Hotness

Shayne Lamas, the winner of The Bachelor, is celebrating her engagement to Matt Grant by posing in Girls Gone Wild magazine. Shauna Sand must be proud.

22-year-old Shayne is featured in a six-page photo spread. The spread features no nudity. Boring! She's saving showing off her chocha and nippies for Penthouse when her fake ass engagement to Matt expires.

Girls Gone Wild magazine?! What does the ultra-sophisticated Lorenzo Lamas have to say about this? He's probably going to have the magazine framed and put over his bathroom toilet.

Actually, I think this makes me love Shayne's trashy ass even more. I mean, Girls Gone Wild?!

VIA People

Cynthia Nixon said that she would love to marry her hot ass girlfriend, Christine Marinoni, when it's legal in New York state. Cynthia shot down rumors that she would marry Rojo Caliente in Vermont.

Cynthia told The Mirror, "It's something my girlfriend is interested in and it was not something my boyfriend ever was. I think that to get married to her would be a little act of rebellion. It's like if you've never had the vote and then you get it you're going to run out there and vote.”

She also said that she's never been in love with a woman before, , "I had been with men all my life and I had never met a woman I had fallen in love with before. But when I did, it didn't seem so strange. I don't define myself. I'm just a woman in love with another woman."

I've never been in love with a woman either, but I'm in love with Cynthia's man. Shit, I'll marry Rojo Caliente. I'll bake pies and she'll fix the cars and build me a backyard deck. The perfect relationship!

The Fraggle Rock movie musical is coming! Variety is reporting that The Weinstein Co. has hired Cory Edwards to direct and write the live-action musical feature. The Jim Henson Co. will produce the movie. Ahmet Zappa will be one of the film's executive producers. The producers will also ask popular bands to write songs for the movie.

The movie will take the core characters Gogo, Wembley, Mokey, Boober and Red outside of their home in Fraggle Rock, where they interact with humans, which they think are aliens. The show premiered on HBO in 1983, ran five seasons and was broadcast in more than 80 countries.

YES! That acid tab that I've been saving for all these years now has a purpose. Wait, does the awesomeness in acid ever stop working due to old age? Don't tell me. I'll find out the fun way.

Below is the intro for Fraggle Rock. I hope it stays in your head all day long!

The city of Memphis has decided to cut ties with A&E's "The First 48" which means one of Dlisted's Hot Sluts of the Week, Caroline Mason, won't be on TV anymore.

Memphis has become one of the favorite featured cities on the show. The show's executive producer said she didn't know why Memphis broke up with them, "I really have no idea. I mean the people of Memphis seem to love it."

The Memphis Police Department said the homicide detectives need a break. NO! Caroline doesn't need a break. She is not done sharing her glamour and detective skills with the country. A&E better take this tragedy and turn it into a TV show. A TV show starring St. Caroline Mason! Think Columbo, but with more lip liner and elegance.

City leaders say being on the show has given Memphis a bad rap! "Memphis is not unlike any other urban city where we have our challenges, but it's certainly a great place to live, and we want to advocate that to others and encourage them to visit our city."

Bad rap?! I'm tempted to move to Memphis just to be closer to Sgt. Caroline Mason! I will miss her. Below is a fan video of Caroline's best moments.

Source

Thanks Blake

Nancy Grace and her twin angels grace the cover of June's Good Housekeeping. Do you think she got $6 million like JLo did? Naw, Nancy got more. She's double the fun and double the crazy.

The twins seem like they've come to terms with living a life filled with misery. Nancy says, "These babies are my miracle." The babies say, "This bitch is our nightmare!" I fucking adore Nancy and her miserable babies. Hopefully, in a couple of years they would have stored enough money in their crib mattresses to run away.

Below is a clip of Nancy's angels from "The Soup." It hasn't been doctored. Ok, just a little, but you know it's true.

Source: Cover Awards

Sue Simmons, a WNBC anchor in NYC, dropped a huge fuck bomb during a live promo for the 11pm news last night. Sue was teasing a story about rising grocery prices when footage of a cruise ship came up and Sue shouted "What the fuck are you doing?!" I guess everyone was shocked, because Sue's F bomb was followed by several seconds of silence.

Sue apologized for dropping the bomb during her 11pm broadcast. Sue said, "I have to acknowledge an unfortunate incident ... I used a word that many people find offensive. It was a mistake I made and I'm truly sorry."

I wasn't offended, Sue! I was entertained. I feel the same way about rising grocery prices. What the fuck are you doing?!

It's a good thing Chuck Scarborough's response to Sue wasn't heard live on air, "Shut the fuck up Sue! You dumb fucking cunt!" Local news people are fun!

Thanks Caitlin

The other day I wrote about the gorgeous Sheyla Hershey, a mother and wife from Texas, who wants to take her FFF sized breasts to a GGG. The state of Texas won't let her, because that's gross. Sheyla was going to have the surgery done in Brazil, but it looks like she's gone to the land of plastic shiny things instead. Sheyla met with Dr. Rey from "Dr. 90210" today about making her mutant chest even more mutant-like. The bitch is going to look like the Hulk.

The face on the woman behind Sheyla says it all. The woman knows that she can't stare directly at Sheyla or she'll turn into rock hard stone. If she turns into stone, Sheyla will immediately mount and fuck the woman until she breaks. That wouldn't be a good thing.

That being said, Sheyla is just what Los Angeles needs. Another natural beauty!

17-year-old Marche Taylor wore this elegant and sophisticated dress to her high school prom and school officials were not amused. Marche showed up to Madison High's prom at the Sugar Land Marriot in Texas and didn't make it past the lobby. School officials would not allow her inside the prom, because they felt her outfit was not appropriate.

Marche said, "I actually like the dress. Everybody else likes my dress." No, the dress did not come from the Shauna Sand prom dress collection. Marche had it custom made. Yeah, she just grabbed a few bedroom sheets and wrapped them around her. Custom made my ass!

Marche and school officials began to argue, because Marche felt she was being treated unfairly. She offered to cover up more, but officials still wouldn't let her inside, because she wasn't wearing underwear. Well, the girl is thinking ahead! She doesn't want to worry about a pesky thing like panties when she's getting hers later in the night.

Marche then demanded her money back. Things got so bad that the cops were called. They showed up, handcuffed Marche and escorted her out. A photographer snapped a photo of Marche being led out in handcuffs in her classy dress.

Slutty dress? Handcuffed by police officers? That sounds like my kind of prom. The school principal was just jealous! That shit is classy right there. Big Lots should hire Marche to design a new line of hot prom dresses for them. I mean, teen hookers go to their proms too!

Thanks Marianne

The trailer for the greatest movie of the year has arrived! Now, I knew this movie had talking chihuahuas in it, but it also has production numbers! I think this cinematic masterpiece was made just for me. Disney must be hacking into my brain. I wouldn't doubt it.

You know the chihuahuas in this movie are going to pose nude in Vanity Fair next year. Well, they are part of the Disney whore machine. They can't help it!

Hugh Hefner knows who Miley Cyrus is? I'm impressed. He probably thinks she's some country western chickie from the 1820s, when he was a teenager. At yesterday's Playboy Ho of the Year luncheon, Hugh gave his two cents on the VF crap saga, “She’d be welcomed in the magazine. Very pretty lady."

I love that he called her a pretty lady. Hugh is a pretty lady too! We're all pretty ladies.

Hugh went on to tell Extra, “I think to make such a big to do over something as innocent as those photos, I think is a reflection on how schizophrenic America is about sexuality." Hugh then had to excuse himself, because he went poopy in his panties.

And ewww at Miley in Playboy. Now Trish Cyrus in Playboy is a different story. She's already got the "I'll suck yo dick for a deep fried snickers" look down pat.