Dumbasses

Just when I thought that I've heard it all, comes this story out of Houston. If you're eating, you might want to skip this story and head on over to CuteOverload.com instead.

Three Kingwood teens have been arrested and accused of digging up a secluded grave and removing a skull in Humble, a city north of Houston.

Kevin Wade Jones, 17, and Matthew Richard Gonzalez, 17, both of Kingwood, told Houston police that around March 15 they and a 16-year old juvenile dug up a grave, removed the skull from the coffin and converted it into a "bong," a device used to smoke marijuana, according to court documents.

Houston police believe the teens disturbed the grave of an 11-year-old boy who died in 1921.

All the more reason to be cremated. Don't blame weed for this shit either. Blame stupidity. That being said, I'll believe it when I see it. Scratch that, I don't ever want to see that. EVER.

Visit The Houston Chronicle for all the gory details.

Thanks Jennifer and all the other that sent them to me. You're all sick nasty fucks!

Asshole Simpson is in London trying to get people to buy her album of shitty music. She was on the talk show, "Nokia Green Room" when she called Brit Brit Spears "trashy." Pot calling the kettle trashy!

Asshole was asked in an interview what she thought, "You've had one too many Britney Spears" meant? Apparently, Britney Spears is slang for beer, but Asshole answered "one too many trashy girls."

Stupid hag! Ok, I would have said a lot worse, but I'm trashy and proud of it. This is rich coming from the ultimate piece of trash, Asshole Simpson! The bitch's singing voice makes Brit Brit sound like Beverly fucking Sills.

At least Brit Brit isn't about to marry a vagina! Well, Brit Brit might if it proposed, but that's not the point!

Visit The Sun to see dumb Asshole called Brit Brit "trashy."

Remember that story from March about the chick who sat on a toilet for so long that she became one with it? Her boyfriend, Kory McFarren, pleaded not guilty yesterday to a misdemeanor charge of mistreatment of a dependent adult.

In February, Kory called the fuzz, because his girlfriend, Pam Babcock, wouldn't get off the toilet. When police arrived, they found that Pam's skin was attached to the toilet. They had to remove the seat in order to get her to the police. She had been inside the bathroom for two years and medical professionals think she had been sitting on the toilet for at least a month. Kory said she was too scared to come out.

Pam is still recovering in a Witchita, Kansas hospital. That fucking sucks. I really hope her ass cheeks grow back.

Kory's first pre-trial hearing is June 13th. He faces up to a year in prison. Shouldn't his punishment be 2-months on the pot? See how he likes losing his ass cheeks.

This moron also faces a felony charge of lewd and lascivious behavior for a different incident. Kory allegedly showed off his genitals to a neighbor girl who was a minor.

Source

Minnie Driver is slowly dropping hints on the identity of the father of her baby. Is she going to give us a prize for guessing correctly? Minnie told The Independent that he's English and "sort of in the same business." It's totally Danger Mouse.

Minnie doesn't know who the father is, now does she? She needs me to call up Maury and schedule an appointment. I'll do it as a thank you gift to her for giving me Circle of Friends.

Minnie denied that the father is Craig Zolezzi. That's a good thing, because her baby's last name would be Zolezzi. SO...LEZZZZZY.

6-months-pregnant Minnie plans to keep her baby daddy a mystery for as long as possible. "I want to shield the baby's dad as much as I can because it wasn't his choice to get roped into all this stuff." Haha. She doesn't know! It's okay, all major hos run into the same dilemma at least once in their life.

Here's Minnie walking to BBC studios in London the other day. Bitch needs to be walking into Maury's studios instead.

Yes, this picture is old as fuck. It's definitely more scandalous than that Vanity Fair nonsense if you ask me. So...Miley Cyrus' gums and teeth made their first public appearance yesterday since that VF non-scandal. Miley performed at the Disney Channel Games concert yesterday in Orlando.

After Miley dazzled the audience with her gleaming chompers, she said to them, "I saw a sign back there that said, 'Miley, I'm praying for you.' I could not be more appreciative. Thank you guys for all your support. Without you, none of this would be possible. I love every one of you and I could not be more appreciative. God bless you."

The event's co-star, Jason Earles, told the Orlando Sentinel, "She's one of the strongest people I've ever met. She'll do everything to make sure she does right by her fans. It will be all right."

It was just a little exposed back a little creepy cuddle with daddy? What's to pray for? They need to save their prayers for things that really matter........like Jason Castro beating the Davids and winning American Idol. Pray for that!

Miley still goes home, goes to the computer, brings up her checking account balance and sees at least 8 zeros! Ok, first she takes pictures of herself in bra and panties and THEN she looks at her checking account balance.

Miley Cyrus was supposed to show her face and teeth (mostly teeth) at a Disney event today in Orlando, but she won't be there. She's too busy shooting her pictorial for Playboy. 15-year-old Miley was supposed to join a bunch of other Disney whores to shoot the"Disney Channel Games," a charity competition.

The L.A. Times confirmed with Disney that she's not expected to show up, but Disney wouldn't elaborate.

Disney's the meanest pimp on the stroll. They perfume their whores with kisses when everything is fine and dandy, but they are quick to burn their asses with a hot curling iron the minute they fuck up in the smallest way.

Fuck Disney! Miley should sign with Snoop Dogg. He treats his hos with loving care.

Since Miley has to stay home today, I hope she stays away from web cams.

Today was the first part of Gary Coleman's appearance on Divorce Court. Gary and his wife, Shannon Price (no relation to Phoebe), came to Judge Toler to discuss all the issues in their 7-month marriage.

In the above clip, 22-year-old Shannon tells a story about a fight she had with Gary over a conversation they had with a stranger. The stranger claimed to know the exact date the world was ending. Shannon disagreed with the man and she was upset with Gary for not supporting her. WTF! Shannon's story basically sums up their relationship. Tweeeeeeeekers. Meth much? Stranger my ass! Dealer is more like it.

Here are some of the other things they discussed:

Gary doesn't want children - He said, "I didn't like children when I was one."
Gary and Shannon are up all night and they sleep all day
Gary has anger issues and if he doesn't get his way he throws tantrums like a 5-year-old
Gary leaves the house at 3am and doesn't come home
Gary doesn't want any friends

The saddest part came when Gary said, "I have low-self esteem. I don't feel successful in life. I want the world for her and I get very frustrated that I can't bring it to her. I don't feel financially secure and a lot of time I feel like I'm wasting her time." He was on Diff'rent Strokes! You're not a failure if you were on Diff'rent Strokes!

Tomorrow, Judge Toler will tackle their issues about sex. Can't wait......

21-year-old Charles Fuller waltzed into a bank in Forth Worth, TX last week with a smile on his face and a check in his hand. Charlie (I feel like I can call him that) presented the bank teller with a check he wished to cash. The check was made out to him for $360,000,000,000.00. Yes, $360 billion.

The banker teller, being the genius that she is, excused herself to call the check holder. The check holder is the mother of Charlie's girlfriend. She denied giving him a check, let alone a check for $360 billion.

Charlie was arrested. When police searched him, they found 2 ounces of weed and a gun. He was charged with fraud and also faces charges for unlawfully carrying a weapon and possession of marijuana.

Charlie told the police his girlfriend's mother gave him the money to start a record label. Hmmm....he can call it Dumb Bitch Records!

Charlie should have been a little more realistic. He knew very well his girlfriend's mother was a few dollars short of $360 billion. He should have scratched out her name and written KING TUT. I guarantee you the bank would have cashed it.

Source

Dennis Rodman was arrested last night on suspicion of domestic abuse. Surprised? Me neither.

Rodman's manager told TMZ that Dennis and his girlfriend had too much to drink last night. When they got back to their hotel in Century City, they started arguing and Dennis grabbed her by the arm, leaving a bruise. The hotel's security got involved and called the po po.

Officers learned that Rodman hit the woman, so they took him into custody. He posted $50,000 bail and was released 5 hours later. His court date has been set for May 22nd.

Rodman's manager said Dennis will check into rehab once he gets back into Florida. He said Dennis' drinking, "has been escalating in the last six weeks due to a nasty divorce and not seeing his children in over two months."

I forgot his crazy ass has kids! He has a son named D.J. and a daughter named Trinity.

Dennis is really getting too old for this kind of nonsense. Why do people have to fuck up their buzz by getting into fights? That's disrespecting the booze! Have a good time, let the booze do its work and keep it chill. Respect the booze!

President Bush made a funny about Jessica Simpson in front of the New York Giant yesterday. UsWeekly reports that he said, "We're going to send Jessica Simpson to the Democrat National Convention."

This would have been funny if Cindy McCain had said it. Cindy probably has amazing comedic delivery. Seriously, when is she taking her solo act on the road? Valium will sponsor it.

Bush should not know about this kind of shit! He shouldn't even know who Jessica Simpson is. I'm sure he loves to dance in his underwear to "With You," but still! Doesn't he have better things to think about? Yeah, wrong question.