Plastic Surgery

Alicia Douvall, the welfare-version of Jordan (and that's saying A LOT), recently put her titties under the knife for the 14th fucking time! Tittay abuse! Alicia's doctors told her to stop tinkering with her Ziploc sacks, but she can't stop.

The "glamour" model told The Sun, "I know it will kill me. But I'd rather die trying to sort things out. My last boob job was a disaster. One of the implants left my chest really lumpy, so I needed to sort it out." Methinks the implant was lumpy, because it was trying to escape from this skank's body!

Alicia needs to stop this shit. Her titties have been through enough. Alicia needs to spend her time finding a cure for cancer or learning how to tie a cherry stem with her twatty. Anything, but putting her boobs through more trauma. Those sad chest rocks need to be put on the Witness Protection Program.

Alicia is also the tramp who recently said her 12-year-old daughter wants a tit job. Alicia was spotted taking her daughter to the plastic surgeon's office last month. Alicia doesn't need another boob job, but she does need a lobotomy.

NO! Above is a picture of Jacklyn Zeman from "General Hospital" in 2005 (left) and in 2008. In the 2005 picture you can sort of start seeing her love with the needle. But what in Luke & Laura hell has she done to her face since then?! When I first saw these pictures on TMZ, it took me a couple of quick minutes to realize who it was. Can the woman even blink or does she just carry around a bottle of Visine with her at all times? She uses clothespins to shut her eyes while she sleeps.

I mean, I know international supermodel Phoebe Price is a stunning creature, but not everyone can pull off that kind of beauty. Poor Nurse Bobbie thought she could, but she can't!

Foofy Foofy's true love, Brigitte Nielsen, is getting a full body makeover on German TV. Viewers watched as Gitte got fat wet vacced from her thighs, her eyes botoxed and silicone drained from her chichis. In the next few episodes, Gitte will also get new teeth, a facelift, an eyelift, more botox and a titty lift.

44-year-old Gitte hopes that when it's all sucked and lifted she will be able to pose for Playboy again. She said, "I know I will be breaking a taboo. But I’m sure that it will provoke a new discussion. It’s time things change. I feel 30 and want to look that way again."

Why do whores always say they want to look 30 again. She's never going to look 30 again. After she gets sucked and injected, she's going to look like a 60-year-old plastic muppet. Not even one of those soft muppets, but a plastic muppet! That shit is never cute!

And Gitte needs to stop putting her business all over reality TV. What's next? Getting her pussy tightened live on The View?

Source: Daily Mail VIA Celebitchy

File this under: See it to believe it! Page Six claims Rojo Caliente's true love, Cynthia Nixon, went and got her titties done! A source said that soon after "Hags In The Shitty" came out, Cynthia and her co-star Kristin Davis checked into Roosevelt Hospital for a little work.

The source said, "Cynthia had a breast augmentation and soon after, Kristin had the varicose veins on her legs removed. They both made sure they did it on the quietest day of the week."

Yeah, who cares about Kristin! That ho could get a sex-change and I still wouldn't give a llama's nutsack.

Cynthia's spokeswhore denied she had any work done. And the woman did have breast cancer! Maybe her being in the hospital had something to do with that.

Besides, she doesn't need new chichis. Rojo loves motorboating her cherry tomatoes.

And this next dedication, goes out to Cynthia from a fire mountain of a woman who loves you "just the way you are."

Joan Rivers got kicked off of the UK talk show "Loose Women" for using the fuck word on air Joan was talking about interviewing Russell Crowe on the red carpet and said, "He is a piece of - get ready to bleep this. Fucking shit!" Well, the show was live and there was no delay! Joan was asked to get the fuck out during commercial break.

Please, you know the real reason they asked her to leave was because her scary face was frightening all the little children who were watching.

Joan has since apologized, "Yes, I swore, and I'm so fucking sorry. No one told me the TV show Loose Women was a reality show and that I would be voted off. It's funny: offstage, I hardly ever use profanity. My favorite four-letter word is 'shop.'"

It's a good thing she slipped up during a UK TV show. If she fucked up in the US, she would immediately be sent to death row without a trial.

Source: People

Joan Van Ark still has a mug only Dr. 90210 could love, but at least she no longer looks like she's just come back from an extended stay at Hostel. I mean, you can actually see wrinkles! Wrinkles on Joan Van Ark! Imagine that. Now if she'll just work at getting that dirty daddy long legs off her eyes.

Here's more of this truly natural beauty at Fashion Votes last night.

Seeing pictures of LaToya Jackson always brings a smile to my face. My smile quickly turns into a grimace, because I don't understand how a plastic surgeon is still able to eff with her face. I would think that even the slightest touch of a scalpel would make her entire head deflate. Toy needs to be stamped with a giant "expired," so that plastic surgeons knows not to mess with her anymore. What's done is done.

One thing I do love about Toy is that she can be almost any hot fucking mess. With a few minor adjustments, she can be Fergie, Mariah, Charo or Jacko. All the great lady messes of music!

Here's Toy celebrating her 52nd birfday in Las Vegas last night with RuPaul. Why is she doing jazzercise moves on the red carpet?

The other day I wrote about the gorgeous Sheyla Hershey, a mother and wife from Texas, who wants to take her FFF sized breasts to a GGG. The state of Texas won't let her, because that's gross. Sheyla was going to have the surgery done in Brazil, but it looks like she's gone to the land of plastic shiny things instead. Sheyla met with Dr. Rey from "Dr. 90210" today about making her mutant chest even more mutant-like. The bitch is going to look like the Hulk.

The face on the woman behind Sheyla says it all. The woman knows that she can't stare directly at Sheyla or she'll turn into rock hard stone. If she turns into stone, Sheyla will immediately mount and fuck the woman until she breaks. That wouldn't be a good thing.

That being said, Sheyla is just what Los Angeles needs. Another natural beauty!

At first I thought this was Charo after having some bad work done. No, it's Jacko, I mean LaToya, I mean Jacko. I'm not sure! Wait a Billie Jean minute! Maybe, it's Jacko dressed as Charo? That must be it.

Here's LaToya/Jacko at a promo appearance at a Munich, Germany department store yesterday. She's getting better with age. Just like tupperware.

Sheyla Hershey, a 28-year-old wife and mother from Houston, has had 8 surgeries on her breast to get them to their current size of FFF. Sheyla has around 2 quarts of silicone in each titty and she wants more!

Sheyla just wants to look better. She said, “I want to look better each day, every day. Everybody’s got a dream inside, you know? And, it’s good when you can make your dream come true.” What she just said is fucking amazing. She must be thinking with her implants. Her dream is going to turn into a nightmare when her skin finally breaks and her titties explode.

Her huge chichis even earned her a spot in Brazil's Guinness Book of World Records. Sheyla still isn't happy and wants to beat the world's record for the largest implants.

Even though Sheyla wants to expand her breasts, the state of Texas won't allow her to. They have limits on the amount of silicone that can be put into each breast. One health professional told FoxNews that Sheyla should "undergo a psychological evaluation" before going under the knife again. She should undergo a lobotomy not an evaluation.

Sheyla will instead have her surgery in Brazil. Good for Sheyla! She has a dream and she's following it. A dream is a wish your titty makes.