Lily Allen

 

Dear Ms. Allen,

 

I don't give a flying fuck if you've got a damn doctor's note excusing your ass from performing. This is not kindergarten! This is real life and you better get your ass in yet another fluffy prom dress and put your feet into another pair of dayglo sneakers and sing your damn ass out. Sing the sick out of you woman! It's treatment. I'm a Doctor and I'm giving you orders! I don't give a hell's ass if you have to spit your chunky loogies into a cup offstage, but you're going to entertain those people that have paid top dolla to see your sniveling ass work it.

 

That's all. Oh and by the way can your next single be "Friday Night?" Love that jam.

 

xoxoxoMichael K

 

Here's Lily's apology letter.

 

 

Source: Lil's MySpace

 

 

 

 

 

Lily Allen is not being deported and her Visa is OK. Lily's laughing off reports from yesterday that her U.S. Visa was revoked and bitch was forced to return to England early in order to work out the situation.

 

Lily's manager however said everything's alright! "She's in Las Vegas right now. She will be there until Thursday shooting a video with Common and Kanye West for Common's track Drivin' Me Wild."

 

BLIMEY! Is that how the English say it? I was really hoping for that bitch to be thrown out, kicking and screaming! Amy WINO can stay, because frankly she's a whole lotta mess and we just can't pass that up. Lily however has become one annoying twat.

 

Deport Lily, but her music can stay. 

 

Source

 

 

 

Lily Allen found out at LAX on Sunday night that her work Visa has been stripped. Lily flew in from Australia for the MTV Video Award nominations and to shoot a video with Kanye West.

 

Her rep said, "Lily doesn't know why it happened, she is quite shocked, but her LA schedule carries on as planned. She's due back in the UK at the end of the week to continue work on her second album, and we're sure all this will be sorted out in time for her American tour.

"It's in the hands of the relevant authorities and these things take time. The most important thing to her is her fans. She does not want to let them down."

Lily was supposed to perform at the MTV Nomination ceremony, but won't now because she has to return to the UK. I say cancel everything! Lily didn't want to play America a few months ago due to "exhaustion." Tell Lily to take Posh & Becks with her too! In America we actually have to work or have 10 babies and go on welfare. That's why I'm totally moving to Europe.

Source: Daily Mail

 

 

 

Fat-mouthed Lily Allen is at it again. She's facing charges for punching out a photographer and she might be going to jail herself. She sat down with New York Magazine before her arrest in London and told them that she hopes Lohan goes to the slammer.

 

Lily said, "I could be Paris Hilton soon enough. Oh, my God, her life is so fucking insane. She doesn't even do anything. I can't wait until Lindsay Lohan goes to jail. 'Boo hoo. I'm going to jail.' Good. Does that mean you'll stop showing me your pussy now?"

 

Lily also thinks that British jails might be worse than American jails. "I bet English jails are nastier than American ones!" 

 

First of all, I hope Blohan goes to jail too. Bitch is hardcore though, she won't cry and groan like Paris Hilton. She'll become head bitch in prison. She'll come out with a teardrop tattoo and shit. And I'd rather see Lohan's pussy than Britney's pussy. Any day!

 

 

 

Lily Allen was arrested in London yesterday for allegedly beating down a photographer back in March. The incident went down on March 13th at the Wardour Club in the SoHo section of London.

 

A Scotland Yard rep said, "At 9.30am yesterday, a 21-year-old woman attended a central London police station by appointment.

"She was arrested in connection with an allegation of assault. She has been bailed to return on a date in late July."

Throw away the key! I used to be on Team Lily, but I'm getting sick of this ho. She needs to sit her ass in the corner for a long while. And yes that's Lily's boyfriend. What a peach he is.  

Source

 

 

 

Lily Allen cancelled all of her US tour dates, because she "felt like it" and wanted to work on her second album. She did however keep her NYC date, but she obviously didn't want to do it. She showed up hours late, was piss drunk and even forgot the words to her own songs. Witnesses say she had to use a lyrics sheet.

 

She told the audience, "See, I told you I was going to mess up!"

 

I'm really into this chick's music, because her snot-nosed attitude ruins it. Bitch needs to check herself and grow up a little.

 

Source

 

 

Lily Allen and Cheryl Tweedy are at it again!  Here's the basic rundown of events:

 

1. Lily says nobody wants to look like Cheryl

2. Cheryl calls Lily a "chick with a dick"

3. Lily says that Cheryl is only known for marrying a rich footballer and parading around without clothes

4. Cheryl says that Lily doesn't know what it's like playing big stadiums

 

Lily has responded AGAIN, “All she does is sing songs that aren’t hers and do some sexy dance moves, and marry someone rich. People forget that this time last year I hadn’t even released a song. I don’t know many people that are doing arena tours on their first album.”

“I played twice at Wembley Arena last year and I’m playing Wembley Stadium in a couple of months. I’m over here in America where I’ve sold more than 500,000 albums. I wonder when Girls Aloud (Cheryl's group) last came over here to promote an album? I don’t think anyone has even heard of them over here.”

Will they whip out their cocks already to see who has the biggest! UGH! Stupid broads! There are wars in this world! Ahahaha...

Source: Fametastic

 

 

 

Lily Allen wrote a song about Girls Aloud' singer and footballer wife, Cheryl Tweedy. The song's lyrics go on about how much Lily wants to look like Cheryl, because she's so perfect. I think Lily was being saracastic, because later she said nobody wants to look like Cheryl Tweedy.

 

Cheryl fired back by saying, “Because everyone wants to look like her. Chick with a dick. She’s either talking shit or talking about someone else. Asshole."

Cheryl Tweedy is so damn hot. I didn't know she had a mouth on her like that! Tacky, gorgeous and foul-mouth? I'm in love.

 

Lily fought back the only way she knows how, on her MySpace . She said:

I know I've said bad things about people in the past , though the majority of them have been blown wayyyy out of proportion , but this i mean - Cheryl if you're reading this , I may not be as pretty as you but at least I write and SING my own songs without the aid of autotune . I must say taking your clothes off , doing sexy dancing and marrying a rich footballer must be very gratifying , your mother must be so proud , stupid bitch .

Hmmm...let's see Cheryl Tweedy is more attractive and doesn't have as much talent, but is probably richer. I don't see what the problem is! Team Tweedy! On a different note, WTF is Cheryl wearing in that picture?!