's Times Square yesterday. Charmin is opening "plush public restrooms" for the holiday season. Poor Molly! Has it come to this?

 

I guarantee you those toilets will be covered in heroin needles, dookie and barf come December. A public restroom in NYC equals all sorts of nasty.

 

I'm surprised they got Molly to do this. Kim Kardashian and R. Kelly weren't available? They are in the piss business.  

 

 

 

 

 

Radar Online did this whole thing on what would celebrities look like if they went under the knife and fixed their flaws. Look at what they did to my gorgeous Adrien Brody?! Now he looks like he belongs on one of those CW or FOX shows. Generic. He looks better before with the Cyrano schnoze. Big schnozes make me think of big wangs and big wangs are always a good thing. Trust this.

 

They also "fixed" Kiki, Meryl, Bill, Kelly and Will among others.

 

They forgot Rumer Willis, but they probably figured she's a lost cause and no surgeon's knife can shrink her head.  

 

Visit Radar to see more 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Liv Tyler, please put your Kate Moss away. She's scaring the children! Actually, keep her around. They need to see what hard living can do to a person. It's a harsh reality.

 

Seriously, I think Kate Moss is leaning on Liv, because if she doesn't she'll hit the ground. That's sort of hot.

 

Here's Liv and her pet meth face at the 7th on Sale Gala last night. Kate's a Methagotchi! I want one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh what have I done to deserve this? I have never felt such heartache in my life. Well, not since my favorite show "Central Park West" was taken off the air, but this is almost worse!

 

Phoebe Price was spotted lunching at the Ivy yesterday with two mystery men. Oh and by "spotted" I mean she called them and told them her whereabouts. Just kidding. They practically live there.

 

One of the paps said PP was caught kissing one of her mystery men! The betrayal! The ache. It hurts so bad and I don't know how to fix it. Maybe if someone bought me something with diamonds (hint, hint) my broken heart could be fixed. 

 

Oh well! As long as PP invites me to her wedding and let's me sing Air Supply and Bonnie Tyler's "Making Love Out of Nothing At All" everything will be square.