Lily Allen

Lily Allen has a new talk show on the BBC Three channel in the UK. The BBC were hoping that Lily's new show would bring them a whole new audience. It doesn't look like that's going to happen. Apparently, her show sucks. Lily had a taping the other day and a third of the audience walked out, because they were "bored."

One of the audience members who walked out told the Daily Mail, "Everyone really, really wanted it to work for Lily. She is such a lovely person but all the jokes fell flat and she seemed very nervous. It just did not work. I do think she's got a nice voice but she didn't sing at all. I think everyone was expecting she would."

Another audience member said she read off of cue cards and then started rambling about how people attack her on the internet while she was interviewing a guest. It became about her.

Why do some of these people think they have the talent to branch out and do other things? Their ego needs to be put in check. Lily needs to stick to what she's good at. She needs to make music and sing. Let the laugh makers do their job and she can do hers.

Lily was also seen out at a pre-Bafta party with a mystery dude with no lips.

Wenn

Lily Allen has been dumped by Ed Simons of the Chemical Brothers reports The Sun. Lily had a miscarriage only weeks ago and now she's been kicked to the curb. When it rains it pours. Lily and Ed tried to make their relationship work, but after a series of major fights Ed told her ass "it's over."

A source said, “They tried to make things work but couldn’t. The miscarriage was a horrible experience for both of them - and in recent weeks the mood between them had been really strained." It was also reported that Lily and Ed were going to try to have another baby, because they really wanted a family.

Lily got pregnant a month after she started dating Ed.

Oh fuck him! Lily will find someone else. It's better she found out now rather than finding out later when she's pregnant again. Lessons learned. Maybe she should date the next dude for a couple of months before agreeing to have his child. I'm not even ready to leave my toothbrush at someone's house after a couple of months. Yes, I can swap fluids after one night, but the toothbrush is a big deal. Don't ask me why.

Lily Allen's 21-year-old brother, Alfie Allen, bared it all at the premiere of Equus last night. Alfie took over the role from Daniel Radcliffe and co-stars alongside Danny's ex, Laura O'Toole.

Hmmm....maybe Alfie is a grower and and not a shower? It looks like a itty bitty pig in a blanket! I wonder if there's extra butter in there? You know how I love my dick butter. Sucio, sucio!

Click here....here......here....and here to see Alfie's willy. It's NSFW. It will probably give you a craving for vienna sausages. I'd hit it. At least I wouldn't gag my lunch out when trying to take it to the nuts.

Small dicks turn anyone into an expert deep-throater.

Mr. Paparazzi

The Sun reports that Lily Allen has suffered a miscarriage. 22-year-old Lily found out she had lost her baby with 37-year-old Ed Simons when they got back from a vacation in the Maldives last night. News of Lily's pregnancy broke last month.

A source said, “Lily and Ed are in a state of shock. The bad news has been really difficult for them to take and they are absolutely heartbroken. Lily’s entire outlook on life changed after she found out she was pregnant. She was looking forward to being a mum and starting a family with Ed. She had turned her back on her party girl image and had turned over a new leaf. They are surrounded by friends and family are offering support. It is a really difficult time for them.”

Her rep confirmed Lily's miscarriage, “We can confirm that Lily Allen has suffered a miscarriage. She and her partner Ed Simons will be making no further comment and we ask that their privacy be respected during this difficult time.”

Sad. I'm not sure what to say. Sad. That's all.

Lily Allen is taking her sweet ass time making a new album. It probably won't be ready until 2009. Lazy bitch! She's too busy trying to be a sexy party girl. Anyway, she found some time to cover ELO's "Mr. Blue Sky" for a French commercial and she really shouldn't have wasted her time. She should have partied more instead.

It's awful and hurting my ears. It sounded like it was made using a child's Casio keyboard and one of those Fisher-Price Farmer Says toys. I was waiting for a cockadoodle-doo.

VIA Stereogum